In this interview, you'll hear the incredible story of Ronda Salazar and how a serendipitous event hurled her into the world of breast cancer.

Ronda's story is one of strength and inspiration as she moves through the role of breast cancer patient to the role of survivor, mentor, and composer. You'll hear how this talented woman translated her experience with cancer into a musical CD, that gives back to other cancer patients. You'll even hear one of her favorite songs which I know will touch your heart and inspire you to want to hear more.

You'll hear how this talented woman translated her experience with cancer into a musical CD, that gives back to other cancer patients. You'll even hear one of her favorite songs which I know will touch your heart and inspire you to want to hear more.

This episode is longer than usual but it's worth every minute.

 

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Read the full transcript: 

 

00:01

This is Laura Lummer, the breast cancer recovery coach. I'm a healthy lifestyle coach, a clinical Ayurveda specialist, a personal trainer, and I'm also a breast cancer survivor. In this podcast, we talk about healthy thinking and mindfulness practices, eating well, moving your body for health and longevity. And we'll also hear from other breast cancer survivors who have reengaged with life, and have incredible stories to share. This podcast is your go to resource for getting back to life after breast cancer. Welcome to Episode 10, of the breast cancer recovery coach. I am Laura Lummer, the breast cancer recovery coach. And this is a really exciting episode is my first double digit. So I'm super excited to be putting this out there. And it's a great episode as well. I want to thank you for listening for continually downloading this podcast. And if you follow if you enjoy it, if you feel like you get something good out of any of these episodes, please do me a favor and go to the iTunes store right now just turn it off, go to iTunes Store and then come on back and leave a quick review even just one sentence, and subscribe to the podcast. And that way we'll help the podcast move up and ranking so that more breast cancer survivors will be able to hear this information and maybe get something good out of it as well something that they need to hear. So, as many of you know, July is the anniversary of my diagnosis of breast cancer. And this July 11 was six years of survivorship for me. And in celebration of that I reached out and asked many other survivors to give me their stories. So we could share those stories online on the podcast on my Facebook page. And in doing so the hope was that other people who needed to hear something that the survivors were willing to share, got it through that, you know, they heard something that made them feel more encouraged or helped them know that they were not alone. And this is a really fantastic interview because I heard of Rhonda a couple of months ago when she left a comment on my Facebook page, and also a link to her website, which I looked at, which I thought was super cool. And when I decided to share more survivor stories this month, as I was messaging her because I thought oh yeah, I want to talk to Rhonda Salazar, she was really great. Her the work that she's doing is really cool. And I'm messaging her on my phone. And as I'm doing it, a notification pops up that she's leaving comments on my facebook page at the exact same moment. So I felt like that was some serendipity. And I am really pleased because I know this, this interview was just meant to come together. And it did and it's really beautiful. So one more thing about my survivor anniversary, I want to point out is that until the end of the month until July 31. I am offering anybody who feels like they'd like to work with me, if you'd like some one on one coaching for whatever it might be moving past or any struggles that you may have with recovering from breast cancer, whether it be fitness, nutrition, mindfulness, peace of mind, stress reduction, any of those things, I'm offering a buy one, get one. So for every month of coaching that you purchase with me, you get one month free. So go to my website, check it out, it's Laura lummer.com. Click on the link that says coaching and you can sign up right there. Beneath that you'll also find revivify, which is my membership program. And it's going to be super cool program. I put a lot of work into this and it's just a few weeks away from being launched. So you can sign up on the waitlist for vivify. And if you do that on my website, then when the program was launched, you receive a free month for every month of membership that you purchase. So take advantage of the specials, and go to the website and take advantage them before the end of the month because I am so happy to just be here to be doing the work that I do. And I'm thrilled to be able to offer this month of specials to anybody out there who may need it as well. Okay, so we're gonna move into this. My guest today is Rhonda Salazar. She is just so talented. And one of the things that she has done to give back to breast cancer survivors, to give back to people who are going through treatment is she has put her story in music, and she sells the CDs and the proceeds from them go back to the breast cancer I'm sorry, the American Cancer Society to help support the programs that give support to other breast cancer survivors and patients. So listen to the very end of this episode because after the interview, I'm going to play for you one of Rundas favorites songs and it's so beautiful her CD is so moving. And I'll give you information at the end of this podcast on what how you can find it, how you can get it for yourself. And I am just so thrilled that I found her. So without further ado, we're gonna move right into this interview so that you can hear her incredible story as well. Rhonda, welcome, thank you so much for being here today. This podcast is airing a little bit after we actually record it. So, you know, we're here together on the Fourth of July. And it really means a lot to me that you're willing to take time out of this very special and fun holiday to be here and do this podcast with me. So thank you, thank you, thank you for being here. And let's just get right into it. Because you have a great story. And an important story for everybody to hear to increase awareness and just to have an understanding of how important maintenance is in those follow up appointments and our regular annual checkups and care. So I'm gonna hand it over to you and just start telling us your story from how you found out about breast cancer. And we'll go from there.

