Episode Overview

What if being grateful for the life you have doesn't mean you have to stop wanting more?

Last week, I shared my celebration of six years of living with metastatic breast cancer and the importance of believing in the future I want to create.

And just days later, I found myself back in the hospital.

This year has brought more health challenges than I ever expected. Pain, shortness of breath, hospital stays, and some very big plans that I've had to put on hold.

But here's what surprised me. Even as the setbacks kept coming, my desire to do more, speak on more stages, and help more women create lives they love never went away.

Instead, I started questioning whether I should still want those things. Shouldn't I just be grateful to be here? Haven't I already been given enough?

In this episode, I'm sharing what helped me see the difference between a dream that no longer fits and a dream that simply needs a different path.

We'll talk about how gratitude and ambition can exist together, why obstacles don't always mean you should give up, and how to honor your goals without pushing your body beyond what it needs.

Because surviving something difficult doesn't mean you have to stop dreaming.

You can be grateful for the life you have and still want to create more of what makes you feel alive.

Resources Mentioned:

Download for iPhone: 

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/kajabi/id1485646310

Download for Android: 

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=kajabi.kajabiapp&hl=en_US

Work with Laura:
https://www.thebreastcancerrecoverycoach.com/health 

Let’s Connect!
If this episode helped you breathe a little easier, please share it with a friend or leave a review. Every share helps spread this message of hope, healing, and whole-person wellness.

💌 Join my email list for weekly wellness tips & podcast updates → The Breast Cancer Recovery Coach

💌 Join the Better Than Before Breast Cancer Life Coaching Membership → Life Coaching

💌 Join the Living Well After Breast Cancer Community → The Living Well After Breast Cancer Community

👩‍💻 Follow me on Instagram for daily inspiration → @thebreastcancerrecoverycoach

👩‍💻 Follow me on Facebook → The Breast Cancer Recovery Coach

🎙 Subscribe & leave a review on Apple Podcasts → Better Than Before Breast Cancer with The Breast Cancer Recovery Coach

🎥 Watch on YouTube → @BetterThanBeforeBreastCancer

Read the full transcript:

Laura Lummer 0:00
You're listening to Better Than Before Breast Cancer with the Breast Cancer Recovery Coach. I'm your host Laura Lummer. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm a breast cancer thriver. In this podcast, I will give you the skills, and the insights, and the tools to move past the emotional and physical trauma of a breast cancer diagnosis. If you're looking for a way to create a life that's even better than before breast cancer, you've come to the right place. Let's get started. Hey, friends! Welcome to episode 485 of Better Than Before Breast Cancer. I am your host Laura Lummer. I am very glad to be here today. You know, last week I did an episode on celebrating six years of living with metastatic disease and on the power of belief and the effort that I put into believing in the future that I want to create. And no sooner did that episode come out last Friday than I ended up in the ER and spent the weekend in the hospital. And I'm fine now. I'm back. I'm happy to be back. I was accumulating some fluid in my chest and had to have that drained. I've had to do that a couple times, and we're trying to figure out why, what's going on, and why that's happening? But that's besides the point. Well, I was in the hospital. I brought with me. I knew I was getting admitted. The doctor called me and said, "You need to go to ER. You're going to be admitted. And so I packed accordingly. Brought some cute jammies, and then also brought books that I wanted to read, and these books were very focused on manifestation, because, like I talked about in the last episode, belief is something that's very important to me. And I think that during the really hard times, when we're faced with challenges, it's even more important to bring in this information and to, you know, just reinforce what you want to believe. So I was reading this book, and the book was called "Manifest the Unseen. It's by Una Rivers. It was actually free on Kindle Unlimited. I downloaded it the other night, and it was really cool. As I was right in the beginning of the book, she was going through different steps in manifestation, and she's kind of relating them. They're not direct quotes, but kind of her interpretation of what different spiritual leaders or philosophers would say. And so she's talking about what she thinks Nietzsche would say in this specific instance, which is basically like connecting to that divine source that is within you, and she says, "Do not mistake this light for comfort. It will not erase your suffering. It will not shine through it. To awaken the infinite is to affirm even the shadows, and to say yes to life as it is, not as you wish it were. Yeah. So I was reading that. I reread it. I actually put the book down for a minute. I thought I need to sit with this because I'll tell you this year has had a lot of shadows for me. I've shared a lot with you over the podcast since March. I've been dealing with pain, and it feels like just one health setback after the other, and I had come into 2026 with big plans. Like this was going to be the year that I got on more live stages. I wanted to stand in rooms full of women and talk to them face to face about what's possible for them in their lives, especially after a breast cancer diagnosis, I wanted to talk to them about loving themselves, about remembering who they are under everything that life piles on top of their authentic selves. And then I started having pain. I started having shortness of breath. And can you imagine pitching myself to speak at an event, getting a yes, and then standing on that stage, unsure if I can even stand through the whole keynote or be able to breathe? All right, I couldn't. I personally couldn't do that, not to the event or the planner or to myself. So I pulled back. I kept my business small, and I took care of my clients. I took care of my body. I took care of my podcast, and I let the bigger plans and the bigger vision wait.

