#364 Breast Cancer and Mental Health Breaks - Calm Your Mind to Support Your Body

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I don’t know about you, but when the world feels overwhelming and stressful, I know it’s time to step back and take a mental health break. We all know how challenging life can get, and sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is take a breather.

In this episode, I dive into how to recognize when you need a break and, just as importantly, how to permit yourself actually to take one. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, but taking a moment to pause and recharge is vital for our mental and emotional well-being.

I also talk about the impact of constantly consuming news and social media. It's no secret that the news can be heavy and often leaves us feeling drained. So, I share some tips on taking breaks from these sources or being intentional about following accounts that bring positivity and uplift our spirits. Our social media feeds can be a source of inspiration and joy if we curate them mindfully.

Another key point is the importance of connecting with others. Whether it's family, friends, or support groups, surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people can make a difference. It's about finding that balance and protecting our mental health.

So, if you're feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, or you need some tips on how to take better care of your mental health, this episode is for you. Tune in, take a break, and give yourself the love and care you deserve.

Referred to in this episode:

The Better Than Before Breast Cancer™ Life Coaching Membership

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Read the full transcript:

0:00
You're listening to better than before breast cancer with the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm your host, Laura Lummer. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm a breast cancer thriver. In this podcast, I will give you the skills and the insights and the tools to move past the emotional and physical trauma of a breast cancer diagnosis. If you're looking for a way to create a life, that's even better than before breast cancer, you've come to the right place. Let's get started.

0:33
Hey, there friends, you're listening to Episode 364 have better than before breast cancer. I'm your host, Laura Lummer. And I am happy to be here with you today. I want to invite you to join me for one minute here in the beginning of this podcast, just stop what you're doing just for a sec. Just take a deep breath in.

0:56
And let it all out.

0:59
I think that sometimes we need to take a break. And right now, this has been a big week. There's a lot of heaviness in the world. There's a lot going on.

1:13
And when we are trying to take care of ourselves, we have to acknowledge that there are stressors in the world. And sometimes, and I'm just talking about general stressors that all of us could turn on the news right now and see. And you may have even more going on in your personal life. In fact, I'm sure you do.

1:34
And I think so often, we just try to push through.

1:39
Now there are times when things have to be taken care of when we do have to get through things. But there are other times when we have to recognize that there's a moment to create some space, and that you need to take those moments. You know, in our environment in our country right now, there's a lot lot going on. But also this week, the news of the death of Shannon Doherty, I think weighs heavily on this community and a lot of this community.

2:12
And it's important to recognize that although we all feel empathy, and sadness at the loss of someone young and talented and inspirational and lovely, that we have to be cautious not to make that story. Your story. It's very easy to do. Very easy. I'm and happened not that long ago with Olivia Newton, John. And anytime I think we see a celebrity death from breast cancer. And we're someone who's had a diagnosis of breast cancer. Our brains very naturally go there and say, oh my god, what if that's me, what if I'm next. And so in those times, it's important again, I think that mental break that step back that moment to take a breath, and to remind yourself that your story is your own. That even though it's easy to relate to someone else's stories, and and sometimes we feel like we know people because they're celebrities, maybe you listened to Shannon Doherty's podcast, maybe I know she had a lot of followers, maybe you follow her on social media. And so you felt like you knew this person. But we don't really know people. And we don't know all the ins and outs of what's happening. And we don't know everything they're doing and what they're exposed to and, and what they're facing. And so, again, we have to be really careful not to weave our story into someone else's story. We have to be careful to stay in our own lane, and recognize that we have a lot of power over our body over our house. Not complete power, right? We can't we're not magical, maybe we can't fix everything. If we did, we would be able to steer to clearly state, there's a cure. And no one can say that right? No one can say there's a cure, not on the naturopathic side of the world, not on the standard of care side of the world, nobody's going to step forward and say, here's a cure. Wherever we go, they're like, let's try this. Let's try that. Let's tweak this. Let's try that. And so that's where our power lies, right in listening to our body. And committing to the practices that are valuable for us that are often challenging for us the behavior changes that we can make, but stepping into the power we have over ourselves is critical. And I think that taking some space and reminding yourself that you do have power, and that you do have your own story is very, very important. Because our mental health, our emotional health, the amount of stress we create for ourself, is huge when it comes to the impact it can have on our health. So in times, like this week, where there's a lot going on, where there are a lot of stressors and there are a lot of ideas and there are a lot of beliefs and there are just a lot of mean things that people say and not not just this week but a

