#123 Feeling Good From the Outside In

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The importance of feeling good about yourself internally can’t be overstated, but sometimes it can be easier to start that work from the outside in.  

Beginning a workout program and strengthening your body can help to build and strengthen your confidence. 

Likewise, releasing things in your physical space that keep you stuck can bring up emotions and thoughts that need letting go of as well. 

This week I’ll share my experience on how letting go of things I don’t need or use helps me to love what I deliberately decide I want in my life. 

We’ll also hear from professional stylist Kristie Wood who shares stories and tips on how to let go of what isn’t serving you, and the results she sees in the lives of women she supports in doing this. 

 

Resources: 

The dark side of home: Assessing possession ‘clutter’on subjectivewell-being 

A clean, well-lighted place 

How less clutter can reduce stress 

30-day minimalism game 

Follow Kristie on Facebook 

Follow Kristie on Instagram 

 

 

Download your Closet Audit Checklist

Read Full Transcript Below:

Laura Lummer 0:00
This is Laura Lummer, the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm a healthy lifestyle coach, a clinical Ayurveda specialist, a personal trainer, and I'm also a breast cancer survivor. In this podcast, we talk about healthy thinking and mindfulness practices, eating well, moving your body for health and longevity. And we'll also hear from other breast cancer survivors who have reengaged with life and have incredible stories to share. This podcast is your go-to resource for getting back to life after breast cancer.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the breast cancer recovery coach Podcast. I am your host, Laura Lummer. I could not be happier that you're here with me today. Whether you are a new listener or a returning listener, I have some super exciting news to share right off the bat. And I only have this news because you are listening. And because you come back and you keep listening.

And that news is that this week, this podcast exceeded 100,000 downloads. That is so amazing to me!

I can't even believe that's a real thing, when I think about where I was when I first started this podcast.... thought about doing a podcast... thought about how many women I wanted to reach... how many women I wanted to support... and just you know visualized what this whole thing would look like. And wow, I look back now and see, this shows been downloaded 100,000 times over 100,000 times. And I know it'll only grow from here. So I just want to thank you for your support. Because obviously, I wouldn't still be here if you weren't listening to the show. And I'm so happy to get to be here.

And I'm so happy to get to support other breast cancer survivors. And I know a lot of other people come to the show just because it's really about life. You know, we relate to each other because we are survivors. And some of us are thrivers. And living with cancer. And in treatment, you know, there's a whole range of women who just want to feel connected need to feel connected, want to live a more fulfilling life, work on their thoughts, be in a healthier, happier, more joyful place in this beautiful life.

So thank you, thank you, thank you for being here.

And for those of you that have taken the time to leave a rating or review, thank you even so much more, it just means the world to me and to the show. And if you haven't had the time to do that, I would love it if you could jump in now and just scroll down to wherever you listen to this podcast and hit the rating or leave a quick review. If you have a few minutes. It's it means the world to me, it's really a wonderful thing. And, and I appreciate the time that it takes you to have to do that. So thank you for that.

Alright, let's jump into the show.

So over the past month or so I've shared to some extent the things that I've been wrestling with since receiving a diagnosis of metastatic disease. And interestingly, to me, these phases that I find myself working through are familiar because a lot of things that I find myself up against are similar to what I worked through after my first diagnosis and getting through treatment for that.

I think that the main difference is really, that I'm changing things now based on what I love and what serves me, versus trying to change things that I just refuse to accept. And that's what I was doing the first time around for a long time.

So as an example, I've talked many times about my struggle to lose weight after going through my first go-round of surgeries and treatment, chemo, and all that. And I mean, I worked hard at that, ladies, I mean hard. I beat myself up, I push my body to the limits. I measured food, I condemned medicines that saved my life because I had a gut and they put me into menopause. And that battle to lose weight was an intense fight for a long time for me.

This time, I didn't try to lose weight. I just asked myself as I've shared with you before, every day, what do I need to do to heal my body today? What do I need to do to treat my body with love today? And I'm not only seeing remarkable results with respect to my healing and the drop in my tumor markers and the complete absence of side effects to the medications that I'm on. But I've lost over 20 pounds in the last three months. Virtually without effort. No measuring, no fighting, just checking in with myself and seeing what would make me feel good right now feel good in the sense of feeling well and healthy, right? Not the momentary feel-good of a ding dong, you know, you know what I'm saying. But just doing what I feel compelled to do to love myself, not doing it out of fear of cancer, or fear of death, but out of love, and respect, and the desire to support this body in every way that I can.

