This special Mother’s Day episode of Better Than Before Breast Cancer is filled with love, laughter, and honest conversations about how cancer impacts not just us—but our families, too. I’m joined by two incredibly special guests: my sister, a gynecologic cancer survivor, and my daughter, who shares what it was really like to watch her mom go through treatment and healing.

Together, we reflect on the fears we carry as mothers, the assumptions we make about how our illness affects our children, and the surprising truths we learn when we listen to each other’s hearts. You’ll hear different perspectives, some unexpected revelations, and plenty of raw, real moments from all sides of the journey.

This episode is for you if:

• You’re a mother navigating cancer and wondering how to support your kids through it

• You want to hear from both survivors and loved ones about the emotional impact of cancer

• You’re looking for comfort, laughter, and reassurance that you're not alone

• You want to celebrate motherhood with a dose of honesty, grace, and shared strength

Kristie's Romance Novel Recommendation:
Possession (Steel Brothers Saga Book 3, 3)

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Read the full transcript:

0:01
This is Laura Lummer, the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm a healthy lifestyle coach, a clinical Ayurveda specialist, a personal trainer, and I'm also a breast cancer survivor. In this podcast, we talk about healthy thinking and mindfulness practices, eating well, moving your body for health and longevity. And we'll also hear from other breast cancer survivors who have reengaged with life, and have incredible stories to share. This podcast is your go to resource for getting back to life after breast cancer. Hello, and welcome to episode 42 of the breast cancer recovery coach. I am Laura Lummer. And Happy Mother's Day. Today is Sunday, May 12. Mother's Day. And that was the whole motivation for doing this special bonus episode. Today I invited my daughter Brooke, and my youngest sister Christie, who is a gynecological cancer survivor, to share this show with me. And to talk about the different perspectives we have of our own story of cancer, what we thought each other were going through and what they actually were thinking. We also talk about how we told our mom and our fears and concerns about telling our mom when we had cancer and how she actually reacted. I wanted to do this show today because when I was thinking about Mother's Day, I thought you know, a lot of times there's as a as mom, there's just a lot of fear and concern and, and desire to do it all and keep doing it while we're sick. And we're working through it. And wondering how it's impacting our kids. So I know even I was surprised to hear some of the things that my daughter said, because her perspective of what she actually experienced was very different than what I was thinking she was experiencing. So I hope you enjoy this show that you get some, I don't know, some humor out of it, maybe some ideas and some points to talk with your own children about or your own mom's about, and just hopefully something to connect you, especially if you're still in treatment to kind of ease a little bit of that Mama guilt that we go through so often wondering what we've put other people through when we're going through an illness, even though obviously, this illness is something that is completely out of your control. So a couple of points, listen until the very end of the show, because we have a little bit of a blooper reel that you'll hear at the end that I think is is a pretty funny story. And other than that, enjoy, have a wonderful, Happy Mother's Day. And I hope that this show brings a little more joy to your day today. Brooke and Christie, thank you guys for coming today. And being here with me. I'm really excited to celebrate this Mother's Day podcast with my sister, who's also a mother and my daughter who mothered. So this should be interesting. So we really just want to talk today about our experiences as mothers and daughters. Having gone through breast cancer, what it was like for us when it first happened as we went through it. And I think it's interesting because as we've said so many times everyone's experience is different. Just like everyone's cancer is different. Everyone's experience is different. When you hear from Christie, I think you'll hear a different experience, even though she's a gynecological cancer survivor, still a different experience with her perception of cancer and the way that she handled it. So why don't we start off at the very beginning. So when I was originally diagnosed with breast cancer, first I was afraid obviously, as I've talked about in other shows that I didn't know, to what extent I had cancer, I had no idea what was happening. I didn't obviously want to die the way that I had watched my brother die. And I didn't want to not be able to live the dream that I had. I think everybody, when you become a mother, you have dreams and expectations for your children. But you also have dreams and expectations for yourself that go beyond the lives of your children. And those goals for me had not yet been attained. And that definitely was something that weighed heavily on my mind. But I also didn't want my children to be fearful. I didn't want them to be worried. I didn't want to frighten them. I believed 100% that I was going to be fine. 100% fine. And as I've said even before also is that I would go through cancer 100 times rather than watch my child go through at once. Because I know what I can handle. And when you're watching someone else go through it, you're helpless. And my sister Christina and I really have that experience because we watch my brother go through it and she watched me go through it now I've watched her go through it and broke up Just the whole thing happened while you were too young when Uncle Randy had cancer. But let's start with you, Brooke, what did you think when you first found out that I was diagnosed with cancer? You were 18 years old, right?

