#398 How to Stay Consistent When Life Gets in The Way

Episode Overview

We all start the year with big goals and fresh motivation—but what happens when life gets in the way? Whether it's getting sick, traveling, or just falling into old habits, it's easy to feel like you’ve lost momentum. But here’s the truth: Consistency matters more than perfection.

In this episode of Better Than Before Breast Cancer, I’m sharing how to stay on track even when setbacks happen. You’ll learn why self-compassion is the key to long-term success, why small, sustainable steps always win, and how to reframe negative thoughts that stop you from moving forward.

Episode Highlights:

01:45 - Challenges of Maintaining New Year's Resolutions
04:26 - The Importance of Self-Compassion and Self-Love
07:49 - Realistic Goal Setting and Consistency
10:18 - Practical Tips for Staying Consistent
12:44 - The Role of Thoughts in Achieving Goals
19:35 - Embracing Gentleness and Support
21:42 - Conclusion and Call to Action

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why setbacks are normal and don’t mean you’ve failed
✔️ How your thoughts about consistency impact your success
✔️ The power of self-compassion in getting back on track
✔️ Sustainable habits to reset after falling off course
✔️ Why small actions every day make the biggest difference

Resources Mentioned:

📌 Free Resource: Download my 31 Days of Self-Care Journal to start building a habit of daily self-care and consistency. Get it here.

Powerful Quotes from This Episode:

“Consistency is more important than compliance. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to keep showing up.”
“It’s not about making life easy, it’s about being committed to yourself through the ups and downs.”
“You deserve to give yourself what you need. No excuses. No guilt.”

Let’s Connect!
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Read the full transcript:

0:00
You're listening to better than before breast cancer with the breast cancer recovery coach, I'm your host, Laura Lummer. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm a breast cancer thriver. In this podcast, I will give you the skills on the insides and the tools to move past the emotional and physical trauma of a breast cancer diagnosis if you're looking for a way to create a life that's even better than before breast cancer, you've come to the right place. Let's get started.

0:33
Hey there, friends, welcome to episode 398

0:37
of better than before breast cancer. I am your host. Laura Lummer, I'm happy to be back. I was not here for last week's show. There was no show last week because, man, I was sick. I got hit with the flu. Oh, and it was the absolute worst timing. I was actually headed to Cabo San Lucas for a week that I was going to be spending at my friend and former sister in law's house, and we had all these great plans, and we had some upcoming activities for 2025 that we needed to dig into some details in I'm super excited about this trip. And I got on a plane to head down to Cabo San Lucas, and really suddenly felt super tired, and within hours of me arriving there, had the fever, had the chills, was in bed for a solid three days, I think the first night I slept, actually, 24 hours. I slept the entire day, and the next day I felt miserable. And finally, By day three, there was no improvement, and I had to figure out how to get my very sick butt back on a plane home where I spent the next several days in bed recovering from the flu. Not fun, not the way I planned a trip to Mexico. And that really gets me thinking about what we're going to talk about today on today's episode, because, you know, we start off the year so strong. And back in December, I did some workshops on creating your best year. I even released a program creating the life you love in 168 hours a week. And there's just so much excitement right when a new year comes up, I got out the calendar. We did this workshop on looking at your whole year and what you want to create in a year, and then bam, right off the get go month one, when you're fired up, something goes wrong, right? Maybe you took a vacation. Some people take a vacation the beginning of the year to recover from the holidays. Maybe you got hit with the flu that's going around, or a cold that's going around, and something just knocked you off track. And that can really affect your mindset. It can make you feel like you're really struggling. You can feel very defeated, or you can even feel like you've already failed. I want to talk about this because definitely I went through some discouragement. It's been, let's see little. We're coming up on two weeks, right? It's almost two weeks since I got hit with the flu, and I'm still like 95% very tired, very weak, still hit me really hard. And so it can be discouraging when you're excited about taking care of things, you're excited about accomplishing things that had, you know, physical goals and business goals and all kinds of stuff. And so it can be very discouraging. And so I want to get one thing straight right off the bat, it isn't just you, it isn't just me. Stuff comes up, things happen, things get in the way. And in fact, research shows that 43% of people have already given up on their New Year's resolution, and by mid February, which we're coming up on, by the time this show comes out, this will come out on february 14, Valentine's Day. Sending love to you all, up to 90% of resolutions have gone out the window, according to Ohio State University Studies. So this is pretty impactful. You know, what does it tell us? I think it tells us that most of us are doing something wrong when it comes to setting our goals. And it isn't that we're lazy and it isn't that we're unmotivated, is that sometimes we can have unrealistic expectations, and we can get caught up in this self defeating mentality if we haven't created the kind of self supportive environment that makes being consistent easier on us. So I think this actually coming out on Valentine's Day is very appropriate, because a lot of showing up for ourselves comes back to self love and the practice of self love, and this is something that I work with my clients on all the time, moving out of judgment, moving out of right and wrong and good and bad, and condemning ourselves and moving. To self compassion and moving in to self love. And so how do we show up for ourselves? How do we get back on track when life happens, when we get sick or we take a vacation or we just find ourselves sliding into old habits? You know, a couple of days ago, I was scrolling. We can call it Doom scrolling. That I was looking through some Facebook groups, and it was this one group in particular, and it's a breast cancer group, and there was just a lot of negativity in this group. There was a post that said something to the effect of how angry someone got whenever a person would comment to them and say, You're so strong. And this person got really upset, and they were saying, I'm not strong. I don't have a choice. And then there was a litany of comments saying, I hate it when people call me strong or This is so unfair. I shouldn't have to go through this. This shouldn't have to be so hard for me. And as I read these comments, I thought these thoughts are not helpful, and isn't it interesting that we have them to begin with? Like, where does a thought of I shouldn't have to go through this? Come from who says we shouldn't have to go through shit. Who do you know in life who hasn't had to go through some shit? Maybe it's not breast cancer, but I don't know a single person who has not had trials and struggles. I don't know a single person who can follow a healthy lifestyle plan, make time for their exercise, their meditation, their stress reduction, eating well, balancing food, spending time with loved ones. I don't have a single person who can do all that without effort and attention and energy, right, an investment of time and energy.