So this got me thinking about how I decided to get rid of a certain way of thinking, right, I wanted to feel differently. I didn't want to deal with anger and frustration. I wanted to feel peace. I wanted to create space and time for the healing that I wanted to experience. And I wanted to make sure that I made time only for the things that I love in this life. That includes loving the way I feel. Loving the things I think the company I keep and even the stuff that I have.

So about a week ago, I realized I was kind of unconsciously doing this for the past couple of months. And as I was going through a drawer in my bathroom, I realized I've been throwing away a lot of stuff, moisturizers, and makeup that I bought that I didn't like and I never used but for some reason felt compelled to keep. I got rid of shoes that had a layer of dust on them. Really, how long has it been since I've worn something that has a layer of dust on it? And as I've lost weight, I also caught myself holding on to clothes that are too big for me. Yay. And thinking, well, what if I, you know what, if I gain the weight back, maybe I'll need this seriously, all this time, I wanted to lose weight, and now I have, but I'm holding on to clothes that are too big.

So there was definitely some fear, right fear that I didn't have control over what was happening. And some belief issues that I had to work through behind those thoughts. So I could let go of this stuff. And I could be very present with who I am now. And how I've changed now and what's different for me now.

So I want to be completely present in my life now. And if there's anything that doesn't serve me, or that I don't absolutely love, it's gone. I want it gone. And sometimes that's not easy to do.

But that's the intention.

So this really got me thinking a lot lately about the energy, that clutter and disuse bring into our lives. And whether it's physical clutter, or mental and emotional clutter, meaning all those thoughts that are stuck in your head that you're not getting out of your head that is driving you crazy, that are causing you to feel overwhelmed. That's clutter also.

Now a couple of months ago in my empower membership, we worked on clearing thoughts and beliefs and physical stuff that no longer serves us. And it was amazing how removing the physical clutter brought up powerful emotions. And it's also amazing that once the physical clutter was cleared, there were all these realizations in it released a lot of emotional clutter that goes along with physical clutter. And people started feeling more light and freer and more open to new things.

As far as I'm saying, it's funny reminds me of when I was a kid, Saturday's was the day my dad took care of the yards. And I can remember watching him sit back on the patio with a cup of black coffee and his pall mall non filtered cigarettes after he finished mowing and edging the lawns. And he just watches the sprinklers he watered the lawns. And he'd sit there with this really contented look on his face. He's so appreciated this clean, well-trimmed space that he had created.

And years later, as an adult, I can identify with that sense of satisfaction, you know, after cleaning the house, right when it got out of control, and reorganizing a drawer or the pantry, throwing away that stuff in the very back of the refrigerator shelves that God only knows what was growing in it. But I can also remember very dark times in my life when I was not in a good place and I can distinctly remember things piling up around me.

I can even remember a period of time as a newly divorced single parent shortly after the death of my brother. When I didn't even have the emotional capacity to wheel the big trash cans out to the sidewalk for the pickup day. It was a dark time and in that emotionally unhealthy place, your physical environment starts to reflect it.

So I'm very well aware very firsthand of how entwined our physical and emotional states are. But I want to give you some fascinating study information anyway because I love this stuff.

In a study done by the University of New Mexico and published in the Journal of environmental psychology study was called the dark side of the home, assessing possessions clutter on subjective well being.

So in this study, they surveyed over 1,600 people in the United States and Canada and the population surveyed was primarily women with an average age of 54. And among the fascinating things they discovered, which I'll post a link to in the show notes for this episode, the authors found that and this is a quote, "clutter is often an insidious and seemingly harmless outgrowth of people's natural desire to appropriate their personal spaces with possessions. When clutter becomes excessive, it can threaten to physically and psychologically entrap a person in dysfunctional home environments, which contribute to personal distress, and feelings of displacement and alienation."