5:11
Yeah. Well, I knew something was up. But then you told all of us, and I didn't really process it. And I feel like it didn't really hit that something was wrong until you shaved your head. I remember that being a hard moment for me.

5:30
And what did decrease to do when I shaved my head? Show them Christy.

5:35
What did she do? She remember, I played that song, but it's I am not my hair by pink. Exactly.

5:42
She was playing that. Well, I was getting my head.

5:46
I can't listen to that song. It makes me emotional.

5:48
Really? Sorry.

5:52
But, I mean, like, I think it, it just didn't really process for me as I understood that you were sick. But I think I also knew that you were going to be fine. I think it's more later on looking back is I hope that I did enough to support you in that. And if I didn't, then wishing that I would have been more present, or, or gone through that process with you more, but can't go back. So

6:24
yeah. And just so that everybody knows that even though that was eight years ago, the scars that cancer leave are already all in tears, just talking about the experience and thinking about what happened back that and that's okay. And it's interesting that that's your expectation, because my thought was never that I needed support from you. My thought was, how do I make sure that I'm still strong enough? And I'm there for you throughout this process? So you're not worried or freaked out about it? That's really interesting. And Christy? Yes, I mean, yours is new and fresh. So you were diagnosed in January of 2019. And what did you think? I mean, initial thoughts.

7:08
Well, when my friend, Stephanie, my friend who is also in my OBGYN called me to tell me I had cervical cancer. Who by the way, if you need anybody to tell you, you have cancer, you want her to tell you because she says, Oh, okay, by the way, you have cervical cancer. And this is what's gonna happen, you're going to either just go in and they're going to cut it right out and you're fine. If it spread farther hysterectomies. If it's farther than that, then treatment. And we'll go from there. And she just kept talking. And I was like, whoa, okay. But my initial gut feeling was I'm going to have a hysterectomy. It's gone farther than that. And I'm having a hysterectomy. And that's it. So for me, when I hear news like that, I just go into survival mode, like what am I going to do? How am I going to fix this? So that was my initial reaction to it?

8:00
Yeah. And I think that again, you know, it's different for everybody. But I think to as Lummer Sisters, we have definitely those attributes of like, I'm going to fight and I'm going to stand up and I'm going to fix it, and I'm going to be good. And you know, for me, I had a lot of flashbacks of what happened to Randy when he was going through cancer treatment, because I had no idea that chemotherapy had changed and that I wouldn't be having the same horrific experience we've watched him go through. And so did it make any difference that you'd see me go through cancer?

8:29
I think it made a big difference. Because I mean, initially when she says, You have cervical cancer, my thought is, oh my god, I'm not doing chemo. I'm not doing that. Like I've seen it. Yeah. And watching right when Randy was going through it, I was 21. You know, how old it was when you were going through it? But I mean, it was almost eight years ago. Yeah. So I mean, I just remember being so young, and I remember him being in the hospital. It was just so different. It was so much I feel like so like archaic compared to what it is. Oh, god. Yeah. And then watching you go through, but I literally just said in my head, this is going to be a speed bump, and I'm going to get past it. I am not going to have treatment. And I just and it's not normal to catch cervical cancer on an a pap. So I just felt like we caught it early. That was just my initial gut. So but yeah, it was it was scary, because I knew what could happen to me. But I tried to say it's not going to happen to me, because there's that Lummer mode again, like nope, that's how it's gonna happen. Right? Period.