5:00
A lot right in this world. And especially when it comes to social media, we can just get so drawn into this. And then we start developing these ideas of, I hear this all the time I hear people say, oh, people suck. Oh, people are this and people are that. And

5:16
we have to recognize that that impacts our health, negativity, negative thoughts, negative emotions, trauma, sadness, all of this affects our health just as much as the food we put in our body. We talk about reducing the toxic burden on people on ourselves on our bodies. And when we think that way, we have toxic thoughts, toxic emotions that impact us. So what does it mean to take a mental health break? And how do you know that you need it? And what does it take to give yourself permission to take it? So when when I was growing up as a young adult in the in the corporate world, right in the work world, that was in the night, late 1970s, throughout the 1980s, and you just showed up no matter what, right? You got your butt to work, if you wanted to promote? If you wanted to grow if you wanted to climb the ladder? You showed up? You did? overnighters, you did overtime. You didn't ask for compensation. I'm not saying this is right. I'm just saying this is the world the work world I grew up in. You did overnighters. You stepped up anyone wanted you for extra, you stayed late, you came in early, you came in sick, you came in with a fever, like you came in on your deathbed. I mean, it was crazy when I look back. And I think about the situations and the physical situations that I and the people I worked with, came into work under these situations, circumstances. And I think that was madness. But also, I remember when this term started to come into the work world, this term of mental health day, I'm taking a mental health break, or I need a mental health day. And I remember when I first started hearing, I just thinking, What in the world are you talking about? It was so foreign to me. Right? I was conditioned, that a good work ethic means Work comes first. Always. That's the way my dad taught me. That's the way I was raised. And that's what I believed that it was always whatever you had to do to show up for work, then, thank God as I got smarter and older, and I started to realize like, Okay, this mental health thing. That's important. And today, I will tell you, that mental health days, mental health breaks, mental health awareness is equally as important as anything to do with physical health. And we have to realize all the things that impact our mental health. And you know, we have to be careful, because when we go to thinking mental health, I think we we gravitate towards the idea of diagnose diseases, and of course, that's mental health. But that's I'm not even talking to that extreme. I think we get used to toxic mental health states unhealthy mental health states. And we think that they're normal. Like, we just have to push through them. And this is just the way that it is. And I would offer that that's just not true. You know, that there are times when we have to realize things are too much. And we have to stop. I got a text message earlier today from my daughter, and she had a little laughing emoji next to it. And she says, I need a Xanax. I mean, funny. But is it? Is it funny when you notice that you're under so much stress and you're feeling so stressed? And then we just think this is something we have to deal with in the world of work, or even just in our personal lives. Now, of course, I'm going to acknowledge that there are times when there's a lot going on, and we do have to get through it, right we do. But even then, when we have to like really dig down and get through something. Maybe on the other end of that we say now I need a break. Now I need to assess now I need to process now I need a moment. And it is important for our brain, that organ of our brain. It is important for us to tune out. This is why being in nature is so important. This is why getting outside every day is a practice you must incorporate in your life. You've got to get outside every day. Even if it's super hot right now get up earlier, go out in the morning, stay up a little later go out in the evening when the sun goes down. But get outside, get some fresh air, get your feet on the ground. It is so important to give our brain that break. And it's also important to recognize when we've got to turn off the TV when we've gone to either get away from the social media or be intentional about the boundaries with social media. Be intentional about the fact that you're not going to read the comments

