#117 How to Manage Overwhelm with a Mind-Body Approach

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Do you frequently feel engulfed by overwhelm? Or perhaps you brush it under the rug, soldiering on as though it's non-existent?

In this episode, we delve into a two-pronged strategy to address overwhelm, recognizing its presence both mentally and physically.

Discover insights on how to nurture both your mind and body by acknowledging, embracing, and yielding to the state of being overwhelmed, all the while continuing your pursuit of peace and progressing through your day.

 

Resources:

The People’s Pharmacy Podcast: Show 1237: Improving Your Mood With Food 

How to Manage When We Feel Overwhelmed

 

 


 

Read the full transcript below:

 

0:01
This is Laura Lummer, the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm a healthy lifestyle coach, a clinical Ayurveda specialist, a personal trainer, and I'm also a breast cancer survivor. In this podcast, we talk about healthy thinking and mindfulness practices, eating well, moving your body for health and longevity. And we'll also hear from other breast cancer survivors who have reengaged with life, and have incredible stories to share. This podcast is your go to resource for getting back to life after breast cancer. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the breast cancer recovery coach podcast. I am your host, Laura Lummer. I'm thrilled that you are here downloading listening to the show today. And I want to start off, I haven't shared a review in a long time. So I want to start off sharing a review that came in the other day because it just it means a lot. If you're new to the show, I think it might be meaningful for you to hear the review. But also just want to say thank you and give credit to you for taking the time to leave the review because it is so so important for this show to get out and be heard by more survivors. So this review was left by GP B C Foster. And GP BC Foster says, When I was first diagnosed, this podcast provided valuable information and insight, it provided support as I went through treatment. Now as I navigate through after breast cancer life, it gives me practical tips, encouragement, and hope. Thank you, Laura, for sharing your uplifting message. And I want to say You are so welcome. And thank you, GP BC Foster, because that makes everything I do worthwhile. And I really, really appreciate you taking the time to leave that review. So thank you very, very much. And if you are a regular listener, or if you're a new listener, and you enjoy the show today, I would love it, if you could take the time to scroll down to wherever you listen to the podcast, leave a rating leave a review, I can't even tell you how much it means. All right. That being said, let's jump right into the show. So here we are, we're halfway through December. Some of us like me are completely locked down in our homes, again, others are wide open, some are kind of halfway between we're going about holiday business, as best we can maybe not quite the same as we did in the past maybe so depending on where you live. Either way, there's one thing that I'm hearing a lot of lately, and that is overwhelm. And overwhelm is not unusual for this time of year. Me It's not unusual for life in general. And it certainly isn't unusual if you're recovering from breast cancer treatment. And you're trying to reassimilate into life with all of the weirdness that's out there right now. Or you're going for follow up visit scan surgeries, those triggers anxiety, they trigger overwhelm. There's just a lot happening right now. So today, I want to talk about overwhelm. And two things that you can do to bring yourself back from feeling in a spin and support your body in a way that you may not normally think would have anything to do with feeling overwhelmed, but it's something that's really important. So let's talk about what overwhelm actually is. And there are several definitions and definitions of overwhelm range from feeling defeated, being defeated, to having too much of something to having a strong emotional effect, or to being overpowered. And you may relate to all of these, but instead of focusing on the things or the reasons for overwhelm, I want to talk about what you're thinking, and what actions you take when you're experiencing feelings of overwhelm. So I'll share a personal experience with you. My husband is a super early bird. He's up at four us walking the dogs. And then he sits down to read the news while he's having his morning coffee. And as he's reading on his iPad, he'll come across articles of injustice or something else that pisses him off. And then he'll copy the link to that article, and it'll text it to me. Now, my phone is always off when I'm asleep. So his texts Don't wake me up. He knows that. But when I do wake up when my alarm goes off, I'll go to switch off the alarm which is on my phone, and then I'll see this list of text messages have links to stories that are going to piss me off. Hello, good morning, right? That's the way you want to wake up. Well, it isn't it isn't the way I want to start my day. And we're all living with a tremendous amount of turmoil and uncertainty and waking up to a list of articles that reinforce that turmoil can be very overwhelming. So it's not the mindset I want to start my day with. Now at first when he would do this I felt kind of obligated to skim the articles because I knew when I got up to go get my coffee he want to talk with me and he chat about wanted to chat about the things that he had sent my way But I quickly noticed that this was just not making me feel, well, I didn't feel the way I wanted to feel. And I had to tell him that I just can't start my day like that, because it gets me thinking things that cause me to feel upset and angry. And I don't want to start my day like that. So I share this story with you, because the first step in getting out of overwhelm, is to become aware of being in it. And I don't just mean saying, I'm overwhelmed, but to actually sit with that emotion, to just stop and sit in a chair or lay in your bed, sit in the parking lot, or your driveway in your car, close your eyes. And just really notice where you feel that overwhelm in your body. Notice if it's in your stomach, or your heart or your head or all of the above. And even bring your hands to that place where you notice it and become aware of everything you're feeling. Let go of resisting or fighting or ignoring the feelings of overwhelm, let go of the desire to push through it. And just be with it and allow it. Allow it to happen. And allow yourself to experience it. Because when you resist, when you fight, overwhelm, or you fight any feeling that's uncomfortable, any feeling that comes up for you, and you say no, this isn't how I want to feel, I'm going to push right past it, instead of allow it and explore it, then you can push yourself into a really dangerous place where you have a tendency to do what's called buffering, right? You buffer yourself. And buffering actions are things that lead to self destructive behaviors like overeating, over drinking, or any unhealthy behavior, over sleeping, even staying in bed, not getting up not getting dressed, staying in your pajamas all day, you know, as you try to make yourself feel better from the outside in. But that doesn't work. You know, when you feel something inside this uncomfortable staying, what you call cozy on the outside, isn't going to change what's happening on the inside. So think about it for a second. If you feel bad, it in order to drown that bad feeling, you bring something else into your body that makes it feel even worse. And it may numb you for a moment, you know, a shot of alcohol, or it may make you feel good for a couple of minutes a bite of a cupcake. But then you feel even worse afterwards from too much sugar, or too much alcohol or too much food. And it just doesn't serve you. But when you surrender to that emotion when you stop and you allow yourself to experience what you're actually feeling under that label of overwhelm, then you can let it go. You can surrender, you can accept where you're at in that place and make peace with it.