6:57
I don't have the rules to life, but I could tell you one thing I know for sure, it just doesn't come easy, and so the thought of, I shouldn't have to do this, or when it comes to your goals, saying things to yourself like this is too hard. We have to really be mindful of how we talk to ourselves, because these thoughts do not serve us. They do not help us move any closer to that future version of ourselves, that future version of the person who is happy, who is joyful, who is creating a life they want, who is learning how to be resilient. You know, I've talked about this on the show many times before, and I'm sure I will many times again. It is not about making life easy. It is not about making sure that negative feelings don't come up, that things don't sideline us, that we don't get sick, you know, that the wheels don't come off of the plan somewhere. I don't think that's what setting goals is about. I don't think that's what planning on future versions of ourselves and our life is about, it's about being so committed to showing up for ourselves that knowing these things will come up and get in the way we embrace, that we hold space for, that we're open to that, and the commitment isn't as isn't making things happen flawlessly. It's just keep showing up for yourself and being as consistent as you can. As life is happening. A big reason why we stop showing up for ourselves, or we stop showing up for what we want to create in life, or what we want to learn in life is that we set goals that are unrealistic. They're too big, or they're too vague, or they're black and white and they're all or nothing. And we think things like, I'll have clients come to me and they'll say, Okay, this is it. I'm going back to the gym. I'm gonna exercise six days a week for an hour at a time. You're going from no gym time whatsoever, to six days a week, an hour at a time. That's too much. That is such a big change that your brain is just literally going to explode, right? It's going to fight you, and it's going to resist all along the way. We think we have to go do something every single day. We have to eat perfectly. We have to eat clean, we have to give up that carbohydrate forever, and that's never gonna work. Maybe it'll work for a week or two, but this is why, what did I say? 93% of people have already fallen off their goals. Because their brain is like, Yeah, I'm not on board with that. And the judgment steps in, right? We get sick, we travel, we have the stressful week, we miss a few workouts, we eat the piece of cheesecake instead of sticking to the plan, and then we tell ourselves that we failed and we think I've already messed up. So what's the point? And it's such a common mind trap, it's really resonating with me a lot. Now, because if you follow this show with any regularity, you know, I love to work out. I love spin classes. I love going to the gym. I love yoga, and I love my beach walks. And I gotta tell you that, you know, the flu I had affected me went into my chest and and it really hit me hard, and in this last week, I've been doing half of the time that I normally, normally walk a couple of miles, about three miles every day, I've been walking like a mile to a mile and a half because my body is very tired, and I'm honoring my body, and I'm honoring that it's in recovery. And I haven't said any intense workouts, because I can tell that I'm fatiguing really easily, and so my focus now is nourishing. My focus is rest. My focus is nourishing. I still want to get outside every day. I still want to move my body every day, but I want to move it in a very gentle way and hold space for my ability to heal, right? No self judgment, no pushing myself harder that has to be and missing a few days of spin classes or Pilates classes does not mean that I'm a failure. It does not mean that I have to give up. It just means that I've realized my body is going through something, and I need to honor and support what my body needs today. It doesn't matter if my plan is perfect, what matters is that I just keep showing up for myself, getting back to the plan you set out for yourself, getting back to healthy habits in any way that you can, as soon as you can after a setback, makes the difference between being successful in the long run and totally giving up on yourself. So if you've fallen off track at this point in time, if you've let go of some of your goals, if you got sick, if you took a break, if life got stressful, I want you to just take a pause right now and ask yourself, What's one small thing you can do today to show up for yourself. Again, not everything, not a