Many times when we begin the process of self-examination, we begin to realize why we have certain behaviors, fears, and resentments.
But knowing why is just the beginning.
Next, you have to learn how to process the pain, understand how it continues to influence you now, and learn how to let it go.
If you don’t do that, you stay stuck because the limiting beliefs from your past negative experiences will stop you in your tracks, and you’ll never learn how to trust the current version of yourself.
In this episode, I’ll share a powerful experience I recently had as I worked on letting go of some of my own limiting beliefs and controlling fears.
I’ll walk you through that process, tell you what I learned and offer you a new visual that will hopefully lead you to trust yourself more by the end of the show.
Referred to in this episode:
Read the full transcript here:
You're listening to the breast cancer recovery coach podcast. I'm your host, Laura Lummer. I'm a Certified Life health and nutrition coach, and I'm also a breast cancer thriver. If you're trying to figure out how to move past the trauma and the emotional toll of breast cancer, you've come to the right place. In this podcast, I will give you the tools and the insights to create a life that's even better than before breast cancer. Well, let's get started.
Hello, hello, welcome to episode 228 of the breast cancer recovery coach podcast. I am your host, Laura Lummer. And I got to tell you, I'm so excited to do this episode, because I had something happened for me the other day. And you know, it's one of those things where, like, it happens. And it's such a meaningful moment for you that you just want to call your best friend and say, oh my gosh, this just happened. And honestly, had I had the time to do a podcast recording. When I had this experience, I would have jumped on and just recorded right then and there because I just thought, Wow, this was so cool. And this was just such an amazing awareness and realization for me that I just, I couldn't wait to share it. So on today's show, is you me hanging out the girls, and I'm going to talk to you and tell you, like I just called my best friend. This is what happened. And it was so freakin cool. And I hope that when I share it with you, it means something meaningful or gives you an insight or gives you something to consider and to play with and to think perhaps adopting this mindset in your life might bring you more cohesiveness, more authenticity, more peace, and feeling the way that you want to feel. So before I jump into it, I am going to tell you something that I'm also very, very excited about. And I created this after the experience I'm going to share with you. And that experience is what led me to do this. What I have created is two whole new ways to experience the better than before breast cancer life coaching membership. So you can go to the breast cancer recovery coach.com forward slash life coaching. And you're gonna find three ways now that you can experience the life coaching, membership. And there are three different ways different access comes with each way. And so let me tell you a little bit about it. The very first level is the most inexpensive for only $37 a month, you can access all of the recordings, all of the action guides all of the course material inside the better than before breast cancer life coaching membership. So this is a really valuable tool, I think it's a good place to start. If you think wow, I need something but I just I'm not really sure I understand this life coaching thing. And I'm definitely not comfortable. Because a lot of people say to me, you know, I listened to you for a long time, but I was really intimidated about having a face to face interaction. And ah, I wish you were because there's nothing I love more than face to face interactions. And there's nothing more important to me than creating a safe space for every woman who comes to me for support and coaching. So know that right off the top. Like there's nothing to be afraid of when you come into any of my programs. And there's a space for you to have a live interaction and a live coaching call for me, it can be a game changer for you. But if you're unsure, I get it. And so now you can explore the life coaching membership, through all the recordings, which everything I do every interaction, every workshop, every coaching session, all of those things are recorded. And they are put in a very easy to navigate beautiful member website. And so that entry level into life coaching membership, you can access those recordings, you can access those action guides, and I lead you through them. So there's a tremendous amount of value in that. Another level is now $67. And for that price, you get access to all the recordings, but you also get access to two live coaching calls a month. So you get to come in with a small group. And you get it listen, you don't have to be coached. So if you're intimidated, don't worry about it. You don't have to be coached, but you get to be there and be live and I'm telling you I hear all the time from other women. Well, hearing someone else get coached was such a powerful experience for me. Because oftentimes we think things we do things and we tell ourselves this is just me. I'm so silly. I'm so crazy. I'm just broken. And then we hear someone else share their experience. You're like whoa, what the heck. That wasn't just me. I'm not alone, someone else things like that. And I've shared with my members before
I'll say to them, I wish that I could reassure everybody that whenever a thought comes to your head, if it's followed by oh my god, I'm so crazy. Oh my god, I'm so neurotic. Oh my god, I'm so weird that you hear my voice next saying, No, you're not, you have a human brain. And we all do that. We all have self doubt, we all have fear. We all are hard on ourselves, we all criticize ourselves. You are not alone, you are not crazy. It's just a human brain throwing out random thoughts and self judgments, because it's untrained. And going through life coaching. And doing the work in the life coaching is how you train your brain is how you become the observer. And the person who consciously rationally makes a decision to say, Whoa, hey, brain, I see you just through that thought out there. And no, thank you, I'm not getting on that train with you. I'm now going that way. So at the second level of membership, you get access to to live coaching calls. And then with the creme de la creme, which is the membership that I currently offer and have been offering for some time, it's $97 a month, you get access to everything, you get first priority to everything that I do, you get four group coaching calls a month, and you get two times a month where I offer Private 20 minute sessions for my clients. So you can just get on with me for a quick 20 minute tune up on what you want to achieve what you're going through a tool, you may need help with anything. And for each level, you also when you become a member, get a discount on future private sessions that you book with me. So I do offer one on one coaching, private coaching. And those are 55 minute long calls. And as a member, depending on which level of membership you are, you will get a different discount for those personal private coaching sessions with me. So I'm very excited to offer that to you. Because for a long time now, I have wanted to think of something, offer something reach more women. And hence here we go into what happened and what this powerful experience was. So it's always been my intention to reach as many survivors and support as many women as I possibly can.