7:52
Now, I am not prone to anxiety, I'm a pretty even keeled person most of the time. And that's, I think, been a direct result of years and years of learning how to manage my mind. But right now currently, in my life, I have a lot of balls in the air. And a few of them are pretty big. And they require some time sensitive decisions. But I'm not at a place where I feel like I have clarity around some of those decisions. So the other night, I was feeling like, I need to get these balls out of the air. But I don't have anywhere to put them. You know what I'm saying? I can't, I'm juggling and I don't feel like I can stop. And this rarely happens to me. But I couldn't sleep, I couldn't shut off my mind. And it was about 130 in the morning. And I thought, Okay, I've got two choices. Now, I can get up, I can take a pill that will help me go to sleep. Or I can get up and I can just get this shit out of my head. I need to look at my thoughts sit with this feeling of overwhelm, and see if I can get past it, see if I can release it. So I grabbed my journal and went out to the kitchen table. So I went wake up my husband. And I sat there for a few minutes first just noticing how uncomfortable I felt in my body and in my head. And I did I felt very uncomfortable. I recognized that there was nothing physically wrong with me. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't ill or achy. But this flood of thoughts that was just like a whirlpool in my head and it was just making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. And so then I just wrote every thought that was in my head, no judgment, no looking for answers, no resolutions, no solutions, just writing as much as I could, until I felt like it was finally all out. Right until I just dumped everything and there was nothing left in my head to make me uncomfortable. It was all out on paper. And then I left it there. And I told myself, I'm just gonna leave it here to season you know, just to settle on this paper. And when I come back tomorrow, I'm going to look at it and then I'll have some more clarity and that might help me make some decisions. And I went back to bed. So no books, no TV, no phone, no iPad, I just laid there in bed and I I just started paying a little bit of attention to my breath, and how I was feeling which was a lot lighter. So, of course, you're not always in a situation where you can write things out, leave them on a piece of paper and go to bed. Sometimes you're feeling overwhelmed, and you're in the thick of bed, and you've got to get some things done. So here's what I want to offer you. Even in that moment, stop, take a 10 minute break, wherever you're at, even if it's in a parking lot, if you're at work, go sit in the ladies room. But take 10 minutes and just stop. And notice what you're feeling. Were you feeling it, allow the overwhelm to be there. And then take a few minutes and thought dump and you've got to write it not just think about it, you've got to get it out of your head. And then since you're in your day, and you have things you have to get done, you take one thing out of that thought dump the one thing that has to happen right now, and you make a decision, okay, this is the thing I'm going to do right now. And then you fold up that list, and you let it season in your pocket, as you do the one thing you've decided on. And if you find your mind, going back to the other thoughts that were on that list, just tell yourself, I'm going to get back to it when I'm done with this. Because let's be honest, multitasking is a myth. I mean, unless you're eating and doing something at the same time, which is also a horrible habit then. But that's an actual multitasking, eating and reading, eating and watching TV, you're doing two things. Maybe you can drive to pick up the kids or go to the grocery store while you're on a zoom call. But you can't be focused on two things at once with 100% of your attention and being present. You can't resolve relationship issues at home, when you're at work doing your job, you can't change what is already happening in your body, while you're waiting to go for a scan. So remember, overwhelm is an emotion, and an emotion, no matter how yucky it might feel will not kill you. Allow yourself to surrender to that emotion and keep doing what you need to do anyway, noticing it, knowing it's not going to kill me, I can get through this. Because it's not the feeling or the emotion that paralyzes you, it's your thoughts that do. It's not your feelings that give you anxiety. It's your thoughts that do. I love, love, love this quote by Dr. Bessel Vander Kolk, he's the author of the Body Keeps the Score. And he says trauma is played out in the theater of the body. And when your body is feeling off, there's something deeper going on, you have to stop here and increase your awareness of what is happening. And then coach yourself through figuring it out. And while you do that, though, I want to caution you about one thing. As you explore feelings of overwhelm, and you look at what your thoughts are behind those feelings, there's a little trap you can fall into, you can end up telling yourself or someone else the story of why you're feeling overwhelmed, simply to validate your misery rather than to find a solution and the ability to let go of what you don't want to be thinking or feeling. So you have to be careful there. If you hear yourself reciting the same string of misery and stresses over and over to yourself or, or those people who around you. And then suddenly you notice that there's just blank looks on their faces, and they nod and move on as quickly as possible. You've lost your way, you'd lost your way to the solution. And you're stuck in your misery. And when that happens, it's time to come back. Break out that pen and paper, call your coach, call your champion, hold yourself accountable to move forward. And you can do that with yourself, which is sometimes really hard or someone you trust, you got to look at what's actually happening, and move yourself forward from that space. So if you find yourself in a place where you're ruminating on your story, or if you're taking on too many things, you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling stressed out, you're feeling exhausted. An important question to ask yourself is, are the actions I'm taking now moving me closer to the result I want to achieve in my life? So examples are, are my action is creating more peace? Are they creating less worry? Are they creating deeper connection? More fun, better health? If not, then it's time to redirect. You got to look at what's happening around you and ask yourself Do I need to shut off the news? Do I need to say yes to something like yes, I need to meet my bestie for lunch. I need to go for a walk. I need to have a do nothing and read an inspiring book day. I need to go on a picnic. I need to address my mental health and allow my brain to rest so I can emerge with more clarity and more calmness in my life.