So there was also a Princeton University study that was referenced in an article in be well by Stanford University. And that study found that when your environment is cluttered, that chaos actually restricts your ability to focus, it has an impact on the neural connections in your brain. And the clutter limits your brain's ability to process information.

In this study, it said clutter makes you distracted and unable to process information as well as you do in an uncluttered, organized, and serene environment.

Pretty fascinating.

One of the things they did was using functional MRI imaging, and from that, they concluded in the study that you will be less irritable, more productive, distracted less often, and able to process information better in an uncluttered and organized home or office.

So the connection with letting things go physically and mentally, is very strong, letting go of the clutter, right getting rid of things that opens up so much in our physical environment and in our own mind. So it serves our own wellness. And this leads me to the interview you're about to hear, and to the invitation that I want to extend to you.

So as I was looking into this, and I was looking into the energetics and the emotional connection behind releasing things, getting rid of clutter, I came across something called the 30-day minimalism game.

And I thought you know what I like to invite my listeners to join in a little fun for the month of February, and release a lot of stuff and also support each other and what comes up emotionally for us over that 28 days of February, by participating in this challenge together.

And there's no cost to it, it's, it's all you have to do is be in the breast cancer recovery group, which is my free Facebook group. And I'll post a link to it in the show notes for this episode, or you can just search it on Facebook, the breast cancer recovery group. And once you're in that group, I'll be posting every day, here's the way the game works.

Day one, you get rid of, throw away, or sell one thing. Day two, same thing, but with two items, day three, three items. So it accumulates and you sell, toss or donate the number of items that's equal to the date of the month. So by the end of the month, you will have given away or gotten out of your life, almost 400 items that no longer serve you. That's pretty phenomenal.

So I just thought, you know what, this is a great exercise for all of us together, to have some fun, to get rid of some stuff, but to also check out what's going on in our mind when we hold on to stuff and how important release is to our overall well being. I think it'd be great, and I hope you're gonna join me.

I'll talk about it more in a minute. But I want you to hear from Kristie Wood. She is a professional stylist who routinely helps women with closet audits. And she's worked with several of my own members in clearing clutter, and to make sure that they love what they own. And she helps women make decisions on what makes them feel good from the outside in. Right because that can have an impact too.

So full disclosure, Kristie is also my baby sister. And she's also providing a simple tool to help us out with closet audits and clearing clutter and I'll tell you more about that and where you can find it in a few minutes.

But first, let's hear some Professional insights on the benefits of letting go of stuff.

And welcome Kristie to the breast cancer recovery coach, this is not your first rodeo. Not the first time.

Kristie Wood 15:10
Yes, thank you for having me back.

Laura Lummer 15:12
You're welcome. Thanks for being here. And I talked a little bit about what you do professionally. But I would love for you to share with everyone what you do as a stylist, and specifically how you help women to clear space in their lives and why that's an important thing to do.

Kristie Wood 15:31
Definitely, so for me, I'm an Academy stylist, and I work with women and help to dress them and make them feel better, and help style them. But one of the biggest parts of my business is closet audits. And for me, it is okay, first of all, sometimes it's hard to get into somebody's closet because I think, you know, we all are embarrassed, oh my closets a mess. I don't want you to see it. I don't want you to do it. But I just always tell them, it's okay. I don't care. Sometimes my closet is a mess too. Just because I do closet audits doesn't mean my closet isn't a mess. You know, I mean, I work on it. But life happens, right? You're busy throw a pair of shoes back in there, whatever. So sometimes it's hard just to get in because people don't want to show what's really going on, you know, behind closed doors, even though it's just your closet doors, it still overwhelms people.

Just like we don't want people to always know what's going on in our heads. Our head is our virtual closet space.

Might need a little circus song playing while you listen to mine. But I'm just getting in is a big deal. And then once you get in, it needs to it's like anything in life, it has to be broken down in order to fix it, right? I mean, even like a relationship or a marriage. ending you get to the end, you're just like, I can't do it anymore. We got to fix this. And that's kind of how it is with the closet audit, you go in, I pull everything out of the closet laying on the bed and the right there. I know I get a lot of you to know, but you can't if you're just going through hanger and hanger like, Oh, I wore that. No, maybe I'll keep it but when I take it out, laying on the bed, I have everybody. Not everybody but the person I'm doing with, I make them try on every piece.