 

06:08

Okay, great. Well, thank you very much for this opportunity to even share my story. So I'll just jump right in about two years ago, in March of 2015, I was outside, taking a walk during lunch after work or during work, and happened to just walk outside of my building and there was a peak mammogram ban on the street corner. And at the time I was 46 years old, I had actually procrastinated had not ever had a mammogram. My doctors were all after me telling me I needed to get that done. And I just was not really, you know, it wasn't a top priority for me. You know, I felt healthy, everything was great. I have no history of breast cancer in my family. So it really wasn't something that crossed my mind. But I saw that mammogram ban there. And something just kind of triggered inside my head. And I thought you know, it's here. It's convenient, why don't I just go on and get this taken care of and kind of get that checked off my mental list. The other added bonus, I guess was it was from St. Luke's Hospital, which is the local hospital that my doctor has privileges at, that's where he goes, you know, if I ever had have any issues or anything, so it was kind of a comfortable thing for me to it was a known entity. Right? So I I walked into the mammogram band, and you know, told them that I wanted to go ahead and get checked out had never had my first mammogram done. You know, they asked all the normal questions and, you know, gave me the little tiny lecture about how I should have gotten it done a few years ago,

 

07:47

because we start when let's for everybody to be well aware first mammogram should be at at 440 don't

 

07:55

have any history of your family. So obviously, a little bit earlier if you do have any history, you know, with a mom or sister or anything, but definitely it by the age of 40. We should all be getting checked annually for just to make sure that everything is good.

 

08:09

Yeah. And don't feel to shame because I'm right there with you. And I did the same thing and thought the same thing. I'm happy I'm healthy. I'm happy. I've no history. I have nothing to worry about. Yeah, right. And we all do that. Yeah, so go ahead.

 

08:24

Yes, sir. So the the X ray technician that was there, her name was Kay. I remember that to this day. She was really really sweet. You know, she talked me through everything. And she she actually cautioned me she said don't be surprised if you get a call back because since this is your very first mammogram, there's a very good chance they're going to want to do some additional tests just to get a good solid baseline that they can use in the future for your next annual mammogram and compare things against so she was telling me not to be worried it was normal if I got a call back not to think anything of it. You know, kind of set my mind at ease with that. So women got everything squished. And then they sent me on my merry little way and it really I was done in maybe 15 minutes. It was so quick. And all I remember thinking was Why didn't I do this sooner? That was really kind of silly to wait that long.

 

09:15

Yeah, it's a simple process. Exactly. But still uncomfortable. I mean, we have to admit that it's kind of awkward to stick your boob in between these old things and squish it down ya know, that's a nobody likes doing that.

 

09:29

I never thought that they could give so much he really did a good job. I ended up I ended up taking my walk at lunchtime and really did not think anything else of it. Just kind of check that off my mental list. I got it done

 

09:46

right like good for me. I'd got my mammogram done.