huge overall, not redo the whole calendar. Maybe today it's drinking more water. Maybe today it's going for a short walk. Maybe today it is focusing on making sure that one meal is all Whole Foods and super nourishing, whatever that one small step is, it's just so important to realize that you can take it and that taking it over and over again and being consistent is what success looks like. Success is just keep picking up, keep coming back, keep showing up for yourself over and over again. So let's talk for a minute about the most powerful roadblock to that. The most powerful roadblock to success is your thoughts, the way that you talk to yourself. This is too hard. I shouldn't have to do this much. Other people don't have to do this. Other people don't struggle as much as I do. Right? Thoughts like that self judgment, comparison and these just imaginary rules that we've assigned to life, these thoughts are not facts. They're simply stories that your brain is telling you, and those stories, they can really determine everything. If you believe this is too hard, whatever it is that you're working on, then you stop trying, and you make excuses, and you convince yourself that you don't have the time and you don't have the energy. But if you can change those thoughts, and you can believe that this is worth the effort, then everything shifts right. When we're willing to find solutions, we're willing to keep trying, then we don't waste our time beating ourselves up. We just refocus and keep going. We say, What can I do next? What's the next thing I can do? So here we are february 14, when you hear this podcast or after that, and let's take a moment and just really check in to the stories you're telling yourself about your goals, about your progress, wherever you are in life right now, what you told yourself you would be doing now, and are you doing it? And if not, if your thoughts aren't supporting you, I want you to think about what is the biggest thought that gets in the way, and then try on a new thought. So if you're still there thinking this is hard, showing up for myself and consistently exercising every day, this is hard, maybe we replace that with something like this is very challenging, and I'm learning how to handle it right instead of I shouldn't have to do this much. What about I'm so capable of showing up for myself. You know that I shouldn't have to do this much is a real victim story. Three and it's very important that we ask ourselves questions about these stories we tell ourselves. Where do they come from? Why am I choosing that? How is this thought serving me? So even thoughts like I'm behind right? This is going to be mid February, I've literally been off kilter for two weeks. And in that two weeks, there was a lot that I wanted to achieve. I was actually kind of really excited before I left for Cabo, because I had done so many things early and had things programmed early that I thought, oh, now I'm gonna really get ahead, because we're gonna spend this week together kind of like a work kind of vacation. So I could look at now and say, Okay, I'm not only that week behind, but I'm behind them. I'm out the money that it took to go there, that I didn't even get to enjoy the trip, and now I'm super behind on everything, right? I could choose to look at that. I could choose to tell myself that story, or I could choose to say which one thing I do say is, what a miraculous body like my body, just keeps healing over and over and over. Like, in December I had a stomach flu and I had a cold. I mean, stuff has been hitting me hard lately, and then I got this flu, and here I am again, healed, right? This body just keeps healing. So I can say, okay, I can just start where I'm at right. Now I'm feeling better. I can think straight again, right? I can focus again. So where can I start? Right now, your thoughts really, really matter, and the important thing is to remember. You get to choose them. And I just want to reiterate this loud and clear. It is not matter how many times we get knocked off track. Consistency is more important than compliance. So consistency in the food that you're feeding yourself, in the way that you're moving your body, in the way that you show up in your relationships, in the way that you adopt new choices of your thoughts. You don't have to be perfect to get results, but you do have to keep showing up. Think about like this, like, here's a really simple example, brushing your teeth. If you forget to brush your teeth one night, or you're too tired so you don't brush your teeth one night, you don't wake up the next day and think