9:29
Take control. Fix it. Yeah. And so what about your decision? You have two kids? How

9:34
old are Holly and Courtney? Holly is 19. And court is 17.

9:38
Yeah. So what were your thoughts about how are you going to tell your kids? Well,

9:43
I just wanted to wait to tell them because I didn't know. I didn't know what my prognosis was like, she gave me three options. So I didn't want to tell my kids. I have cancer because I remember when I heard that Randy had cancer, you know, you're just like, like, you're gonna die. You know, I mean, that was my thought. And then hearing you had it, it was horrible. It was horrible watching you go through it. I mean, it was every, you know, chemo train with you, I watched you go through chemo. So you know, I do not want my kids to have that panic and worry. So I wanted to wait until I knew what I was dealing with because I had no idea what I was dealing with.

10:16
Yeah. And so then I remember telling you broke. And I remember you being very upset and telling me you already knew because obviously I have a loud voice. And you had overheard what I thought was quiet discussions on the phone, looking for a position and trying to research what methods to take. So if you knew before I even told you. It's like, you know, when you find your Christmas present under the bathroom sink and you pretend at Christmas, like it's still a surprise, or what were you thinking?

10:46
I'm trying to remember, I think it was just like, what happens next? And at the same time, I mean, I just don't think that I really processed it. So I was busy. I mean, I was acting, I was in college, I was making new friends. And so I just kind of occupied myself with that, and didn't really process what you were going through. Yeah, and how that affected you. So I just was like, you know, like you said, I have those Lummer jeans, too. It was okay, whatever, these are the next steps, and this is what's gonna happen, and she's gonna be fine. And it is what it is. Yeah. So.

11:28
And I think that's an interesting perspective. Because I think as parents, we're always really concerned about what are the kids think? And how does it impact the kids? And how are they going to react? And I have a mentee that I've been working with recently who has a few children, and she, you know, wants to stand up and continue being the mom to these five kids that she has that she's going through breast cancer treatment. And as we talk through it, it's interesting, because the kids are like, what, I'm playing a video game. You know, we forget that at that age, kids are so into their own lives that oftentimes like oh, you do. Okay, fine. Cool. I'm busy. You know, I have a date tonight. So it's interesting. I wonder how much energy you know, moms really put into worrying about the kids when the kids are like, wait, what I'm in the middle of Mario Brothers hang on a sec.

12:20
Yeah, I think when you started to go through chemo, and you were really sick from that, and after you shaved your head, and I saw that it was starting to affect your day to day that maybe it was a little bit harder. And I felt that maybe I should be doing something. But I was selfish and a teenager.

12:44
And did you notice anything about your brothers at that time?

12:48
No, because Brian and Brandon are so much older, and I didn't hang out with them, really. And Connor was so much younger. So I mean, I didn't wasn't really close with him at the time. So

13:00
yeah, still everybody in the room worlds where it's Connor just kind of shut down and started wanting to go other places. And I remember one time I was at a water polo tournament for him. And I thought, well, he's finally starting to come to terms with it, because he came over with two of his buddies that were on the water polo team is like, Hey, Mom, can you lift up your wig? Because when I would go I would wear a wig because I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Because I can tell he was really struggling with it. And then he came over and it's like, you know, broad daylight. It's weekend. There's all these people there. He walks up with these two guys on his team. Hey, Mom, can you lift up your wig? Why use my friend I told my friends you have cancer and they don't believe me. You show that you're bald. So did you?

13:43
Of course I did.

13:44
I was like Thank God this week is hot. Take this thing. Once I show people there's no need for me to keep this on my head. Makes her miserable.