14:55
So that's the mental emotional part of overwhelm that we want to address. When Have you noticed that you're caught in this cycle of thinking, the thoughts that are creating the overwhelm. But in the beginning of the show, I told you, I was also going to talk about a way to support your body through reducing that feeling of overwhelm. And so it's the actual physical care of your body that we're going to talk about. And this is a really important thing to be aware of, because your body has a physical reaction that creates that yucky feeling when you're experiencing anxiety and overwhelm. According to Jessica Dubeau, moss in her article How to manage when we feel overwhelmed, she says, and I quote, The reason a person's physiology responds so strongly to this negative emotion is the release of cortisol, the stress hormone. When you begin to feel overwhelmed, cortisol surges through your body and leaves you overloaded with intense anxiety. At the same time, our serotonin stores the chemical that helps our bodies fight off depression, anxiety start to deplete. And the combination causes the intense feeling of total despair associated with being overwhelmed and quote. So we cannot ignore the fact that there's a gut brain connection, and that what is happening in your gut impacts the way that you think and feel. Uma Naidu, a Harvard trained nutritional psychologist, a professionally trained chef and a breast cancer survivor in her book, this is your brain on food says, Many people are oblivious to the fact that when mental health is affected, the root of the problem is not solely in the brain. Instead, it's a signal that one or more of the body's connections to the brain has gone awry. And let me tell you, I love this book. So one of my Empower members sent a link to a podcast that uma Naidu was being interviewed on. And in fact, I'll post it in the show notes along with the link to her book. And I was so impressed by her immediately bought her book, and I'm obsessed with this book, I'm obsessed with this woman. She's just, she's got a wonderful rich background as a professional chef and a clinical psychologist, and, you know, just so smart, she's got a background in Ayurveda. And like I said, she's a breast cancer survivor, too. And so she used nutrition, in supporting her through that treatment as well. So another thing in the book is that she uses this analogy of how we sometimes take a pill to relieve us of our mental suffering, right, we have pills for anxiety, we have pills, for depression, and for many other things that are mental illness or mental health related. So she talks about how that pill goes first into the gut before affecting the brain, and how the signal that comes from the brain, in turn, affects our gut. And when I read that, I thought about these three pills I used to have to take when I would go to get a chemotherapy infusion. And I had to take one, right as the drip started, and then one each consecutive day for three days. And these pills kept me from feeling nauseous by cutting off a specific signal that would travel from my gut to my brain. So as my oncologist explained, we were essentially hiding the fact that I was nauseous and needed to throw up from my brain, we were blocking it from getting that signal. And the point of me telling you this is that what you eat, and how you nourish your body can have a very strong impact on how you think, and how you feel. It can impact your mood, and your well being, it can impact your mental wellness. Now, if you've gotten so far away from noticing the effect of food on your body, then it's time to really come back and begin with some mindful eating practices. And notice how what you're eating and drinking is affecting you. And so here's an interesting thing to consider. If you hear me say that and you say to yourself, I was eat really well, and I still feel overwhelmed. I have a really healthy eating plan. And I still feel anxious. Well, one is I'm not saying food is a cure all. But it's a powerful support. And it's one that you have control over. And two is I often see survivors who are so fearful of a recurrence, that they stress themselves out with this uber disciplined way of eating that literally has no joy in it. I mean, it's not fun. It's almost like a punishment. It's fundamentally based on deprivation. So it's important to remember that healthy fats and delicious tasting foods are important to your overall healthy lifestyle. So if you're being so hard on yourself that you're robbing yourself of joy. Again, check