 

09:51

So I didn't think anything else about it. I started getting some letters periodically from the women's clinic At St. Luke's Hospital, and it was letter saying, you know, we want to do some additional tests, we want to make sure that we've got everything covered. And shame on me. Not only did I procrastinate on getting my first mammogram, I ignored those letters for a while. Not for very long, but I think I think I got the first letter maybe in like the second week of April, and 2015. And I kept getting them every couple of weeks. And the eye opener for me was, on my birthday, June 11. I got a letter that I actually had to sign for data, the FedEx station, okay, so I went down and resigned for it opened it up, I actually thought it was something that I ordered online. So my mind was not even anywhere thinking about test results or anything. I opened that letter. And the language of the letter was much stronger. This time. It was from the women's clinic, and they said, we've been trying to reach you, we cannot rule out at this point that you don't have cancer. And you really need to contact to get some additional tests done. And when I read that letter, I just I got back in my car, and I sat and I just cried. Because I just felt like my entire world fell apart. I did have a diagnosis yet, but I didn't know what was going to happen.

 

11:18

Scary. Yeah. And this is three months. This is three months after you did the mammogram in March, was it? It was about two and a half months. Yeah, two and a half months. Okay. Yeah.

 

11:29

So I have waited, I had an order. And all this other letters didn't go to get the additional testing like they were recommending. So needless to say, the next day, I called right away and made an appointment. They were able to get me in within a couple days. And they did some more X rays, they did a couple of ultrasounds and the radiologists came in and talked to me. And she said, We she told me that they had found some microcalcification in my right breast and that they had found two lumps in my left breast. And she really was not concerned about it. She said, four out of five times when you have micro calcification, it's benign, which means it's not cancerous, there isn't anything to worry about. She said, You know, it's only a 20% chance Lanikai that it actually is cancer. And she said what what I'd like to recommend is we just kind of watch over the next few months and see if the size and the shape of that area changes. And she also said we'll take a look at the other lumps too. And just kind of keep an eye on them. She thought that those were fibroid cysts that it was really nothing to worry about. I do have history of a lot of different kinds of cancer in my family. So it's a very scary thing for me. When you hear that C word you just

 

12:44

what does this mean? Right? Very scary. It's

 

12:47

just It's terrifying. So I started again, I started crying. I was an emotional wreck,

 

12:55

which is totally understandable. Yeah,

 

12:59

I told the radiologist that because of the history of cancer, even though there's no breast cancer history, I really was not comfortable with waiting. I wanted to know what my options were, you know, how can I find out for sure. And she told me that the only way would be to get some biopsies done. So I told her, that's what I want to do. I don't want to wait, let's schedule biopsies. Let's get this taken care of. And let me find out for sure. One way or the other what I'm dealing with?

 

13:23

So did your physician then she just was like, let's wait and watch it and see if anything grows it because she wasn't concerned is that what was happening? And then you said no, no, no, let's let's we're going to get a biopsy.

 

13:35

Right. And this was the radiologist at the time. So this was just the lady that was you know, checking the X rays and really evaluating everything to see whether there was an issue or not. My physician, to be honest, wasn't even involved with any of this yet. Okay. And everything happens so fast that by the time he got involved, I was already well down the path of knowing what was going on. Right. Yeah, it was the timing was just very strange. And everything was just so quick. I just that was what was really shocking to me. But the radiologist was very understanding of me wanting to go ahead and get some biopsies done. She was able to get me scheduled for two days later, I came in, I was there for probably three hours. They did with the microcalcification. In my right breast they did what is called a stereotactic needle biopsy, where they actually lay down on a table face down and your booth just kind of hangs out there. Lovely. They stood this needle very, very fine needle right into the center of that microcalcification area to pull out a tissue sample. And she did that about three different times to try to get different different sections of that area. And then they would send it off to pathology and you know, have them evaluate it. They also did biopsies, ultrasound, needle biopsies. Are the two cysts that I have my left breast. And those were, oh, my, this was probably the worst part of the whole, you know, testing experience because the cysts were so hard and so dense that she could not get the needle into the center of them. She had to push so hard. left, my left breast swelled up like a big giant grapefruit.

 

15:24

It's horrible. yellow and purple. Oh, my gosh. Oh, painful.

 

15:29

But you know, that's, I wanted to go through with that, just to know for sure what it was. She did. The radiologist did tell me that, because they were so dense that she was nearly 100% sure that they were fibroid, because she said cancer tumors are much more subtle, I guess, and easier to actually. Give me a to actually pull tissue out.