But I have my own thoughts and my own doubts. And as any of you who've listened to this podcast know, my main priority in life is supporting my body's ability to heal from stage four breast cancer. And that's non negotiable, the time that I have, and that I need. And as I figure out, to work on the practices that I have to support my body's ability to heal, that's the most important thing to my life, because I don't have a life if I don't do those things. And speaking of those things, just a quick side note, today, I am so happy to announce that I got yet another round of stable CT scans. All good. And you know, I am coming up on the two and a half year mark since being diagnosed with widespread metastatic disease. So to see a reduction from when I was very first diagnosed, I'm in an improved state from that and continuing to remain stable is just fantastic. It's fantastic news. It's a gift every single day. So I've shared that with you. But this was one of my thoughts. So I'm thinking, Okay, I've got these programs, I've got 90 days of wellness, I've got becoming you. I've got the life coaching membership. And many people think that when you have an online business, that is there's like, oh my god, that's so easy. I want to have an online business because like, basically, you just show up online and talk like you don't have to do anything. And that is far, far, far from the truth. There's a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes to produce a podcast to create courses to support clients, all the things, there's a lot of time that it requires a lot of effort and a lot of creativity and a lot of support that I need to get from other people to make things happen. And a lot of expense on the back end as well. And so as I'm thinking, Alright, how do I support more people and still give priority to what is most important to me right to my whitespace to my time that I spent supporting my body. And that includes time with my loved ones free time, exercise time, all of that.
And I had this feeling in my solar plexus, I could feel it. It was this heaviness. And the other day would happen is I'm sitting in a meditation because I had come to this point where I was like, Okay,
this has to change. I have a major block here. There's something I want to accomplish. But there is something holding me back and I can feel it I can feel it right there in my solar plexus which is you know, that chakra that's like the chunk the yellow chakra the one that's just like power and
connection and what we do in the world and how we connect to other people. And I could feel this heaviness and this block there. And I knew for some time, one of the things that I needed to work on, and one of those things were I would notice is that money would come up a lot. So I have a background only. So I would say that my financial upbringing was one of a lot of scarcity. And that does not mean that I ever went without, it means that in my home where I was raised, the mindset around money was there won't be enough, or there isn't enough. And we can't afford that. And you shouldn't want that. And you don't need to have those things, you have plenty because you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table, which is plenty, right. But behind that it was an energy of, I could put that in two different ways, right? I could say, your life is so full and abundant. You've got clothes on your back clean clothes every day, you've got food on the table, you're healthy, you've got a warm, beautiful, safe home, that feels different, doesn't it? Then you're fine. You shouldn't want anything else. You've got a roof over your head and food on the table. Can you hear and feel the energy one of scarcity one of abundance. And so I when I left home, it was a few days I got married a few days before I turned 18 years old. I knew nothing. I knew nothing. I thought I knew everything. I knew nothing. I knew nothing about life. And I knew Double X, nothing about managing money. So growing up in my early years in my long after I turned 18 And then through my 20s. And in my early 30s I always struggled to manage money. And I was married to a partner who was very deceitful when it came to money. And it created a tremendous amount of suffering and problems for me and for us throughout our lives. And so more scarcity, right? More fear more scarcity, feelings of powerlessness. And I'm gonna come around like you think he was this a financial show? No, it's all gonna make sense here in a minute. And so I've carried this with me this scarcity, for a long time. And several years ago, I started working on it intentionally because I started to notice, but I don't like this feeling. I want a feeling I want a flow of abundance in my life in every possible way, and then includes financially, I don't want to be limiting myself. And yet, this feeling was fierce, strong, right? There's many, many years of scarcity, and have negative experiences and painful experiences, connected with finances, in my life, in my past, in my past life, in my early life in my young life. And so then I decided I'm going to change this. And I distinctly remember this one day thinking, I'm not going to say I'm not good with money ever again, those words are not going to leave my mouth, I am only going to say, I am an excellent money manager, I