At first, that's very overwhelming too, but as the process starts, they start seeing how it looks on their body, what it's doing for them. And I even sometimes 10 minutes into it, they'll I'll pick up a shirt and like just get rid of it. And you know, and I don't just get rid of I don't throw in the trash. We donat, we take care of it. But it is definitely a mental process going through this.

Laura Lummer 17:47
Yeah. So I think about one thing I want to touch on is you said it quickly. But I want to make sure we emphasize this, you literally take EVERYTHING out of the closet. So you pull it all out, you have an empty closet, a fresh start, everything is out.

Kristie Wood 18:04
Everything. So I lay it on the bed, we try to do you know, shirts in one pile... pants in another... and pajamas... t-shirts from college... And you really get to see when people hold on to and what they're so emotional about it all has to come out, you can't, it has to come out, you have to lay it out and see what am I working with.

And then you get to decide how you want to start again, you get to decide what's gonna work and what's gonna bring you back, or what's gonna make it back into the closet. And so I think an important point here is a lot of time, a lot of times women will get out of breast cancer treatment. And they have a very different body. So maybe they've had a mastectomy, maybe a lumpectomy, whatever. But oftentimes, hormone therapies, chemotherapies, they've gone into menopause. And the steroids and the menopause. And the hormone therapies put belly fat on really quickly, you know, menopause puts belly fat on and other fat. And yet we have all this stuff in our closet that we want to get back into. So we keep it, it doesn't fit. And what happens in our head when we have a closet full of stuff that doesn't fit, that doesn't look good on us. That's not comfortable when we put it on our bodies. What happens?

You open those doors and you are completely overwhelmed. And you don't feel good about yourself. You think you remember maybe who you used to be or you feel bad about yourself because you used to be a size eight and now you're a 10 or a 12 and it's so silly to me. I've been all different sizes too. And right now I'm on a larger side of maybe where I want to be or choose to be but this is where I am today. And that's all I can do is be where I am today. And in fact, I did it myself, I opened up a cupboard, and I had a pile of jeans that, you know, if I lose 10 more pounds, I can get back into them. I just thought, why am I holding on to this, when I lose 10 pounds, I'll buy another pair of jeans. And I, I literally ended up getting rid of like two bags of clothes because I didn't need it. And I don't need to look at it and not feel good about myself in life. It's what happens. I mean, I say I had a hysterectomy a year and a half ago or almost two years ago, it's harder for me to lose weight than I used to. And I just, I work on it, I work on me and healthy. But I need to accept myself for who I am and not feel bad. Or feel overwhelmed when I open a closet just because a silly tag has a number on it. Yeah, I don't that should not define who we are as women.

Right. And it's never, it's never the jeans, it's never the size on the tag is, it's what we make it mean, we put in our head that that means that those size 8 jeans don't fit around my belly. And what do I tell myself about myself because of that, right? And that's where the pain and the suffering come in has nothing to do with the jeans that are in the closet.

No, the negative self talks because we've convinced ourselves that a size eight was amazing. Mm-hmm. A size 10 or 12 is amazing too because now we're at a different place, you know, we're cancer free and life is different. But we have to move on from here and do what we can do today, for today and not feel bad about what we don't have anymore.

And the difference between squeezing into that size that really doesn't fit. That's uncomfortable. As opposed to putting on something that does fit and immediately you look better, you feel better, you don't have a muffin top, or because your clothes fit properly.

Absolutely.

Laura Lummer 22:00
Right?

Kristie Wood 22:00
Absolutely, you put on a pair of pants that outfit the whole time. You're just like, oh my God, I can't believe this doesn't fit or you got a button that when you sit down, I mean, that doesn't make you feel good, right? You want to put on an outfit that you can walk around and feel comfortable and feel confident about yourself.

Right. And I think that that's a big thing after breast cancer treatment is not just the size, but saying I you know, holding on to those clothes, because they remind you of someone you used to be as your body changed and like you know, as a cervical cancer survivor, as your body changed, you're, you know, holding on to what I used to be.