 

15:56

Oh, that's interesting. Interesting. Yeah, that is interesting.

 

16:01

Yeah, so basically, after about three hours of doing some testing, I was sent on my way again, it was on a Friday, so I had to wait over the weekend.

 

16:10

That is the longest weekend ever, isn't it? The waiting oh, and I'm sure anyone listening can identify the waiting is just the worst.

 

16:20

It was horrible. And they said it could take up to a business week to get the results back. But I ended up I ended up getting a call Tuesday morning, I was at work Tuesday morning at 10 o'clock. And it was the women's clinic. And the lady told me that the lady that called me said that they'd gotten the test results back and she said, I'm very sorry to tell you, but you do have breast cancer. And the next, I don't even know what the rest of that conversation was, like, completely obliterated from my mind. I don't remember anything. All I know is I had notes written down where I had an appointment scheduled with a surgeon in two days, I didn't know who it was, I knew nothing.

 

17:06

I think it's important to highlight that that moment, really, you know, I had an interview the other day with someone and she was saying, you know, I just didn't know I didn't know what to do. And that I think a lot of people who hear about people getting diagnosed with cancer don't realize that at that moment, literally, like you said, you just it's like a movie scene, right? Where they show this person's face when they've just heard some dramatic news. And there's just like this muffled noise all around them. And you're just thinking, I have no idea what to do. And that's a really uncomfortable place to be, you know, it's what's my first step, what happens now who do I turn to now what happens? And it's, you know, which is one of the reasons why I think it's so important that we continue to bring awareness to the fact that there are a lot of people out there offering support for breast cancer patients and for newly diagnosed people as well as survivors. You know, we need to get that out there and let them know when you hear that news, there are places to turn to because it's a terrible place to be to feel.

 

18:07

Right, absolutely. And I just remember, you know, how people say your whole life flashes in front of you. That's almost what it felt like to me, because I've actually lost both of my parents to different to different types of cancer. And so for me, hearing the C word for me was was death. That's what I equate it to. Right. anymore.

 

18:33

Thank God. Yeah, the time.

 

18:35

That's what that meant to me. So I, I'm a I'm a very strong, tough person, but I fell apart. I literally fell apart. I was at work, I ended up. We have an instant messenger. ad that work. I ended up messaging one of my friends. One of my friend, coworker, she came into my office, she asked me what to do I actually work in the same building with my brother. So she went and got my brother. He came in. He asked what was going on? I told him, I just found out I had breast cancer. He said, Okay, get your purse. We're leaving. Let's go. For him. He literally took me out of the building. Yeah, he was wonderful. took me out of the building. We went across the street to Starbucks. He bought me a coffee.

 

19:21

Starbucks makes everything better.

 

19:28

He said, Okay, now it's time for my maiden name as guides. He's he said, It's time for family to kick into gear. So let's figure out what we're going to do. So he sat there with me and he said, What's your plan of action? And I would tell him, I said, I have no clue. I don't, I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a step away from my grave. And he said, You're not so let's just get that out of your mind right now. And we probably sat there for about an hour. It's an hour and a half and we just talked through Everything, I made a list of what I needed to do, I call, you know, call my doctor right away and see what my doctor has to say. And when we went back to the office, my brother went and told my boss what was going on, because my boss had seen me leaving, you know, with just tears streaming down my face, because I was just a mess. Because I really didn't know what to do. I, I didn't know at the time that there was support groups, I had heard of breast cancer. And I knew about cancer in general, I had no idea what was out there. I had no idea what to do. I just knew I had an appointment with a surgeon in two days. And I had no idea what that meant.

 

20:38

Right? And why would you write it's why why would you need to know those things? And you would never think that this is going to touch your life. Yeah. And then it's just like, boom, life is different, in the matter of one phone call.

 

20:53

At four words, breast cancer, that's it that changed my life forever. Absolutely. And I know that sounds so cliche, but it really is true. That was that was a pivotal moment in my life.

 

21:04

Absolutely. That's so true. So what was your diagnosis? And what did you go through as treatments.