am so good with money, money and Abundance flows to me, I am not going to use scarcity language anymore with money, I distinctly remember that day. And I decided, Okay, I'm gonna learn more about money, I'm going to figure this out, I'm going to be so good at this. And it's been many years of focusing on that and going through that process. And in that amount of time. It's like peeling back an onion. And more and more and more, I feel this scarcity come up. And the reason why it's a problem is because it stops me from doing things I really want to do in life. It stops me from moving in taking that next step, that risk and that risk that will lead to something amazing that I want to create, because fear and scarcity will come up. And so this has been happening a lot lately. And I'll tell you why. Because I want to grow this program, I want to serve more women, I want to reach more women. And then there's that feeling that comes up. It's like, okay, that's going to be more expense, that's going to cost money on the back end to make this happen. And then more thoughts come in about Ooh, what happens when you put out a lot of money, right? And what does this mean? And what can this business sustain? And all of those thoughts start to come up. And I can feel this in my solar plexus I can feel this heaviness that I would describe like, okay, let's think of a chakra. So if you're not familiar with the chakra, think about your solar plexus. And this is the way I envision a chakra this moving disk of beautiful glowing light, and the color for the solar plexus chakra is yellow. So I imagined this beautiful vibrant yellow light glowing from my solar plexus.
I feel that like power and energy, that glow coming from me. And in my mind, probably just because I like sparkles I see like flecks of sparkling little glittery white lights, also in this yellow. And that's how I envision that energy center in my body. Well, when I'm having this feeling of this heaviness when I'm considering doing something in life, and the fear comes up from my past, and the traumas come up from my past, I don't see that vibrant yellow light. And this came to me as I was working on this the other day, because I thought, Okay, I've got to sit down. And I've got to go into some serious quiet space of meditation here and process, what this feeling is in, like, notice it and get my arms around it and get to know it, because I need to understand it, so that I can let it go. Because I don't want it to hold me back any more. So I sat there. And I was just thinking, like, what is the feeling? If I could, if I could put words to the sensation in my chest? What am I feeling I thought, I'm feeling cold, it's cold, it's heavy. And it's not this bright, glowing light. It's this dark, like a heavy gunmetal color. And that's how I describe it. Think of it like a metal disc and it feels cold. And all I can see if I try to envision that chakra is a little bit of yellow light around the edges of this dark, heavy cold disk. And as I sat there with it, and I just breathed into it, and I'm just telling myself, like, it's okay, like, stay here with it, stay with it, it didn't feel good. I gotta tell you, it didn't feel good to try to notice this, it felt heavy and very weighted down and a little bit scary. And I thought, Oh, this feeling but I also was very committed. And that moments like, I am, okay, I got this. There's nothing to fear here. There's just emotions. They're uncomfortable, but I got it. I can experience uncomfortable emotions. I have to keep understanding this. And as I sat there, and I breathe into it, breathe into it. What else comes to me? What is my body telling me? What can I feel? What can I know? What can I understand here.
And I started to feel like a little bit more looseness in my chest as this thought came up of me as a young girl. And I can visualize this and I could hear my mom yelling, you know, shut off, the lights are gonna take out. And, you know, in that moment, I saw like this really scared child.
And I thought it's okay. You know, it's okay. I'm here. Now I'm good. I get it understand why she was scared because you didn't know shit about money. And it sounded like a scary thing. And I was being told scary things. And I could see myself as a young mom, as a young 20 year old, I could feel the anxiety and the fear because I knew finances were important. But I didn't know what that meant. No one ever told me no one ever taught me money was a secret in my house, except to be afraid of. I sat there and I was breathing into it. And I could feel this like young woman thinking, you know, I feel like there's so much life and so much I want in life, but I just I don't know how to do this. And I'm scared, and financial things are going wrong. And it's scary and it doesn't feel good. And, again, feel powerless. And I could notice that and I was thinking it's okay, I get it. There was there was reason for that in that past self. There was reason for that. Then, you know, I was a single mom for many years. And there were times where I struggled financially a lot. And I just like noticed all of that was coming up, you know, all that was coming up. But as it was coming up, that feeling of this dark, cold heavy metal is in the center of my chest in my solar plexus, it started to get a little less heavy.
