After a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, you may find yourself wanting something new in life.

As a new year approaches, it feels like a good time to set that goal you’ve been saying you were going to achieve for the last several years.

But here’s the thing, unless you understand why you haven’t made it happen in the past, saying you want it will probably have the same result its always had.

When you want to create something, change a habit or transform a relationship, the first step is to let go of all the things you’ve thought about it that have kept you where you are now.

You may think you’re being realistic by basing your future on what’s happened in the past, but it’s the decision to stop living in the past that creates the space you need to move forward.

Sound confusing?

Check out this episode and let me clear things up so you can clear things out and finally create the life that’s Better than Before Breast Cancer™

Referred to in this episode:

Release Workshop: Create a Year that’s Better Than Before Breast Cancer™

Better Than Before Breast Cancer™ Life Coaching Membership

Read the full transcript below:

Laura Lummer 0:00
Hey friends. Before we jump into this episode, I just want to let you know that because of some exciting changes coming up in 2024, two of my standalone programs are going to be retired from the standalone category and they're gonna live inside my better than before breast cancer membership. So of course, those people who've already purchased the programs will have lifetime access. But if you always wanted to join 90 days of wellness and just haven't pulled the trigger, or you've always wanted to explore becoming you 2.0 And take the first steps to recreating the life you want to live after breast cancer, now's the time to do it. These programs will be accessible on their own until January 15 2024. After that they'll only live inside, the better than before breast cancer membership. So click on the links you'll find where you listen to this podcast, or go to my website, the breast cancer recovery coach.com and click on coaching and programs to grab one of these very valuable programs while you can. Alright, let's get into the show. You're listening to better than before breast cancer with the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm your host, Laura Lummer. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm a breast cancer thriver. In this podcast, I will give you the skills and the insights and the tools to move past the emotional and physical trauma of a breast cancer diagnosis. If you're looking for a way to create a life, that's even better than before breast cancer, you've come to the right place. Let's get started.