 

21:12

So my initial diagnosis was that I had stage zero DCIS, which is ductal carcinoma in situ. And what that means is that that was the microcalcification, that they had found, which are small, tiny cell clusters that are starting to turn into cancer, essentially. But they're there in place in your milk duct. So they haven't actually invaded your breast tissue, yet, they're still kind of in place. They're fully contained. And that's the best place to be. If you're if you're going to get breast cancer, that is the best. Because it is so early. And it's in one place. It hasn't spread anywhere. It's very treatable, very isolated. Yeah. And so at that point, I knew what I had, I knew what I needed to do, I called my doctor, he actually gave me a recommendation for a breast surgeon to go talk to. He said, I would send my wife there, if she was in the same situation, he really trusted her. She was probably the best breast surgeon in that hospital and even in the area. So I, I made appointments, go see her. She is very booked up. I think my doctor must have called her or something because she got me in within like, just a few days. Oh, that's great. Let's make the appointment. And my brother went with me, because I knew I wouldn't remember most of what she said,

 

22:42

that's a really good, that's a good move. And that's really important. Because we're in a completely different emotional state. It's nice to have that backup person taking notes.

 

22:52

Absolutely. Yeah. And I think, you know, in hindsight, that was probably one of the best moves I made, because I talked to so many women since who have gone into that appointment by themselves, and really not been able to make a good decision because they can't remember anything that they that they talked through with the doctor. And it's really important to find somebody early on who can kind of be that backbone and that support for you, at least through that initial decision process of what am I going to do to treat this? Yeah.

 

23:22

And I think that that whole mentality of one as women, I think that we have this mentality that we got this, you know, we can take care of everything, we're gonna handle it all. And at the same time, there's, you know, the warrior mentality or the survivor, you're the warrior, and we have this impression put upon us that you got this, you got this, you're fine. And so even sometimes when we're feeling like, oh, I don't got this, you know, we still feel like I but I guess I should have it, you know, I think everybody's supposed to be okay, and be strong enough and drive themselves and take care of this. But that's not really true. And it's okay to reach out and ask for help. And to say, I'm a train wreck right now, and I need help. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

24:06

Right? Yeah, I think for me, that was probably one of the biggest things that I had to adapt to. I'm uh, I mean, extremely proud person almost almost too much. You can't be. So for me, it was very hard to ask for help. But that was one of the things that my brother told me early on, ask for help. Or just take it if it's offered. Yeah. Do not just sit back and think that you can deal with this on your own because you don't have to. Yeah, you probably can. But you don't have to. So why Why try. Take that support wherever you can get it. Right.

 

24:43

And I think it's important to to understand that for people who care about us and for people who are out there trying to offer support. It's important to them because that's really the only thing they can do. They can't make you better, you know, they can't make it go away. And so at least if we allow them to feel You're like, I can do something. You know, I had people offer different stuff. And my and I think I really I have this, but I knew that it was all they could do to show they care. And it was important to them. So we have to think of their perspective as well, I think. Yeah,

 

25:13

yeah, that's that's a very good point. That was something that I had never even considered until I went through this. You know, because I'm always there trying to help other people, just because that's my nature. But I had a friend tell me that one time when I told her, I don't need, I don't need you to bring me food. I don't need you to do this. She said, I'm bringing it and you need to let me do that. Because I need to do. Yeah. And that's, that's very important to remember not, you know, we're, if you're going through something like this, you're kind of self absorbed just naturally anyway. But if you can think about what other people kind of need to do to help. You know, it's it's such a big important step to so I agree.

 

25:52

Yeah, very good point. Yeah. So what did you and so did you end up having surgery? What were your treatments?

 

26:00

Yeah. So since I had stage zero, which is basically, you know, the very, very first step of breast cancer. Typically, what what they recommend from a textbook perspective is to just have a lumpectomy where they'll just kind of scoop out just that part of your breast tissue and the belt done, and check your lymph nodes, make sure everything's good. I did a lot of research, I actually contacted the American Cancer Society, and I call their 800 number and got a lot of information. I'm a business analyst. So I like to get my hands on data

 

26:37

and data, please. Yeah.