10:00
because you know there's nothing good in them. Or you're not going to look at I unfollow accounts all the time. And sometimes I just wonder how certain accounts was even got in my thread and like, what is this? Where did this come from unfollow, unfollow, I blocked people. I unfollow people, I get a negative comment. I don't even bother to respond, unfollow, I'm done. I don't want that in my life. And I get to choose my boundaries and what I allow in to my mind, and even things like what we expose our minds to, you know, growing up, I've always loved psychological thrillers, horror movies, things like that. And throughout my life, I've had people say, like, why would you put something like that in your mind. And for a long time, it didn't make sense to me. But especially over the last several years, I certainly do notice that when there's a lot around a lot of stressors that I'm trying to manage, maybe even just something really positive that I'm trying to create, because positive things can be stressors, also, right? Their challenges, but they have positive outcomes. So whether it's things you're dealing with that are negative, or whether it's things you're trying to create that are positive, but create many things that you have to deal with and can create stressors for you. It's important to recognize those things. And to recognize that emotional energy is real. And it takes emotional energy to manage these things, to deal with these things, to create things, to draw boundaries to uphold boundaries, it takes mental energy, and it can be exhausting. So what we allow ourselves to see and what information we allow into our brain can have a big impact on that. So when we're noticing that it's taking all you have all the mental energy, you have to manage whatever it is you're managing, it's really important to consider what you're putting in your brain. Are you putting in something that creates more inspiration, more motivation, more positive energy? Are you putting in things that drag you down even more? Right? I'll give you an example. In our book club, I'm in a book club. And every month we choose a different book. And the book of this month is just been really tough for me to get into. It's kind of magic, it's kind of mystery, it's kind of who done it and it's kind of dark, and it opens up really dark. And I think that was the thing that sent me off when the opening of the book, it was kind of gross, you know, kind of gory. And I just noticed that I just didn't want that. You know, I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear the descriptions of it. It just didn't sit well with me. And I gravitated more back towards these books that I'm reading that I love. But Ellen it's e l i n i think it's Ellen Hildebrand, which are all of these either they're whodunits, but they're light hearted, and they're beach books, and they're written on Nantucket Island, or about Nantucket Island, and they just are lighter and more fun to read. And they make me want to go to Nantucket Island. And so I have noticed that I don't I don't want this darker, heavier theme in my brain right now. Because there's too many other things with that energy going on around me. When I'm at home, my husband, at the end of the day, he likes to sit down and turn on the news or turn on these YouTube podcasts or shows or interview things that he watches. And in our in our home, that common space is all kind of one big area of a kitchen, living room dining room all together. So when he's got the TV on, and I'm preparing food, I can hear it. So I just have to put my air pods in and say, I can't I can't take it. I can't hear 100,001 descriptions of the same negative thing over and over and over again, like I've got all the info I need up to date on current events. And now I'm choosing to turn it off, because it feels too heavy. And I'm very sensitive to that emotion now, with my focus being on supporting my body's ability to heal when I feel that heaviness. mentally, emotionally, physically, I know that my body is experiencing stress, right? Your body sends these signals in the feeling of mental or physical heaviness, lethargy, right, the kind of this

14:12
What is it just lack of motivation to move through something get up, go do something, be noticed those kinds of energies, realize that that is impacting you. And now you have choices that you're going to have to make to move past it. I was at Bunco last night. If you're familiar with Bunco, it's a dice game with with 12 women and we've been playing it my Bunco group for 25 years, maybe more. And there was just a common thought last night that people express which was just like we need some more kindness, right there's too much meanness going on right now. There's too many mean things being said. And I think back and a lot lately and I reflect on when I was growing up and there was a rule. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Right and I think maybe we moved