Laura Lummer 4:27
But as the months went by, the desire did not fade. In fact, with each setback, the desire I'd say even got stronger to move forward. And every time I had to say no to something, that part of me that wants to do this work was just screaming louder, like locked in a basement and pounding on the door. But even as that desire burned deep within me, I started to notice some different thought patterns. I started noticing originally a thought like, you know what, Laura, you're alive. You've got incredible doctors. You've got people who love you and keep showing up for you. Isn't that enough, right? Why do you keep wanting more? And I, I wonder if you've ever heard that voice, right? That voice that shows up when you want more closeness in your relationships, and you think, well, at least I've got somebody, and they're a good partner, or maybe it shows up when you want different career, or a wonderful trip, or just more time for something you love, and you hear other people have it so much harder, and you think, who am I to want more? Who am I to ask for more? Maybe you want to feel healthier, to be more fit, then you look at yourself and you're like, "Mom, more fit than Laura. So sometimes in life, that voice can get really convincing, and we can look around our life at our support system and see we've received so much, so much care, so much support, rides to appointments, meals, people sitting with us, people supporting us, people getting us out of the house when we really needed it the most, and somewhere along the way of receiving all of that, that can turn into a feeling that we owe something back to life, that we owe something back to the universe, that we owe something back to all of the people that have given to us, or, or worse yet, that we've used up our share of wanting more because we have so much. But that's not what that quote said to me. It said to affirm the shadows, to say yes to life as it is, and when I look honestly at my life as it is, pain is in it, shortness of breath is in it, hospital stays have been in it, but so is the burning desire to speak and teach and create, and my desire is not separate from my life, from my real life, it's part of it. Saying yes to life as it is doesn't mean saying yes to only the hard parts and no to the parts of me that are moving me towards the dream. It means that all of it gets to be here, the mountains and the boulders. And I say that because years ago I heard Rachel Hollis. We don't know who that is. She's a motivational speaker, and I heard her share an image. I was at an event, and she told this story, and it has stayed with me for years. And here's the way I remember it. So you decide that you want something in life, and that thing is up at the top of a mountain, and you look up at the top of the mountain, and you just feel it calling you, and you decide I'm going to get up that mountain, and you start climbing. And as you're climbing up that mountain, boulders start rolling down the mountain, and some of them you you dodge and you get around, but some of them knock you down, and as you keep getting knocked down, you have to decide whether you still want what's at the top bad enough to keep getting up, keep trying to get up that mountain, keep dodging those boulders, keep risking getting knocked down again. Now this year for me, the boulders have kept coming, and I'll be honest. There are days when I thought maybe this is a sign. Maybe I'm not meant to do the work I'm doing. Maybe I want the wrong thing. Maybe this is ego. Maybe I need to let it go. Those are the other thoughts that started invading my mind, and I started to feel a little discouraged, and I started to think, I don't know, could this just be a sign that I'm headed down the wrong path?