17:16
there's just, like, no reason for me to ever brush my teeth again. I messed up. I missed a night. I just might as well stop brushing my teeth forever. No, you're gonna brush your teeth. You're gonna move on. You might even brush your teeth with more urgency, because you wake up and go, Okay, this is gross. I need to brush my teeth, right? I want to get back on track. This is how I want you to think about your health. If you miss a workout, if you eat some junk food, if you get sick, if you have a week where you eat differently than you had planned, if you just need a break, it's okay. It doesn't mean that you failed. It only means that you're human, and what matters is that you just get back to what works for you as soon as you can. So if you've been struggling with consistency, let's focus on one thing. Just commit to doing something every day, not a huge thing every day, not your total routine every day, but just at least one small thing every day that supports your health, if you wake up, if you're tired, if you're stressed, if your calendar is particularly full, then maybe the only thing that you do is focus on making sure you stay hydrated that day. You just say, You know what? Today, I'm just going to focus on making sure I drink enough water, because hydration can have a huge effect on your mood, on your level of fatigue, on aches and pains and inflammation. So maybe on that day, you just make sure you drink enough water. Maybe it's stretching, maybe it's journaling. Maybe it's saying, no matter what my non negotiable is, I'm going to spend five minutes journaling to manage the stressors in my life, especially when life feels overwhelming. So picking something that you make very doable and you make it so easy that it just feels natural, as natural as brushing your teeth right. Work it into your routine, because when something feels easy, you're more likely to keep doing it. I've shared this before in the podcast, but one of my favorite thoughts is, how can this be easier. Another one is, how can this be fun? And so when we feel like we're being thrown off track, that it's okay to sit back and evaluate what you laid out for yourself. It's okay to say maybe you need a break. You know, a lot of times at the beginning of the new year, you just kind of need a month off, maybe two months off. You know, we go through the holiday season. Schedules are really full. It is cold and flu season. A lot of things that can happen. Family comes to visit. There can be a lot of stressors during the holidays. And so maybe a commitment that you make to yourself at the beginning of the year is, I'm going to commit to just relaxing. I'm. I'm going to commit to intentional downtime. I'm going to commit to not making so many commitments, and I'm going to be very intentional about holding space and time for myself to just relax. And then when March, April comes around, I'm going to start focusing on the things that I want to create. But for right now, it's just going to be this first quarter of nourishing and supporting myself, that's awesome goal to have showing up for yourself, and I think it is important to emphasize that showing up for yourself means recognizing when you do need a break. A lot of times, I'll have clients who feel guilty taking a break, who say I'm not being productive, or I'm not doing anything yet. But gosh, it's so important to recognize, like I shared with you, when my body is physically tired, it's really important that I make the space for my body to relax. I'll tell you in the last I don't know this last week, I've got to bed at like 730 at night at least three times, and slept till 630 in the morning. That's my body saying I need some rest. I'm still recovering, and it's my job to support that, not push that, not deny that, not say that's not enough. That's not intense enough. I need to do more. I just need to recognize where I'm at today, to support my body's ability to heal and to show up for me. And I think something that's really important about that is that you deserve to show up for yourself, right? There's no have TOS there's no supposed to, there's no should, because you just get to be where you are. You just are worthy of being able to feel good and of being strong enough to say, this is how I'm going to take care of myself. This is what I need now, because you deserve to give yourself what you need. You don't have to make excuses for that. So on this day where many people around the world celebrate love and togetherness, I hope that you will take some time to think about the love that you're offering to yourself, the self compassion, the self love, the support that you examine some of your thoughts and you know, go to my website and download my journal that's a free journal the 31 days of self care, and really dig in to doing one small thing every day that supports your wellness, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, every day. For 31 days, I've created a journal that has a tiny little step. It's free. The journal itself is free. But everything you do is free. You know, self care, self compassion, showing up for yourself, being consistent doesn't have to be expensive, doesn't have to take a lot of time, but we just have to develop that habit of understanding we're worth it. We're worth showing up for ourselves. We deserve time and space. We deserve gentleness. There's times when we deserve to support ourselves, because we have to push a little bit through some of our limits, through some discomfort, and then there's a time when we get a drawback and we get to be kind to ourselves. And so it's really in just connecting more to yourself and understanding what you need and when you need it, and why you're worthy of it. I think this is one of the most wonderful exercises in creating a healthy life. Is letting go of this idea of drive and discipline and really embracing the idea of gentleness and support and self care. So I think a great way to kick that off and to get yourself back on track and showing up for yourself. If you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you've fallen off, if you feel like you haven't even started yet, it's okay, because you know what, every day is a new day that you can start showing up for yourself. So go to my website, the breast cancer recovery coach.com, forward slash care and download 31 days of self care journal and start that practice of showing up for yourself consistently. What an amazing thing. And I, I would love to hear, because you can find me on Facebook and Instagram, the breast cancer recovery coach, I would love to hear how the practice of showing up for yourself for 31 consecutive days transforms your life. What do you learn about yourself? What do you learn about what you prioritize over you by committing to showing up for yourself in one small way for 31 straight days, it's an amazing exercise in self compassion. So I highly encourage you to download that journal. You can get it through the link where you're watching this on YouTube or listening on your favorite podcast platform, or just go to my website, the breast cancer recovery coach.com, forward slash care. So I hope that this episode has given you a little bit of inspiration and knowing you're not alone out there if you're feeling a little frustrated. If you're feeling a little bit off track, it's perfectly okay. You can start showing up for yourself again today. If it doesn't work out today, start showing up for yourself again tomorrow. And if you do it for two or three days and you fall off track again, just come back as soon as you can this is the important thing, right? Life will continue to happen. So how do we respond to life in a way that creates the life we love and the life in the body and the mental and emotional state that we want to enjoy? All right? Friends, keep showing up for yourself. Take care, and I'll talk to you again next

25:40
week. You've put your courage to the test, laid all your doubts to rest. Your mind is clearer than before, your heart is full and wanting more. Your future's at the door.