 

26:41

overanalyze and overthink everything. But the American Cancer Society, they were able to give me actually tons of information on statistics and things of that nature, and the pros and cons of different options in terms of treatment. And I literally just took all that information I got and sat down and kind of did a pros and cons list for myself grayed out what was the best option. And so my options were to have a lumpectomy or I could have a mastectomy where they would remove the entire breast tissue, resident tissue, or I could do a double mastectomy and also remove the other breasts that did not have cancer in it. So those are really my three options. And what was interesting for me, in terms of my research and blogs that I looked at, and people that I talked to that were survivors, you really have to consider the psychological aspects and After Effects of your treatment, and what I mean by that is, I could have gotten a lumpectomy, but that would have just taken out just that small part. And for me, I tend to be a little OCD. And I, I know myself well enough, I would have probably obsessed about whether they got everything or not. So I knew at a minimum for me, with my state of mind and how I overthink and overanalyze everything, that at a minimum, I had to at least get a mastectomy on that side, I had to get the whole thing taken off, I don't want to have to think about it.

 

28:13

Such a great point, such a great point you make because I you know, one of the things that I find sad is how people will judge the decisions that other people going through cancer are making. And, you know, as soon as you hear that judgment, you know that this person has never had cancer. And some women feel just get in, get it out, get it over as fast as I can I want to move on, I don't want to deal with it. And for them a lumpectomy might be fun. And there's like, I mean, I'm out. And for others, too, you have to know your own state of mind. You have to be your own advocate on so many levels, not just for when a radiologist says, You okay, let's watch, you're like, No, I'm not okay with this, I want more tests. And to say that No, a lumpectomy is, and I'm an I'm going to be so worried so much that I'm going to give myself cancer from making myself sick. So let's just do this whole thing. You know, you have to know yourself enough to be an advocate for yourself and to stand up for what what works for you what feels right for you. That's the only thing that matters at that point.

 

29:17

Absolutely, absolutely. And that that was a huge revelation. For me, I didn't realize how important that really was in the decision making process and even beyond that, cancer treatment is not a one size fits all it is very individualized. So what works for one person may not work for the next person. Not just even in the the treatments and the chemo and things like that. But you know, like you said, a lumpectomy might be okay for one person, but for someone else like for me, I knew that was not going to do it for me. So I ended up deciding to get a double mastectomy Actually, I wanted to get rid of as much possible risk of breast cancer coming back as I possibly Could, my my breast surgeon was not in agreement with it, but she understood it. And she respected the decision. But in terms of the odds, since my cancer initially was just stage zero, the chances of me having a recurrence from just having a lumpectomy versus a mastectomy was maybe only a 5% increase. If I had a lumpectomy, I might have been only at a 5% increase risk of having a recurrence than if I had a mastectomy. But those were the odds that I had to weigh out for myself. And psychologically, I knew that I just needed to get get it all removed, so that I wouldn't worry about it again.

 

30:40

Right? Because again, odds are an average odds are across the board. Right? And so maybe on that bell curve, the odd was 5%. But we're your mentality and your feeling of safety. You're at 80%. No, that is just not for me. So, you know, it is important. It's like an odd, it's just it's a statistic, it's a number and you're a human being, you're not a number, you have to take your emotions into consideration. Yeah,

 

31:07

right. Right. And it was a tough decision. I won't say that I went into it lightly. It was a very tough decision, of course. But again, for me, that's what I felt I needed to do at the time. And, again, in hindsight, I'm glad I did that, because from the time I had the biopsy, to the time I had my double mastectomy surgery was only a three week period. Between Yeah, it was very quick, really quick that time period, my diagnosis actually changed from a stage zero to stage one A, which means it actually started to spread. And it was very small, it was just by one millimeter. But when they took a sample and did the pathology of the edges of what they removed it it started to spread by one millimeter into the breast tissue. And once it starts to spread, then you know, there's no telling what happens and mine happens to be a pretty aggressive form. I don't to be honest, I don't remember all the numbers, but it was it was on the high end of being aggressive in terms of how quickly it would spread.