Laura Lummer 8:50
Maybe I'm just supposed to be grateful that I'm so lucky to have every day in this life that I've had for the last six years since just a horrendous diagnosis, but when I decided to sit and listen to that small voice inside of me, which I really did, decided to have like I need to really tune into this, I need to really question myself, I need to really listen to my inner voice, and when I did, the truth was, I still want this. I was tired of getting knocked down for sure, but there's a desire so strong in my heart-a calling-to help other women remember how powerful they are, to help other women learn to live the fullest version of their lives, regardless of the circumstances. And I think that being tired of getting knocked down and pursuing the wrong path in life are two very different things, don't you think? I think one says the desire is wrong, and. And the other says, "Dang, this path has been hard, and if we mix those up, we can end up walking away from something that's deeply meaningful to us. When maybe the only thing we needed was another route up the mountain, maybe a little bit of help, or maybe a little bit of rest. So when the obstacles are piling up in your life. What do you tell yourself they mean? Do you tell yourself you should stop wanting, or do those obstacles tell you something else about how you need to get there? Right. So for me, shortness of breath isn't telling me I'm not meant to speak, but right now, it's telling me I need to take care of my body and be smart about how and when I speak, and maybe to me that means more virtual events for now until this gets sorted out. Maybe it means fewer, more meaningful live stages or panels where I'm sitting in a chair instead of a packed calendar. So the calling is the same, but the root is different. You see what I'm saying? I can change a plan without deciding that my desire was a mistake. And something that I find comforting because you know how much I love the science. I love seeing how the human brain functions. I looked into the science, and I saw that researchers who followed women after breast cancer found that the ability to step back from a blocked goal and engage with a new one was linked with more positive emotion over time. So just finding a new route rather than exhausting ourselves pounding down the same trail. It doesn't say that we have to give up what we want, but it does say that flexibility helps. That holding on to your dream, with maybe loosening your grip on how it happens, is the important part. And I keep coming back to this. I want to keep showing up for myself, no matter how much gets in the way, not by pushing my body past what it can do, not by pretending that hard things are not happening, but I refuse to let a hard year talk me out of what I know is in my heart that I came here to this physical manifestation to do, and it took me a long time to figure that out. I am not letting it go, and I also don't want gratitude to become the reason that I stop listening to myself. And I mean, I'm so grateful for my care, for my family, for every person who has helped me. That gratitude is so deep and so real, and it makes me want to use this life well, and not shrink down to the smallest possible version, so that I don't ask for too much. So, what about you? Is there something you've stopped letting yourself want because life got so hard? Is it a health goal? But things started getting in the way, and so you just put it up on the shelf, and you've been telling yourself it's fine, it's enough. Do I really need it? I'm good enough. What if the desire you have for whatever that thing is, what if it isn't something that just needs to be managed, but what if it's part of your life as it is, along with the hard stuff too, right?

Laura Lummer 13:23
I would love for you to take a few minutes for yourself and finish the sentence. Life, as it is, includes fill in the blank, and it also includes my desire for fill in the blank. Say that again for you, write it down. Mark this part of the podcast. Life as it is includes fill in the blank, and it also includes my desire for fill in the blank. Let both sides be really true for you. Life as it is includes fatigue, and it also includes my desire to travel. Life as it is includes scans and appointments, and it also includes my desire to start a new class. Really see what comes up for you. Do you hear the who am I to want that? Do you start comparing yourself to someone who has it harder? You don't have to argue with that voice, right? The voice that challenges you. Just notice it, and then ask yourself this question: Is this obstacle telling me to stop wanting, or is it telling me something about how to get to the desire I have, and then you pick one small step that honors that desire and also respects what your body needs today. But the point is to stay in the conversation with your own life. Don't just let it slip by every day that we're here. We are still healing from whatever it is we need to heal from, and we still have things we want to put into this world. I want that, and I want that for you. And so we can have gratitude as long as we don't mistake gratitude for a sign that we desire too much. We can want what we want and reevaluate the root, and keep showing up for ourselves, no matter what that is. And I tell my clients this all the time, even if the thing-and I think this might be one of the hardest things to do-if the thing you want the most is more white space, more time, that's so hard for so many people. If you put up a vision board and it was completely blank, and you said my vision board is to have free time, what do you have to get off your plate? What do you have to say no to? What do you have to undo? And that every time you try to create that white space and something else pops up, do you tell yourself, "See, this just isn't for me. This just is not going to work out. Everything comes up, but what do you need to say no to? Where do you need to set a boundary? How do you need to keep showing up for the desire that's on your heart, the thing that you know you need? Think about that. Go back and complete the sentence that I gave you, and see what comes up for you, because I know firsthand this is not an easy path. Life is not easy. Going through a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment is not easy. Living with metastatic disease is not easy. But that doesn't mean we don't get to live the fullest, most joyful life that's available to us. All right, my friends. If you need help with that, come to my website, thebreastcancerecoverycoach.com. Join the Better Than Before Breast Cancer Metabolic Health and Life Coach Membership. Learn to love your body. Get the skills and the tools to manage your thoughts. Know that you get to create anything you want in your life, and if you're not ready to step all the way into the group coaching thing, still go to my website and go to coaching and programs and find a standalone program, a do-it-yourself program that works for you, that speaks to the thing that's on your heart and takes you to the next step. Because I'll still be waiting for you when you're ready. All right, friends. Until next week, be good to yourself, and expect others to be good to you as well. Take care.