And I started to think about why cuz I could feel like a little more lightness here and I can visualize a little more lightness. So like instead of a big heavy metal door that's like this hurricane shutter that's going to come down over the window of my solar plexus. I feel like maybe it's a bamboo shade, there's some light coming through. And I just sat there with it. And I breathed into it and I meditated on this for a long time.
Until I started feeling like really emotion like tears were coming down my face. I wasn't sobbing or anything but I just noticed emotion coming up, fear coming up, and fear letting go. And I noticed a little bit of a release in my chest and a little bit more of a release and a little bit more of release. And then I thought holy moly, I get it. I get it. This is where I need to be. Here I am and I speak about this on the podcast sometimes right I say I refer to
Your past version of yourself and your future version of yourself. And in that moment, I was like, Oh my God, I am the link. Right now today me here sitting in this meditation, I'm the link
from my past self, to my future self. But I'm so my past self is like, holding on to my ankles in saying, No, that's scary, don't go forward, look at all the bad things that have happened when you've taken risks like that. And my current self is saying, You know what, let me just put this metal lid on her. Because I get really anxious, and I started feeling really uncomfortable when her voice starts to come up. And so let me just put a lid on that. But as long as I have that, it's still there, it's not processed the thoughts, I'm telling myself the fear the feeling, it's still there. And so when I sit down to do something that's going to move me forward in life, to face it, to address it to get the support, I need to create what I need. I don't do it.
Because the heaviness is there. There's no openness. You know, there's there's no space in me to bring in the creativity and the newness because there's so much I don't want to look at.
And in that moment, I thought, Oh, my God, all I need to do and I had this visual.
It's like when I took my kids when they were little. And the very first time I took each of them, they were five years old each time I took them to Disneyland, because for me, you got to be at least five to appreciate Disneyland. And it's way too expensive to bring somebody who's two years old and has no idea what they're even experiencing. And they just cry because they're hungry all day. So anyway, I digress a little bit, but there's a reason for it. When you take your little kid to the first amusement park, and you're going to take them on a roller coaster with it, it's kid bill, it's kid roller coaster. It's not like something extreme. It's not the Tower of Terror. And yet, they're so scared, because they've never been on a roller coaster. And your little kid is there and they're holding your hand. And I know, I'm scared, I'm scared. And you're seeing there and you're saying to them, sweetheart,
you know, I would never do anything that could hurt you, right?
Oh, my God, I'm emotional. As I even say this, because that's what was happening to me when I was in this moment, too. And I think there's those times where we've got to look at our past self. We've got to look at where we're allowing the experiences our past self has brought to life, our experiences our past self has been through. And we have to hold a space for her and say, Sweetheart, I got you. I was there with you. I learned that. But I'm never going to do something intentionally, that's going to cause harm to you. Right? I got this. And I'm safe. And we're going to take this one step at a time. And I'm going to be looking out for us. And we're gonna be safe, and we're going to be fine. And we might be uncomfortable. And it might be scary. And fear might come up because we'll remember times that were hard. But in this moment, we're good. And if you're on this roller coaster with me, if you hold my hand, and you trust me, when we get off that roller coaster, you're gonna want to go on it again, as each of my children did, right, when we stood in line, and I would say to them, Listen, do you want to do this? And they'd say, Yes. And then they'd get closer to the front of the line. And if you've been to Disneyland, you know, a Disneyland line is not a short thing. And I hate standing in line and always have. And I would tell my kids, when we get to the front of that line, there's no going back, because I knew by the time we got to the front of the line, they'd hear people screaming on the inside, who were already on the roller coaster. And then they'd freak out and they'd be like, I don't want I don't want to do this. This is too scary. And I would tell them once we get in that line, we don't get out. Are you sure? Okay, I got you kid. And we'd go on that roller coaster. And they would scream from the moment it took off to the moment it came back. And then they would look at me and say can I do it again?