Laura Lummer 1:40
Hey, friends, welcome to episode 303. Of better than before breast cancer with the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm your host, Laura Lummer. And I'm excited to be here for one of the last this is the fifth to the last third, this is one of five episodes that's left for the end of 2023. And I gotta tell you, 2023 has been a really massive, and I'd say magical year for me. There's been a lot of challenges in 2023. And in order for me to overcome those challenges, I've had to really shift the way I think. And in order to shift the way I think I have dug deep and dived deep into the science of manifesting things. I've talked about it on some past episodes. But it is so important for us to be able to be future focused, and to stop living in the past, right to be able to design a life think about a life like think about this podcast and my programs, they are called better than before breast cancer for a reason. Because before breast cancer, you had a life as probably a good life. But in that good life, there were some things that were authentically you. There were some things you wanted to create for yourself. There were some ways you wanted to shift things. And maybe you didn't know how. And maybe you didn't even know you wanted it until you faced a life threatening illness. And then you came out on the other side and went, Man, sure it's got to change here. But you still didn't know how to do it right? When I talk about better than before breast cancer, I mean it I'm serious. And I'm here to say that my life and I can tell you the lives of the women that I coach are absolutely better than they were before they had breast cancer because they came to my programs, they've been coaching with me, but they've been doing the work on themselves. And doing that work, which a part of that work is to see that future version of yourself. And for me part of this evolution, especially in 2023 is kind of letting go of the way things have always been, and really opening myself to what are new possibilities. One of the things that's the most important thing to me is to reach more breast cancer survivors. I literally like I wish I could touch the lives of every single woman who's had breast cancer and touch her with a magic wand and say, Here you go, darling. You just got the life you deserve. That's what I want. And I know that everyone can have that. But you got to do the work, right? You have to understand where you want to go. And you have to let go of the things that hold you back. So as we move towards the end of the year, it's very normal for people to start thinking about goals for the next year. We start thinking about goals for 2024. What's my new fitness goal? What's my new health goal? Where I want to live? Where do I want to work? We start thinking about goals. And there's statistics that show us that. I think it's like the 90 percentile of people who set goals have forgotten about them by March 1 Right So for two months, we entertain them, maybe we show up for them a little bit, we dabble. And then they're gone. And I want to share with you why that happens. It happens not because you don't have the desire, not because you don't have the will. Not because you don't have the capacity to create something in your life. But it happens because you haven't let go of the old shit that holds you back. You haven't let go of the limiting beliefs that stop you from stepping in to the person you've always been authentically are and to allowing your full capacity to blossom. That's what stops you is the idea that I can't do that. I've never done that it's not worked for me before. I don't think I can do it, my mom told me I'll never be able to do it, no one will listen to me, no one will want to work with me, no one will want to do that with me. It's all that bullshit that stops you from achieving your goals. And I'm going to help you with that. I'm gonna help you with that in today's show, but I'm gonna help you in another way to this month, I am going to doing a workshop on and we're going to kick off the end of the year. So we're going to kick off, we're going to round up the end of the year with review, we're going to kick off the beginning of the year with space space to be able to create, because you cannot create if you don't have space, space in your life, and space in your mind. So I'm doing a workshop that is all about release to welcome in the new year and create space for the new year. And you can join me and get all the details about that workshop at better than before breast cancer forward slash release. Check that out because friend, I'm going to be there for you we're going to be live, I'm going to coach you, I'm going to send you a workbook to help you get your mind into the space you want to be in. So that you can live into the life you want to have. And the life you want to create in 2024. Now, when you think about 2024, and you want to create something like a new business, or you want to change a job, or you want to improve a relationship, or you want to change the way you eat, or you want to exercise more, all those things are possible. If you stop telling yourself, they're not, right, we've got to do the thought work. Because here's kind of where we go, we set a goal. And we think when I achieve this goal, this tangible thing, this weight, this number on a scale, this number in my bank account, when I achieve this thing, I'll feel this way, I feel good, I'll feel happy, I'll have everything. And let me tell you that that is not true. I mean, it's kind of true, it's slightly true. Like you may feel good for a little while, maybe an hour or two, maybe a week or two, maybe a month or two. But part of the process of human evolution is we get used to things, right. And when we get used to things, we want something else, we want something more, because it isn't about the thing. It isn't about having a healthier lifestyle, it isn't about creating a business for yourself, it isn't about achieving a certain weight on the scale. It's about the person you have to become in order to do that. So when you get there, the I have arrived isn't the number. The I have arrived is holy crap, I'm a different version of myself. I'm the future version of me. And I'll tell you to get to that future version of you, you've got to be open to letting go of past versions of yourself. Right? You have to be willing to let go especially for us for this community for us. Gotta let go of the idea of going back to normal, right? And why wasn't normal? When you have the capacity for so much more than normal? I'll tell you in the past couple of months, especially the past couple of weeks why