Laura Lummer 22:37
Where we need to really look at what do I need to let go of so I can be who I am like, who I am. So tell me some of the situations in which someone would come to you more often have someone come to you and say, Hey, Kristie, I need to clean out this closet or do you start to work with someone and go girl, we're cleaning out your closet, we need to make some changes.

Kristie Wood 22:59
It's mostly me coming to them. I think that most people want it. Maybe it's kind of like starting a workout program. Right? Like, I really want to do it. But it sounds like a lot of work and how Where do I even start?

Yeah, just taking everything out of my closet already sounds like too much work

It gives most people anxiety. So I really try not to tell them until I get there like, Hey, we're taking everything out because it is too overwhelming. And it's very scary. You know, and, and I, I know me and my personality, and I know that I make it a very easy process for them. And I'm not going through and going you can't have this you can't have that. It really is a mental process with every piece. You know, why do you have this? And I mean, I've heard you know, somebody say I'm like, okay, here's a big square shirt that's bright orange. And doesn't what was the purpose here? And the answer was because I thought I needed something orange in my closet.

Okay. Move on, you know. Or, I am surprised myself at how hard it is to get into somebody's closet. And so I think they have to be kind of at that breaking point. Because it's very, it is an emotional process as you start going through it. And so, I mean, some people are more open and they're ready for the change. But especially like you said, after breast cancer, I mean, there's, I've had it happen where we've done a closet audit and you know, a woman, like she smelled her clothes, and she's like, wow, I smell who I used to be before breast cancer.

You know, and, and it ended up being like a really good positive experience, you know, and, and it just, it's just so funny how we attach ourselves to these physical things, but you do like it, you have to look at them, smell them, touch them, whatever, and be okay with saying, okay, it's okay, that served me while I needed it. And now we're on to this next phase.

Laura Lummer 24:57
Mm-hmm. And I think that Well I talked a little bit about earlier is starting with something physical, because I don't think that people realize how much of an emotional experience getting rid of physical possession is. I mean, we think about that if it's like, oh, my great-grandma gave this to me, and it was a gift at her wedding or something, obviously, those kinds of things have sentimental value.

But we look at it, I'm laughing because I was doing something in my closet. And there was this pair of boots, and it was under where I have my coats hanging. So I didn't see them next, I don't keep my boots there. But it was an old pair of boots that from the first time I wore them pinched, my toes were so uncomfortable. And maybe I wore them three times before I was like, these are horrible. I forgot they were even in there. And I was looking for a jacket. And I saw them. I was like, What is this? And they're still there.

Kristie Wood 25:51
Yeah, and imagine what else is in there.

Yeah, I didn't throw them away. And I was like, Why? What was I just throwing away but giving them away, you know, donating them? But it's just the funny thing. Like, there's no way those boots will ever be on my feet again.

Exactly. And I don't think we realize how much those physical objects take up space emotionally for us too. Right, it doesn't. You, when you're when you open a closet and its things are falling out, things are falling off a shelf. It's overwhelming. And it's just it's hard to function. And you need to clear that space for so many other things in your life. And it sounds so funny because it's a cover. But I mean, like, even if it's you, you know, your linen closet and your towels are just thrown in there, whatever. And then you fold it and every time you open I really I'm like in a hotel, right? I'm gonna take out my towel and get a shower. I mean, he just feels better about himself.

Right? And I think there's more judgment there. So we talked about how, if you have clothes that don't fit you, then or you wear clothes that don't fit you and you judge yourself and whatever the story is, you tell yourself about why. But the same thing for the clutter. Right? Do you see the clutter? Why is it overwhelming? Why don't you want someone to see the inside of that closet? Because you're telling yourself a story about that closet and what it means about you as a person, right to have it in the condition it's in, or all the things that are in it that may or may not ever have been touched, right?

Absolutely. And for me, I mean, I don't even if I open somebody's closet, and that's a mess. I don't ever think of it as a reflection on that person. Now that you're saying, I have never thought that I just think okay, you need some help. Yeah, we all do it. We're all busy, you know, and there's plenty of times where you throw your pajamas back in there, or whatever it is. But I've never once even thought of that as a personal reflection on somebody's personality. You know, but we as individuals think, Oh, God, they can't see what I have going on there. They're gonna think I'm a hot mess.