in with the signals your body sends, and give yourself some grace. If you don't want to feel anxious, maybe you're being too disciplined. If you don't want that feeling of anxiety, maybe you need to bring some more joy into your life. And Joy doesn't always come in the form of a cupcake. Joy can come in the form of taking care of yourself with a good and balanced healthy nutrition plan. When I teach Four Pillars of recovery in my coaching programs. Mindful eating is a big part of the Renew pillar. our mind and our body are intricately connected. And if you want to feel well enough to release fear, anxiety, self deprecating thoughts, it's important that you feel well physically and emotionally. Good nutrition, hydration, exercise and sleep are fundamental to that healing and managing the mind. And sometimes medicinal support is needed to and there's no shame in that breast cancer is traumatic and processing it is not easy. But there are many things that are within your power to support you through that process. So in summary, when you're feeling overwhelmed, stop, give yourself a 10 minute break. Take a few deep breaths. Notice where in your body you're feeling the overwhelm, and don't resist it. Allow yourself to be in it knowing it isn't going to kill you. Then you dump all of your thoughts out of your head onto paper, no filters, no judgment, no editing, just dumping. Decide if you have to move forward your day on the one. Next thing you can do. And allow everything else to just season on that piece of paper. Give yourself permission to let it go until the task at hand is completed. And then begin paying attention to what you're putting in your body. Are you loving up on yourself with nutritious delicious food that leaves you feeling satisfied, that gives you sustainable energy and that you enjoy? Or are you buffering and trying to numb what you don't want to feel with sugar, alcohol, junk food or just overeating and over drinking. Awareness is the first step to changing this. So do things to increase your awareness. Get the book I talked about, get the book your brain on food, understand how what you eat impacts how you think and feel, educate yourself on how important a healthy lifestyle is. I know I've said so many times that here in the Western world, we've done ourselves such an injustice by claiming that exercise and healthy food are just vehicles to weight loss when they're critical pillars to a healthy lifestyle. So get yourself educated on how important that is and shift that perspective of weight loss to health and what you do to love yourself by giving yourself good things. And then connect to somebody turn to what I call a champion your life someone who is your ride or die, someone who has your back, someone who will help you hold yourself accountable to doing the things that are good for you, like taking good care of yourself, being compassionate and giving yourself grace and time to stop. And if you don't know who that is, or you want more support, come to facebook and join the breast cancer recovery group where you can talk to hundreds of other survivors. Or you can even just read through chats and find little nuggets of knowledge that these other women are going through that might help you something you need. And if you need some help with nutrition right now and you need some extra support in avoiding holiday goodies, you can go to my website, the breast cancer recovery coach.com. And you can start the five day sugar challenge. It's a fun challenge, you can do it anytime. And it guides you through understanding the way you think about the choices you make with food and how to get those choices to align with the person you want to be I you'll really enjoy it, the women have gone through it, love it and it just really helps you to get your mind around looking at approaching food in a different way. So either way, pick one of those things, pick something that supports you and helps you and I hope that this gave you a little bit of insight on how you can take better care of yourself and finish this year with peace and calm and joy in your heart. If what you're doing isn't getting you there and maybe you just need to let some things go. All right. I will talk to you next week and until then, be good to yourself.

24:05
Use your courage to the test laid all your doubts your mind is clearer than before your heart is full and wanting more your futures Give it all you know has you been waiting on yours this is your

 

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