15:00
Start incorporating that rule a little more. And maybe we should figure out how to say things. I'm not saying don't express ourselves. But can we express ourselves in constructive ways. And I just, I wanted to address this on today's show, because I see this weighing heavily on a lot of people. And if you're in this community, if you're in this breast cancer population, we've, maybe you're getting just diagnosed, maybe you're going through treatment, maybe you're just out of treatment, and all the trauma of treatment is starting to hit you, maybe your years out, but you're still processing this underlying fear of getting cancer or you're trying to get your life on the right path to make it healthy and support yourself. But you're facing challenges. All these are stressors. And I just cannot overemphasize the importance of mental health breaks and mental health care and awareness for you. The other day, I just in the middle of the afternoon, I had quite a lot to do. And I just looked at the calendar and I knew I need to stop, I need a break. I could feel I'm just I'm pushing a lot. My calendar has been very busy, and leaving on a big amazing trip in three weeks. So I'm trying to get a lot done ahead of time. And I've had a lot of clients book and I just, I had about an hour and a half. And also what I noticed was because I literally live by my calendar, everything goes in my calendar. And this weekend, and on a two days ago, I missed two important events, I put them on the wrong day, like I screwed up my calendar, which is very unlike me, and I just had to say, Okay, there's too much going on in my mind right now, I need a break, I'm leashing up the dogs, and I'm walking over to the beach, and I'm just I'm going to be out in the sun. I'm not bringing a phone, I'm not worrying AirPods I'm not listening to anything, I just need my brain to check out to give it some space to take in some fresh air and just to be in the moment. So I just think this is so important to know right now, when there's a lot going on around you a lot going on in the world. And if you're sensing lots of negative heavy energy, then you get to decide to be kinder to yourself. And I think that when we're kinder to ourselves, this is another thing that I see a lot of people will be like, I gotta push through, I gotta push through. And when we push through, we wear ourselves down. Think about the language we use. I'm worn out, I'm threadbare, I don't have anything left, I'm empty, I'm out of gas. Think about the ways you refer to the way you feel the terminology that you use and give that some weight. Think about refilling yourself because we think we have to push through things. And when we do that, and we're at the end of our rope, right, we another term that's used frequently, we don't show up well, we don't show up well for ourselves, that's when we started turning to look for the nearest candy bowl, or some sugary thing that we call a treat. And we tell ourselves we need to treat or maybe putting more alcohol into our system. Because we want to numb this feeling of being overwhelmed and feeling stressed. But there's a much simpler, healthier solution. And that's actually stop, stop and take care of yourself, take something off the calendar, call and cancel an appointment, push it out for two weeks, isn't really going to be the end of the world. If you move some things around. When you notice, you need a break. So my friends, this show, that's really the only message I want to give you. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself with kindness, give yourself space. Give yourself what you need. And notice what you need. And don't judge it. And don't condemn it. And don't say it shouldn't be and don't think I should get through it. Right notice what actually is happening. Notice where you're actually at, and what you have the ability or where you have the ability to carve out 10 minutes, 15 minutes, maybe a whole day, maybe a weekend, maybe a week. I have a friend right now. And she's with her family on this annual vacation they take to this incredibly beautiful spot in Oregon. And I've just been watching her post pictures of you know, walking to the farmers markets and just hanging out in the forest with their kids and the beach with their husband. And these things are so critically important for us to do. All right. So this podcast comes out. It's July, it's summertime, the sun is out it's hot. Kids are out of school, grandkids are out of school. Maybe it's time to support your health by connecting to yourself and just people that you love and just spending time enjoying each other. Spending time enjoying yourself and noticing where you have created boundaries as the input that you will allow in your brain and how it may be affecting the level of stress that you're experiencing.

20:00
Now, the quality of sleep that you're getting, because of your mind raising and the quality of your relationships, when you don't take time to take good care of yourself, and you feel like you're at the end of your rope. All right, friends, you know,

20:14
in the month of August, so starting in, I don't know, what is it a week, two weeks, the whole month is going to be focused on radical self care in the better than before breast cancer membership. Because I think we need it. I think everybody needs it right now, I think we need to dive into being super intentional, about caring with kindness for ourselves and the world and the people around us. So if this sounds good to you, and you want every day and you know what motivated this is, I am leaving for like the trip of a lifetime this dream that I have manifested and it is all about self care. And it is it is prioritizing self care to the highest degree I've ever have in my life. I'm going to be heading to the Maldives, where I spent eight days with Naisha winters, Dr. Nisha winters and her team from the metabolic train Institute of Health, learning about healing, focusing on healing, working with doctors and advocates and learning more and understanding more about supporting my body's ability to heal. And you know, it's been quite a ride in quite a story. And I'm so excited. And I'm so proud of myself from making commitment to decide that this was important enough to do anything I had to do to make it happen. And that's why I thought, You know what, that's how I feel about self care right now for my people and my members, and that we really need to be intentional and very, very focused on it, and be kind and loving to ourselves. So in the month of August, even while I'm gone every single day, there's going to be just a tiny little step, something to prompt people something to engage people something to connect to the community with themselves and with their lives and with each other to support this mental health break and intentional loving kindness. So if you're interested that sounds good, go to my website, the breast cancer recovery coach.com Click on coaching and programs and join the better than before breast cancer membership where you get lots of support, lots of insight and tons of tools and information to help you create a life that really and truly is better than before breast cancer. Alright friends, I hope someone needed to hear that as much as I feel like I needed to hear it. I needed to say it. And I hope you take good care of yourself. I'll talk to you soon.

 

 

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