Laura Lummer 27:49
Yeah, yeah. Well, I know you personally have worked with several of my members. And that was all a part of that same kind of inventory. Let's take a physical inventory. Let's take a thought inventory. Let's look at what's going on in your mind and your thoughts that are leading to whatever's building up in your home. Yes, so without mentioning any names, we can talk about what are some of the big breakthroughs that you saw, or that you heard? Or the process.

Kristie Wood 28:17
Well, it's kind of the one I touched on earlier, where she was smelling her clothes. And it took her back to a time that reminded her of like, maybe a happier time and how she felt and, and then she could still fit into the clothes, and some of them and she was like, surprised by how she could still fit into them and how she felt and but also to was just like freeing and letting herself go.

You know, and then other experiences were, you know, holding on to clothes that were five sizes too big. What if I go back to that size? Well, we don't want to ever go back in that direction. We're not going to hold on to that, you know, we need to let go of that. And so I, like I've said so many times. It's just such an emotional experience that, that you don't, you don't realize you just think they're clothes. They just need to be organized. But there's so much attached to it. Yeah.

And in that scenario, like where, how much confidence do you have in yourself at this moment? and How comfortable are you in your present body, if you're holding on to clothes that are five sizes larger than you? Yeah. And do you really feel confident in the lifestyle choices you're making? Or is there fear that you're going to slip right back into them?

Exactly. Exactly. And I think you know, you just need to let that part go and you need to say like, this is who I am. And I mean, obviously, you know me very well my tagline is like life is short like all any of us have is TODAY. So we need to live for today and enjoy who we are and enjoy this body that we're in today. Yeah, and you know only have what we need for us right now, not what we were in the past or what we're going to be in the future because none of us know.

And I think another important point about that is loving what you had now. Not looking at it and going, why do you have that? Mmm because I didn't have anything orange. But going, I love this, I put it on, it makes me feel good. I wear those shoes, I feel like I'm four inches taller, just when I put them on, because there's some pretty, or they're so comfortable or whatever, right? And really loving if you're going to have something in your home, and you're gonna have something in your closet, and you're going to put that on your body loving it. Because we all want to feel good. Right? Anything we own is about making us feel good. We thought at the moment we bought it, I'll feel this way when I wear it. Right?

Absolutely.

Laura Lummer 30:53
And as you said a minute ago, it doesn't feel good to have a bunch of stuff that's just either you don't like or you don't wear or it's outdated. And it's stuffed in the closet. But thinking about what makes me feel good. And being able to walk into your closet and think anything I put on is actually going to fit me and it's going to look nice on me. And I'm going to feel good about myself.

Kristie Wood 31:18
Yeah, absolutely. And, and that's why I make the women that I do the closet audits with I make them try everything on because you might hold up a shirt and say, you know, I bought this when we're on vacation, it reminds me of blah, blah, I'm like, Okay, put it on, like put it on and show me what it does for you. And then maybe they go to put it on and they can't even button it.

Or it's three sizes too big, or it's just not flattering, you know? And I'll be okay, so tell me what that's doing for you. And then they'll look at themselves and be like, hmm, not much. I can't get it on, you know, I'm like, Okay, so we have the memory, we you know, we were there, we had the memory, we have the experience. I mean, if you really don't want to let it go, you could take a picture of it, you keep that in your phone, let's clear the space for you know, the items that do fit you and that do make you feel good and that you can fit in this closet. And usually, as you're doing that, after so many tries are trying things on they can just pick up a hanger at you know, 10 hangers later. Nope, don't need it. That's not flattering. So. And yeah. And when I leave, I know that they have a closet full of things that make them feel good and easier to put stuff on.

Yes. And I know I've seen a lot of comments from people that you've done closet audits for but tell me like some of the things that stand out in your mind of the change of their own mindset when it's all said and done.

Well, I just did one yesterday. And her response when I was on my way home. Let me show you right here says, um, and thank you so much for coming over and helping me I've been feeling overwhelmed and just gross. I now feel lighter and ready to put something cute together. And you know, I did a closet audit one of my very first one years ago, and I had a customer that she, her thing was holding on to her college t-shirts. And she had like five from each college that she went to, or whatever. And like there were tears when we were talking about these, they literally are folded on a shelf and never wears them. And it was like, No, I don't know if I can let them go. But we worked through the process or maybe kept one from each. And, and also another thing that she had was just big comfy clothes that she wanted in her closet for when she worked from home.