And in that moment, I thought that's exactly where I'm at in life. I've got to stop letting the past version of myself that has these limiting beliefs. Keep me from going through that line. keep me from getting on that roller coaster. Keep me from taking that next step to the thing I want for myself in my life and what I need it
is to trust myself. I need to hold myself in a place of trust. And say, of course I trust you, Laura, Laura, this is your dream. The dream is the roller coaster, right? Because we never know what it's gonna feel like until we get on it. And we're going to scream the hallway, and there's going to be uncomfortable things and scary things. But the dream is out there. And it's going to be exciting, and scary and difficult. But as long as we stand outside the line, holding that little girl's hand, we'll never get on the roller coaster. We'll never experienced the dream. We'll never become the future version of ourselves. Who gets off the roller coaster and says, hell yeah, let's do that, again. I got this, I can do this. And you know, in that when I was going through in that space, and all of this visualization was coming to me and all this awareness, and I tell you, it's just like going from a heavy cold metal feeling in my chest to just this lightness and openness and being able to feel that light energy coming from me. And I had this picture come to my head of my future version of myself. And it was like this really badass white suit like totally tailored, looking good. And just coming in, right? She's the one that gets off the roller coaster. And she's like, oh, yeah, I got this. Moving on to the Tower of Terror. Taking the next step in life. I'm done being in kiddie land, right. And the visualization from I don't know if you ever watched Queen of the South but the the Teresa is the main character in Queen of the South. And she wears these what she's either white or black and white. I think there must be like some message that we're trying to send like because she here she is this person who loves the people she loves and, and would do anything for the people she loves and has a lot of kindness in our but at the same time, she's a badass drug dealer cartel leader and does a lot of violent things that is not at all how we see myself. I'm just saying that, that when you watch that show, and you see her come out in those suits are like, Oh, she's got her power suit on. She's ready. She's so ready. But she's been through hell have you ever watched as your as you've been through hell to get to the power suit. And I just had a flash of that in that moment. I was like, have the power suit, you know, and he can see all these versions of yourself and start to notice that we bring into this current moment. So much fear, trauma, limiting beliefs, conditioned thoughts. From times we didn't, people made fun of us. You know, people teased us, we got traumatic news, we had financial devastation so much.
But we learned as we went through all those, and now we get to this moment, and we have to say,
I gotta learn to trust myself. I've got to hold my own hand and say, I've got you. I know it's scary. I got you. We're gonna get whatever support we need. Whatever help we need on here for you, you can trust me, I would never do something intentionally to cause you pain.
And now we just got hold that space and notice everything that comes up in it. So that we can then have that openness. Like I just was so excited after that, that literally within 30 minutes of of having this experience, I created those new ways to join the better than before breast cancer membership. I'm like, I'm all in. This is my dream. You know, I have the expiration date. I don't know what it is. But I do know that every day I move closer to that expiration date. So am I going to go with the dream and then I'm going to pick up the little girl who's crying and scary and I'm going to hold her and I'm going to say it's Okay, gotcha. Getting on this roller coaster, and we're going to figure it out because I would never hurt you.
and wallah. Next step taken.
So, to me, obviously, I related this a lot to finances, but hopefully you can relate it to what ever it is in your life. I mean, its finances in one way, but it's so much deeper than that, right? It's the beliefs around the experiences that I had, and how I translated them into today. Me my version of me today. That stops me from becoming that badass woman in that white secret suit. You know, and I just had to make a decision that I was done holding on to that now
Will the fear come up? As I continue to do things? I absolutely will. But I've got a different mindset now on notice when it comes up and I'll say, It's okay. It's okay. It's normal, I get it. But I got you take this next step, just one step, just do this one thing. I got you take a breath. Let's do this together. And wherever you're at in your life,
if you just take that moment for yourself and interest, see, like, where do you feel that in your body? What's stopping you
from living the life you want to live? What's limiting you? What's that feeling that comes up in you that causes you to turn away from what's important, and scroll on Instagram. Right? What stops you from? taking that next step, calling that person having a conversation?
Changing a diet, making a decision, and sends you to the refrigerator looking for Ben and Jerry's? What's the feeling there? Because there's some fear, there's some
resentment, there's something there that if you can start to notice, where's it out in your body? Where do you feel it? Breathe into it? Notice that it's okay, and it's safe. Remind yourself you can experience uncomfortable emotions. The worst that could happen is you feel uncomfortable. The best that can happen is that you can become aware and let go of something that can just open up an entire new energetic pathway seriously, to create that future self that you really truly want.
Okay, my friends. I'm glad I got to share that with you. Because for me, it was just super powerful and still is as I translated to you, I wish I had a box of tissues here where
where I'm recording but I didn't bring them. But I didn't expect a motion to come back up like it did. But this time it's just it's such a good emotion is such a like, wow, it's such a healed emotion. It feels like I finally get it. And because I finally get it, it can't stop me anymore.
So I hope that that helps you in some way. Glad to be here today to share the show with you. I'll talk to you again next week. And until then, Please be good to yourself.