13:54
Yeah, I think it's just like a What can I do? Kind of thing. So kids have a hard time processing it because what? What can they do?

14:04
Right? And you're just so young, you don't know you don't have the life experience. It's just more scary, right? So you're just like, I didn't go. Like you said I got involved with acting and doing stuff. You just you don't know at that age. Like I remember when I was I was 21 when Randy passed away. And this is so dumb, but I remember thinking at least he was 32 he was pretty old. Like How ridiculous is that? Now that I'm 47 right like God he was so yeah, that's just that you don't know you don't have life experience right

14:35
life experience makes all the difference. And speaking of life experience, how do we tell our moms right, so telling my mom and dad's because we still had dad at the time. I again just reflected back on our past experience of what they went through with Randy. And I thought I don't want them to think that I'm going to die. I don't want them to be worried and it was really hard making that decision to tell them and I did consider do I tell them or not? Do I just go through this and not let anybody know? Which then I immediately happen. Yes, family.

15:11
There's no way. No, this is the way this family works. So this is what I know. But don't tell somebody. And then it goes down three more sisters, did you? Yeah. But don't tell anybody. You're like, who did you talk to?

15:28
So, of course, I obviously did tell mom and dad. And so you know, Mom, just, you know, mom is mom. And I called them and I said, Listen, I want to come over and talk to you guys. Well, you and dad both be home. And I gave him a certain day and time she goes, Why? What's wrong? What's happening? And I said, Mom, I just want to come over and talk to you face to face. What they must know is that I was divorced because they were used to that from me, but I wasn't married anyway. And she just would not let me off the phone. She kept going on and on. And finally was like, fine. Okay, Mom, I have breast cancer. But, you know, this is a situation and I did have, you know, a little bit of information that time at this stage. I was in seventh. And I think she was, you know, she was shocked by it. She was definitely taken by Did you ever hear anything from mom that she talked to you?

16:20
You know, I don't remember. I don't remember that I because I just remember being so involved with you. I don't remember what your mom's reaction was.

16:29
And, you know, again, as I think as a parent, as a sibling, as anybody in the family, you want to be supportive, there's not a lot you can do, because you can't care counsel for the people you love. And so mom and dad hired someone to clean my house every week. In addition to all of you guys coming over and bringing food and having taco night on every Sunday. And you know, I I've shared this story before. I don't know if I've shared it on the podcast, but I knew nobody was worried about me anymore. When they came over for a taco night. And then when everybody was done eating, I was left alone cleaning the kitchen while they were having margaritas by the fire pit in the backyard. I'm like, okay, nobody's worried anymore. The Lord's gonna live. What about you, Christie? When you tell? How did you tell mom? You know, what are you thinking?

17:13
As you're saying this, I'm trying to remember because she's the last person I probably wanted to tell. And the reason I don't tell her is because I knew that she had already lost a child to cancer. And I knew that she'd gone through it with you. And she, I just don't want to make her worry. And by this time, you know, our father's already passed away. So she's on her own now. And she definitely was the last person one to tell. Which is really stupid. Because when I think about it, like if Holly my daughter had cancer, I want her to call me right away.

17:44
I was gonna say the same thing. Yes.