I'm so passionate about this is that I have had emails and messages and conversations with many survivors people are on my email list and some people who are my clients. That is heartbreaking for me because their language is so limiting. I do this this business, this coaching this podcast, not just to answer questions like people have questions about did this happen to you when you were taking letters all that this happened to you and you're on chemo? These are reasonable questions. It's perfectly okay to ask those questions. But this podcast is so much more than that. This business is so much more than that. And your life is so much more than that. Right? I changed the name of this podcast from just the breast cancer recovery coach to better than before breast cancer with breast cancer recovery coach because I know your life can be bigger and better. If you let go of the idea that it can't All right. So in 2024, my heart is on fire here, for being out there and supporting you. In creating that life, that's actually better than before breast cancer, but it doesn't happen, just by setting goals. First thing is, we've got to recognize all the things that stop you from doing whatever it is you want. We've got to recognize the fears that come up. We've got to recognize the conditioned and limiting beliefs that come up that tell you, you'll never weigh that much, you'll never be able to eat that way, you'll never be able to travel that much. You'll never be able to be loved like that. No one will ever listen to you can't have your own business. Bullshit, right? It's all bullshit. And when I see my people, my girls, my women goes through this breast cancer experience. And it crushes and hurts them to the point where they're just feeling like they're limited for the rest of their life, right? It's a true victim. And I've got quote, unquote, for watching us on YouTube, you see it, but on the podcast, I'm doing quotations air quotes, this, this limiting victim mentality. And I understand why because this experience is traumatic. But there's a way around it, that can leave scarcity behind, and can open you to the science and the practice of manifestation of creating and stepping in to a bigger, better, happier, more joyful life for yourself. So I want you to think about something, I want you to think about that thing you really want in life, not so that you set a goal for it right now. But in the last two months, I've been working with the people in my membership, on leaning into life, right, and really creating the lives they want to have. So when we do this, as I said a minute ago, we think we'll feel a certain way. And it's that feeling right there that helps you step in to this process of manifestation. I talk with my clients about this all the time. Can you see the future version of yourself is that future version of yourself? Someone whose body is healthy and strong and free of disease is that version of yourself someone who is loved and worthy and happy when you think about that? This is what I want. This is how I'd feel if I get there. Here's the secret. You can feel like that. Now. You can imagine that feeling, right? I've shared this story before. I think just recently to that when I was coming in 2011 to the end of chemotherapy, and I just thought, Okay, this is what 2012 is gonna feel like, right? This is what 2012 is going to be for me. And I didn't know as much about manifestation then as I do now. So what happened was, I believed I had this plan in my head, I'll stop chemo, December 30. It'll be in my system for three weeks. And a week for baby it is back to life, right. And it didn't happen that way, as I've shared so many times. And because it didn't happen as fast as I wanted it to. And in the way that I wanted it to happen. I gave into frustration, right? And frustration led me to feeling angry, and bitter. And I hated cancer. And I felt robbed. And I was pissed, right? And I'm kind of glad that happened because it led me on the journey to where I am now today. But what I didn't know was that when we decide to listen to that future version of ourselves when we decide what we want, and we decide how we want our life to look, we have to let go the idea it's going to happen our way. Right? That's hard to do. Because we like things to go our way. No, I like things to go my way. And as we step into manifestation as we step into creating the life we want. The reason we need so much support is to help to keep our brain out of that attachment to the timeline of the expectation, whether it is healing after active treatment, whether it is supporting a long and joyful life living with metastatic disease, whether it is a long and joyful, no evidence of disease, disease, free life, and just creating everything you want, whatever it is, if we get too attached to when it's supposed to happen and how it's supposed to go. We're in evidently going to find ourselves in frustration, right? When we talk about manifestation, and we think about where you want your future focus to be in 2024. We think about what would that future version of you say? First, I think we have to just say I'm willing to evolve into that person. I'm open to the idea of thinking differently, I close my eyes and turn into my heart and think I release these ideas that keep me from becoming that authentic version of me that I can feel inside. Right? That I can sense the capacity to be this, the capacity to have this. And when we can be patient with ourselves and say, I know it's there, that I gotta let go of the timeline I think it's going to happen in, then we are really stepping into creating the life we want. So it really requires, and this is something that really over this last year has become very clear to me, it's much more about letting go of what's keeping us stuck, than it is about knowing exactly the steps to take to get where we want. So I think two things are very important. When you think about how you want to live, what do you want 2024 to look like for you, knowing what you want is important, right? I know what I want. I know I want a report that says I have no evidence of disease, right? I know the number of women I want to serve, I know the programs, I want to create input out into the world. And for the purposes of me taking steps to create the work to make those things happen. I have a timeline. But I am well aware that that timeline may not work. I think I shared in a recent podcast episode of what my timeline for 2023 was and how I had to adapt and be flexible, because it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to turn out. But what didn't happen is I didn't give up, right, I didn't stop from moving