Mm-hmm. Like, doesn't her husband work from home? And she's like, yes. And I said so you think your husband wants to see you in a muumuu? Like, do you think this, you know, and when I left she was like, I can't believe how good I felt like I can't wait how much lighter I feel. And I will say it most It doesn't matter what size a closet is. It could be the smallest closet, I will always walk away with five to six bags of clothes that will need to be donated because we have so many things. And yesterday, when I started the audit, I said oh we need some bags are probably going to need about five she ended up seven, so I'm getting better, and kind of gauge it.

Laura Lummer 34:26
So I'm going to share a poem that actually one of my members and I'll mention her name because she's an excellent poet, and I know she won't mind. But Mary Jo, she did a closet audit with your virtual closet audit since you're in California and she's in I think she was in Virginia at the time. And she wrote this poem because it was so meaningful to her and that audit. Not only did that audit have such a huge impact on her, and she got so much out of it. But she moved forward using the same techniques that you taught her and she's been moving through every room in her house. She's moving through drawers and other cupboards and other rooms with the same goal of you know, clearing out everything and having that space. And it's, it's awesome to see her do it and to hear you know about her progress, but she wrote this poem.

Kristie Wood 35:16
It gives me chills. By the way, I love hearing that. Because I know how much lighter it makes you feel on a daily basis. And you just feel so good walking into your home and things have a place. Yeah, I'm so happy.

Laura Lummer 35:29
Yep, yep. And you know exactly where it is, you don't get frustrated looking for things. So Mary Jo wrote, it dawned on me the other day, you may not be aware, the thoughtful thing you did for me, just because you care was just the thing I needed to move along the way, a positive direction to brighten up my day. So when you see a splash of red against my sea of blue, know, you had a hand in it just by being you. And you want to tell us why that is about her red in the sea of blue?

Kristie Wood 36:00
Because she had a lot of blue clothes. You know, and that's what you start to see too. I mean, I've seen women here I'm like, Okay, so we're in the florals, like everything that we pull out is a floral, floral or, and okay. Okay, for instance, yesterday, during the closet audit, I did a lot of dresses. And that's great. I mean, her dresses are adorable. They're cute. She loves the one and done dressing the simplicity of it.

But I got to a point where I said, You're not allowed to buy any more black dresses. You can buy a black dress with long sleeves because that's the only thing I don't see here. But you know, a spaghetti strap, I see a short sleeve, I see ones with pockets. So we're good in this department, you know, or somebody else has nothing but basics, and they don't know how to add those toppers, you know, so you really see what you have, what you don't need more of and what you are lacking. So that was why she had a lot of blue. And it was an hour it was virtually and it was like she's like, Oh, it's another blue. Like holding it up to the camera, I guess okay, but now you see, you see you're you know, what you don't need?

Laura Lummer 37:12
Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that. Right? It's your we have our favorites, nothing. That being said, when she got that redshirt. She looks gorgeous in it. She tried something new. And she was so happy and sharing about how good she felt in her red shirt. And the difference of having this red shirt on comparing to some of the blues.

Kristie Wood 37:31
Yeah, and I think as women too, we tend to be like, oh, that color doesn't look good on me because maybe somebody 10 years ago said you can't wear that, you know, but maybe you love that color. But maybe it doesn't look wonderful on you, but maybe pop a white collared shirt underneath that color and it changes everything and that changes your mood when you feel good about yourself when you're wearing something that you like.

So that's also to the process of doing this with somebody else, you would get tips and tricks and ideas on how to wear clothes and what to do and you maybe you think outside the box, that's a big thing for me is look, let's think outside the box. What can we do differently here?