17:47
I think I would react differently than

17:54
honestly, I am thinking right now. Like, I cannot remember the actual conversation. But I do know conversations since her mom was just like, I can't believe it. What are the odds? Three of my children have cancer? Yeah, you know, I've had six kids and three of them have cancer. And I know that she was just concerned and then so since for the podcast, and other people know this, but our mother has been a caregiver for her whole life. Married our dad when she was 19. raised six children. Our brother got sick. He I mean, he died within six months, but she cared for him. After that. She cared for her dad's parents her in laws. For years, they passed away, then she cared. You know, Dad, she was my dad's caretaker for probably seven years. Oh, God, at least easily. Yeah. And so since then, she's just like, I don't want to take care of anybody. I just want to be a man what she should, right. Absolutely. So she just writes you checks. She writes checks. So when she called me and said, you know, after your surgery, are you going to need help? And I was like, wow, she's gonna offer to come like help, because she has, because I haven't number for a caregiver and I will. But it ended up working out even better, because she hired Brooke. And Brooke was my caregiver for a week. So which was really good. But yeah, I mean, she handled it well. And I think we have to go back to just being mothers. There's a lot of life experience that we don't give them credit for, because we're not there yet. We're not to her age, we haven't experienced everything she's experienced. And mom, you know, is very religious and has a lot of faith. So she relies on God for a lot. So yeah, I mean, it ended up being fine.

19:34
And yeah, and it's always fun. And I remember thinking that having that same experience where I was wrestling with, do I tell my mom and then thinking, Well, if it was my kid, I would be expect to be the first one they call right and same as you like, but you know, I'm cooler than mom so of course I can handle it better.

19:52
But you know, kids think I don't want to tell our kids like I don't want to tell Mom It's

20:01
We have a very different relationship than I think you and your mom do. So I tell you everything. So yeah, you'd probably be the first person I told after

20:12
Mica. Yeah, that's nice. I don't know that my daughter would say, give her a couple more years.

20:22
So whenever we come to the point, I survived, obviously, it'll be eight years in July since my diagnosis, you survived, you got a clean bill of health and pending, just actually a PET scan you had today, but everything looks totally clear and great. And Brooke, having been the child of not only a cancer survivor, but in a family where three very young people have had cancer, my brother was 32,

20:50
you were 46, when I got diagnosed when I was

20:53
48, when I was diagnosed, so how's it changed the way that we look at life, if at all, having survived cancer, having been a loved one to somebody who survived cancer, and wants to go,

21:09
I'll go, okay. So for me, ever since Randy died, I've always just tried to live my life one day at a time. And I always just think anything can happen, anybody can pass away at any time. Before Randy's passing, I don't think that I ever really realized that. But after he passed, I really do try to live my life one day at a time. And even though I got diagnosed with cancer, and and what you said earlier about, like, when you're the person that has it, it's not as scary because I feel like it's my body, I'm in control of it. It's scarier for everybody else that, you know, doesn't know, like, I remember one time, because literally, when I found out, I just said, this is a speed bump, I'm getting past it, period, I'm debt. And Holly told me you're not even processing this, I said I am. But I'm not gonna lay on the floor and cry about it. Because that's not going to help me like I need to move on. So um, but I always think like, even though I'm going through this, and I'm going through treatment, I could die on my way to the treatment, I could be hit by a bus, I could, you know, somebody can run a red light. So I just have to go through the steps like today I had a PET scan, and I know people get really worried about having a PET scan and being in a tube. And I was like, whatever, I get to relax for like 20 minutes, I'm gonna close my eyes, and I'm gonna do what they tell me to do. And you just take it literally, sometimes you have to take it one minute at a time, but you have to get through it. And we can't, we just can't determine what's going to happen and you can't control it. And you have to like give in to that. And I just try to continue to live my life that way. So when people say, Do you want to go here? I'm like, Yeah, I can. You know, and I want to have fun vacation and vacation and do what I need to do to live my life because cancer is a very scary word. But it's also something you can get through. Yeah, and I've, and I guess when I heard it, it wasn't. It was scary. But I've been through it. And I've seen people survive it. And it's not just our family, we've had a lot of friends that you know, have survived and have it and I just want to live every day to the fullest. Yeah, is that health

23:13
belief model? When you see someone set the example then it's not quite so frightening, right? Even though it's still a terrible thing to write through. Right? Do you think that it's changed your perception of how you treat your body with food with exercise with respect to having healthy relationships and choosing happiness? or tolerating certain behaviors?