towards what I want, which is continuing to serve more breast cancer survivors continuing to show more women that they can have the lives they want. They can be powerful. They can be powerful manifest errs, they can have abundant lives, and they can move past and I'm not saying never feel fear, never feel scarcity, we will always feel those things. We're frickin human beings, and it's a part of our experience. But you can understand that those can be felt. And then you can choose differently and move forward. Right? That's the important thing. So I think it is very important to be very clear on what you want. If someone says to you, hey, what do you want your life to look like by December of 2024, and you say, I have no idea, then it's going to be kind of hard to move towards that. Right? You don't know what to do it. So getting clear on what you want, and how you want to feel is important. And then the other thing is releasing those past ideas that anytime an idea that comes up that says, My mom told me this society told me that my dad told me this, my boss told me that they all told me I couldn't do it, I couldn't be it, I couldn't have it, I'm not worthy of it, that you are able to recognize those things. And notice, that doesn't serve me, that doesn't get me closer to what I want. I'm going to choose something different. And this is not easy to do. It takes consistent practice, right? It takes energy and it takes intention. But I will tell you that I'm holding that space for you. I believe that as a coach, I have to believe in my people even more than they believe in themselves until they believe in themselves as much as I do. Right. And I know that trusting ourselves and believing in ourselves, especially after we've been through a trauma. I know how hard it is because I've been there, right. But I've also done a tremendous amount of work to understand how to move through that. So one, knowing what you want to letting go of the ideas that stop you. And three, allowing yourself to be in the process. Here's the thing, I set dates on my calendar. And when those dates come up, if something has been achieved, great, I cross it off the calendar. If something has not been achieved, I say okay, why didn't that happen? What do I need to change? And what new date do I need to set I don't beat myself up. I don't say God, you're such a loser, you didn't do this. That's like the third time you've reset it in your calendar. Because each time something isn't achieved in that timeline, I've learned something about it. So you know what you want. You work on releasing the ideas that stop you from getting where you want. And then you support yourself through this journey because getting to where you want to be is becoming a new version of yourself. And there's you can't have a timeline for that. Right? Things are processed in whatever way they're processed. The thing is to keep showing up to be consistent to get the support that you need to keep showing up and being consistent. So if you decide you want a healthier way of eating for 2024 and by January 10 You're not doing it. That's okay. Redesign recommit, keep moving forward, right? Let go of the attachment to the deadlines. Let it be more of like, what are those things called? It's like a slide ruler, right? And just slide the deadline over a little bit and say, Okay, I didn't make that deadline. But what did I learn? Here's the new deadline, what I learned is gonna get me closer for the next time, right? So we support ourselves through the evolution of becoming the person we want to be, to live the life we want to live. So you're not going to hear me talk about at the end of this year, for the few shows that are left for the end of this year. Here's your goal. Here's how you set your goal. Here's the objectives to get to your goal. Because I want you to be more invested and interested and curious about the person you want to become. To have the things you want to have in your life. I want you to think about the person you have to become to let go of the bullshit that stopped you from becoming that person. Until today. Right? I want you to leave you this show with those thoughts, what do you have to let go of, so that you can even allow yourself to want that you can allow yourself to imagine and be curious and create. Because in 2020 2024, I want you to create the life you want to live by December 31 of 2024, I want you to be so much closer to being that person who's living that life you want to live. And I want that for me to write, we will evolve together along the way. And this show will be here to support you. So as you come up to the end of the year, and you take some time for yourself, take some time to go to the breast cancer recovery coach.com forward slash release, and sign up for the workshop at the end of this month. So you can start off by letting go of limiting thoughts that will stop you from even being able to think about what you want. And if you want to go even deeper into that, then go to the breast cancer recovery coach.com Ford slash life coaching, because in January, we're going to work on that right to work on letting go of all of those things that have stopped you from stepping into the capacity that you have to be the amazing person that you are, because that's what we do in this membership. Right? I help you through the four pillars of breast cancer recovery, which lead you to having a life that's better than before breast cancer by releasing conditioned thoughts, beliefs and limitations. By renewing yourself with the things that you know, feel good, leads you to feeling well lead you to feeling the way you want to feel, to regrouping your life. So the things that don't support you in feeling the way you want to feel and getting where you want to get. They can easily be released from your life. And at the end of that you are revived, right. And in a revived life. We step into the things that we want to manifest and we give our gifts back to the world. That's how the four pillars work. And that's how you take the steps from going wherever you are now to wherever it is that you want to be. And I hope that you'll join me there. Get all the details at the breast cancer recovery coach.com Join me in my workshop, the breast cancer recovery coach.com forward slash release or click on the links that you'll find right here where you're listening this podcast or watching this video. And I will talk to you very soon. Take care

Speaker 1 23:45
you've heard your courage to the test laid all your doubts your mind is clearer than before your heart is full and wanting more your futures Give it all you know has you been waiting on yours this is your