Yeah, and there's a pretty popular program. I'm pretty sure it's a nationwide program for cancer patients. I don't think it's just breast cancer. I think it's cancer in general, but it's called look good, feel good. And they teach women how to wear scarves how to wear makeup, you know how to dress themselves up as they're going through chemotherapy and that type of thing. But that's what this brings me back to. And I think that's the important part of this show, is that understanding of letting things go, that is not serving you and that is not leaving you feeling good about yourself. Absolutely. As you know, having not just the clutter, but the mentality of what these things mean to you if you don't look good. And after you've been through that experience of cancer, and you know, as well as I do that oftentimes you'll look at life and say life needs to be different.

Laura Lummer 39:02
Okay, some of these things I had before or I was doing before that was a part of the dynamic of my life. It's not working, and I need to let it go. So I can renew my life. I can have new energy in my life. And this seems like such a simple thing. I think, you know, when you listen, this podcast, like really, you're doing a breast cancer podcast about cleaning out your closet. Yeah. This is a great place to start. And it's amazing how much it clears out your mind, and changes your mood and your energy and just your sense of self-worth and your place in your own home.

Kristie Wood 39:36
Well, it really does. And I mean, we open our closet every single day to get dressed. So if you open something every day and you feel overwhelmed, how is the rest of your day going to me versus you open it and Oh, look, there are all my shirts, there are my pants. I know this goes with that and you feel good about yourself and you can make it through the day, you know?

Yeah. And letting goes Who you're not, thoughts about who you're not, judging yourself for who you're not. Ties right into letting go of all the things we have, in our closet, in our drawers in our home, that don't serve the person we are right now or don't serve the future vision of ourselves, we want to become.

Absolutely.

Laura Lummer 40:19
Leading us down that road are holding us this stuff that just holds us. And as we let go of that, we start to realize the thoughts behind them that hold us here as well. And that's really the important thing that that's like the underlying theme to get to because nothing in our house is anything but neutral. You know, the junk drawers, the stuff in it is just stuff and stuff and what we make of it. Alright, so great stuff, great stuff. And then Kristie, you have a ton of great styling tips and videos and pictures of yourself and they're on Facebook and on Instagram. So I'd love for you to tell people where they can find you. So they can look up some of the styling tips and some outfits and get some great ideas for ways to dress in a way that makes them feel really good.

Kristie Wood 41:09
Absolutely. I would love to do that. So you could follow me on Instagram and Facebook. It's @cabibykdub , C-A-B-I-by-K-D-U-B

Great. Well, thank you so much for joining us. I think that it's really helpful. And I think it's important for women to understand it's like we're all in this together. We've all got shit in our closet. I've got those boots. I've got more than just those boots.

I know you do I have seen your closet.

Laura Lummer 41:36
Yeah.

Kristie Wood 41:37
it's organized. I will give you, your closet is organized.

Laura Lummer 41:39
It is very organized. My sleeve length and color.

Kristie Wood 41:43
Oh, sleeve length. Yeah.

Laura Lummer 41:46
Oh yeah, by sleeve length and color. I have a long history in retail,

So.. yeah, but great stuff. And thank you so much for coming on. Appreciate you making the time to be here always.

Kristie Wood 42:01
You're welcome. Thank you.

Laura Lummer 42:04
All right, ladies, I hope that puts you in the mood to jump into the breast cancer recovery group and join me in our 30-day minimalist game. And if you loved what Kristie has to say honestly, she's got some great stuff on our Facebook and Instagram. I know sometimes it can be really challenging to figure out what looks good, what feels good, how to dress your body type, and as your body changes how to understand that especially if your body changes really quickly.

So if you're concerned about letting go of clothes or what to keep or what looks good, check out her Facebook and Instagram and I'll post the notes again in the show notes for this episode at thebreastcancerrecoverycoach.com/123.

And Kristie has also graciously provided us with the checklist that you'll find in those show notes as well to help guide you through getting rid of the clutter in your own space and just feeling good and letting things go. She's also graciously offered for you to direct message her on Facebook or Instagram if you need help if you need tips. If you have challenges in letting go or if you're interested in finding out more about getting a professionally guided closet audit.

Alright, come and join me the breast cancer recovery group you can find it on Facebook, it is FREE.

February 1, we will start releasing we will support each other and letting go of the physical things that aren't our environment, process the emotions that go with them, and help ourselves feel good from the outside, in.

I'll talk to you again next week. And until then, be good to yourself and expect other people to be good to you as well.

Bye now.

 

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