23:34
Absolutely. And just, you know, I haven't I'm only I think what am I like eight weeks out from surgery. So I haven't I've just started exercising again. But I've always been grateful for my health and my body that it functions because of what we watched our dad go through dying from obesity, but even more now just how quickly that can be taken away. And I know the first week of recovering from my surgery, I was going out of my mind. Like, I need to be working I need to be doing the dishes, doing laundry like it was so hard to sit still. But Brooke you know, we had our chips, grated cheese and salsa. So that helped. But it's really hard. I wanted to get up and walk around and you have to like, respect your body. And so now that I'm coming out of it, and I and I love exercising I love you know doing everything. So yeah, I it makes you really appreciate what you have, because it can be taken away in a second.

24:32
But you also realize that importance and taking that anytime, right? Absolutely that quiet time, say well, I need to really just like get in touch with myself and check in with myself and I know sometimes I have this or I gotta exercise I got to exercise and I'll wake up and I think you know what, I'm really tired. Yeah. And my body feels really tired today, and I'll be fine. I'm going to sleep for an extra two

24:54
hours. It's true and I'm not going to sit whatsoever. So sitting I literally told myself for two After my surgery, I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to sit. And like I said that first week was crazy hard for me. But the romance novels that I got introduced to helped a

25:09
lot to sit, and what romance novels are those days anybody needs her

25:13
by Helen Hart, and they're about the still brothers. They're amazing. But other than that,

25:20
the dude is between us, Chris, he likes a romance novel, and I like a good murder mystery. Yeah.

25:25
But it's, uh, you know, it made me just realize like, it's okay to like, take a breath. It's okay to calm down. Instead of just running, running, running, running, which we all do. And I know, life is short, like, do you want to look back and be like, oh, yeah, I picked up the dry cleaning. And I mopped the floor today, or do you want to be like, I just read this amazing romance novel, and I relax. And then my friend called

25:49
me and said, coming up, because

25:50
I had chips and salsa with my niece, while she was helping me. I mean, come on. That's

25:54
better self care, baby. Yeah, definitely. That's awesome. What about you broke, has it changed your perception? If so?

26:03
Again, I didn't process it until later. But I think now it's more like, death is inevitable. And thank God, both of you guys survived, because you have a lot of life left to live, but you never know, when you're gonna get sick, you never know when your time is up. And you can be doing all the right things like you, Mom, I mean, I don't know another person who eats better or exercises more than you do, and can't serve out you anyways. So, I mean, that's not to say don't take care of yourself. But it's also like, enjoy, I don't know, the butter cake after dinner, or have an extra cocktail. Because, you know, there's all these warnings are all the time, it's like, oh, this will cause cancer, this will cause cancer, and it's literally everything. So to just enjoy your life, because you never know, really what's going to happen and also to enjoy the people around you and to make time because your friends, who are the family that you pick for yourself and your family that you're given are all you got, and you don't have them forever to make sure that you take time to be with them and enjoy them and to tell them that while you can.

27:23
Yeah, that's awesome. That's great advice. Absolutely. Yeah. And obviously, I mean, I don't think I need to go into great detail about the passion that it's driven me to, and to reach out to other survivors and support them in the same ways that everybody could embrace their lives have, obviously healthy lives, which I'm a huge advocate of. But more than that just held it, as I said, so many times, it's not about food. I mean, it is about food. It's not all about food. It's not all about exercise, it's about finding joy in your life, it's about following your passion, living a harmonious life with the things that are important to you. And building that courage to identify the things that are not serving your life in a positive way. And letting go no matter how hard that is, you have to really sit with yourself, whatever, if it's a journaling, if it's whatever it is, being very real and honest with yourself and saying, you know, this is the end goal. And these steps along the way are going to get me there. And these steps are holding me back. Because like you said, broken, like we've always said life, it's just too short, you know, you know what you want, you got to go for it. And that's tough, sometimes takes a lot of courage and takes a lot of swallowing your pride, it just takes a lot to continue to motivate yourself to move forward in your life and develop.

28:46
So here's something I just want to share. And just when you said that remind me is that I am an open book, and I share everything with everybody. And I know that maybe other people might get diagnosed and say, Oh, I'm so scared, and I want to talk about it. And if you've listened to Laura's podcasts, you know, like the way Lummer girls work is that we're not like that. We're an open book. So I mean, it's obviously a personal opinion how you might do this, but I'm an open book. So I shared on it on, you know, Facebook and Instagram. What I was going through and I literally found my cancer on a yearly Pat. Well, let me say, I was two years out of my yearly path.

29:24
So it is not uncommon at all people just give the things we

29:29
do you know, and you just think, Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. And I had absolutely no signs of cancer whatsoever. So when she called me and told me I was not prepared for that because there was no warning for me. So I just want to encourage people to share and be as open as you can and maybe you don't need to post it on social media, maybe that's not your thing. But um, you know, share with family members or share with somebody because you just don't know so from my posts, I've had 20 different girls that have reached out to me that have gone and had Pepsi. Luckily, everybody's been great. And everything's been good. But they're like, I had one person reach out said, Oh my god, I haven't been in five years, you know, and because of you, I'm going. So you just don't know. And when you post stuff, maybe you might get five or 10 likes, you don't think people are looking but they're looking and they're listening. And another thing was that I just when I posted, I said, I don't want any negative comments. So what was really cool is that all of my feed was full of hearts, and encouragement. And if anybody posts anything negative, just deleted it because I don't need that.

30:31
negativity. That's right, block you. Unfriend. Yeah, keep your negativity to yourself.

30:37
And the older you get. And when you get diseases like this, you're like, I don't need you in my life. That's way easier to shut it down.

30:43
That's so true. I think that I don't know, Brooke, if you have this experience, but I definitely know Christy has an I have that. When you realize that holy cow, like I could have died. And then someone comes to you with some petty complaint and you just go

31:02
over? Really?

31:04
Yeah. You just you look at things from a different perspective. And obviously, everybody has their own, you know, feelings and perception of the world. But you try to elevate that perception from people and say that, you know, where are the important things in life. And these are the petty things, but I definitely don't make room in my life for people who are high drama for people who have a lot of negativity, because that energy rubs off on you. And I don't have any need for that energy in my life. But you Brooke,

31:33
I agree with that. But you know, thoughts are things and sometimes those people need us to tell them change your thought pattern, right? You're doing it wrong. And you're bringing you're manifesting your own negativity in your own misery, because you're not sitting here thinking, this is just a speed bump. I'm gonna get over this. I'm getting through this. You're sitting here wallowing in your own pity and misery. And so that's what you're gonna get back. What you put out is what you get back. So

32:04
yeah, well, I really appreciate you guys being here with me tonight. And this is coming out on Mother's Day. So I appreciate Brooke having the chance in this lifetime to be your mother because you're an awesome daughter and I cannot ask for more. And to be Christy's big sister who although I terrorized her throughout her childhood, she she's she's happy to have me now,

32:25
Laura. For her fans, Laura has grown a lot. I can share some stories, but I will.

32:33
So we wish for everybody to have a wonderful, wonderful, Happy Mother's Day. And to understand every mother daughter sister has a different experience with cancer. But understand, you just have to own it. You know, you don't have to feel bad about whatever you're going through. Because it's not the same thing somebody else is thinking or feeling right. And instead of looking for the things that we have to feel bad about and worry about to look for the things to celebrate and look for the things to be joyful about because we have a lot of that in our lives. Yeah, anything you guys want to add.

33:08
Happy Mother's Day. Love your mom.

33:10
Thank you. Love you too. Happy

33:11
Mother's Day.

33:12
Thank you. Okay, as promised, I have a little blooper story coming up. So let me set this up for you. First, I just want to tell you that I will post in the show notes the books that Christie was referring to in case you're interested in picking up an exciting and mysterious romance novel. You can also find Christie at cabbie by K dub that c a b IBYKD. UB cabbie by K dub on both Instagram and Facebook. Christie is a personal stylist and she's very, very talented. And I know a lot of times it's fun to put a face to the voice that you were just able to listen to. So we recorded this show. And as we were talking about it afterwards, Christie says to me, you know, when you asked me about what mom said, or anything I heard from mom and dad, she was I thought it was story, but I didn't want to say it because I wasn't sure if it was appropriate. So she shared the story with me, and I'd never heard it before. So I was cracking up. Our dad was in LA County Sheriff, I don't know how many over 30 years definitely. And a very staunch and by the book kind of guy. So listening, you're gonna hear this little excerpt of a story she shared with me from my mom and dad and it's pretty funny. And other than that, I hope you have a wonderful Happy Mother's Day. Thank you so much for listening to the breast cancer recovery coach. If you enjoy the show, please take the time not to do on Mother's Day, enjoy your family, but maybe tomorrow and leave us a review. It really does help to have a lot of reviews for the show and it makes it easier for other survivors to find. If you have your own mom experience that you would like to share with our community. Find me on facebook Laurel hammer on Instagram as the breast cancer recovery coach and share your comments and stories, I'd love to hear them. And one final note, my new website is finally up finally finished and you can go on over there. Download my new free guide, care four steps to healing after breast cancer. Re vivify program is up. That's my seven day program that takes care into an even deeper level, and gives you a program to work every single day with videos, worksheets, and support that are offered to you. And the exciting thing is, I'm going to be giving away five scholarships to read vivify. And I want you to have a chance to get one of those scholarships. So make sure that you're on the email list because I'm going to send out all the details of what this contest is and how you can get a free scholarship to join even with a five. I'll send out the details on Tuesday of this week. So thanks again for listening. Get on over to the website. As soon as you can get on that list so you don't miss out on the chance. Have a Happy Mother's Day and enjoyed this story.

36:13
One story that I remember is that okay, so I gotta back up a little bit. Our father was an LA County Sheriff, he worked nights for 20 years, God, at least right? So I remember him like leaving at like, it's just our 11 o'clock at night and he would leave and you know, his white t shirt and his shirt. And I remember him coming home in the morning and he'd walk in and put his gun on top of the refrigerator. The refrigerator had boyfriends. Yeah, we had loaded guns all through our house with five girls and we all knew how to shoot them too. Okay, so anyways, back to your story is I do remember Laura going through treatment. And it was different than when Randy was going through treatment where pot wasn't legalized yet, but we knew that it would help you and it could help you through treatment and not be you know, sick to your stomach and everything. And our other

37:09
sister was a huge advocate because her friends had used edibles or things like that to help them through so kind of became I don't remember who it was right. And

37:17
so I know that you were you were divorced at this time you're living in your own condo, you could do whatever the hell you wanted if you want to smoke on the patio because one other patio. And I remember mom calling me and telling me, Dana Dana, who's our sister Dana said that Lauren needs a smoke pot because it's going to help her get through her nausea and, and I told Ron, our dad, you know, she needs to, she needs to have this pot because it's going to help her not be sick. And it's going to help her get through this this period. And I just remember my mom telling me that dad said, God damn it, I have spent my whole life trying to keep this this stuff off the streets. And now here I am buying it for my daughter, and I can't believe I'm putting this into the world again. And they gotta renew that so maybe they share that with you because they didn't want to stress you out. But well I remember

38:17
Dana giving me an edible at one point and it stunk so bad and you're so sensitive to everything when you come along. I was like this is so sneaky I can't even bring myself to get near it. It was horrible.

38:37
You've heard your courage to the test laid all your doubts your mind is clearer than before your heart is full and wanting more your futures all you know you've been waiting on

39:06
this