 

32:14

Yeah. And it's important to I think, to point out that, even when they're giving us diagnostics, it's not really until they get in there and they actually see the cancer and do those pathologies in surgery and post surgical that they really know what's happening inside of you. And I know that had that's not uncommon for people a diagnosis to increase after the surgery, and they get a sneak peek at what's really happening inside of there. Because imaging is only so good. Unfortunately, you know, it can't pick up everything. So yeah. So that made you I'm sure even happier with your decision.

 

32:50

Oh, yeah, absolutely did. And that actually was part of what factored into my decision as well, because I kept hearing that I kept hearing and reading that they won't know for sure. What, what it really is until they get in there and look. And so for me just doing the love back to me. Well, what if I had something else like hiding off in the car? Yeah, right. And it could just be sitting there and wake up, you know, in a few months, and I'd be going through this all over again. So again, I'm not saying that that's the choice everyone should make. Right. But for me, that was what I felt was the best thing for me. And I don't regret that now. Because obviously, once they got in there, it was just slightly worse than what they thought originally.

 

33:34

And do you think to it, I think that before you have cancer, you have this different perspective. And you just think breast cancer is breast cancer and people get breast cancer, and then they give them this and then they're done or whatever. But you don't realize how individualized it is and how it doesn't matter that it's breast cancer. Every breast cancer can be so different and involves so many different factors. And I was so surprised when and like you data and research and what does this mean? And how does it work? And so it was fascinating. But at the same time, it really widens that perspective on, you know why? And the different age that you are, how the treatment might affect you differently and how the cancers are different. And you know what the aftermath of it might be for you. So, I know for me, it's not even unusual to hear me. Someone have to say to me, you know, oh, I have a friend that went through it. And she didn't have that. Why do you you know, it's like, nevermind, you know, get it.

 

34:37

Yeah, what surprised me? In the research I did before I even made my decision on my treatment was just the different forms of breast cancer. Like you said, it is not breast cancer is not just one size fits all. You have different kinds of hormones, different types of things involved in determining what type you have. Like for me mine was estrogen and progesterone positive Have some people have what might be called triple negative, which means that, you know, they don't absolutely know what triggers their breast cancer to even start. So for me, with mine being estrogen positive, I have to be careful about hormones and things of that nature. Absolutely. I can't take any hormone therapy once I go through menopause or anything like that. And pre menopausal versus post menopausal that factors into your treatments and everything as well, sure, just shocked at almost the matrix of complications in terms of figuring out what your treatment is going to be for you as an individual. It's really, it's shocking, and it's overwhelming. But I guess my word of advice for anyone who is newly diagnosed is Don't Don't let all that overwhelm you. There are people that can help you decipher that and understand it and put it in terms that you can understand and not just all the medical terms, I was overwhelmed by the medical term. Sure. Of course, I was just going crazy with medical. Yeah, because I didn't get it.

 

36:03

So Right. And that can be really challenging. Absolutely. And so did you go through radiation after or did you not have to do the radiation.

 

36:14

So I am a very, very, very lucky, lucky person. And I feel like my whole path was very miraculous, because since I decided to have a double mastectomy, and since my cancer was caused so early, and even though it progressed to stage one, A, it had only started to invade by one millimeter. By the time I started my oncologist, and by the time I talked to my breast surgeon, they all agreed that for me, I didn't need to go through radiation, it would not give me any added benefit, I didn't really have anything to radiate. I've had everything removed. And chemotherapy they did not think was necessary either. Because the purpose of chemotherapy is to hopefully try to get anything any little cell that might have escaped, right? I did not my lymph nodes were clear, they took to two or three lymph nodes out. And they were completely clear. So that meant that the cancer had not started to spread through my lymphatic system. That's great. So it was wholly contained. And anything, any benefits I might get from chemo, the side effects would put me into menopause. Oh, yes, side effects would be much worse than the benefits that it would potentially give me. My oncologist said that I really had less than 1% of a chance that there was something somewhere else in my body that chemo could help.

 

37:41

So thank God for that peak mammogram truck

 

37:45

is thinking of everything leading up to that in my life, there were just so many things that just lined up just perfectly in my life to even prepare me for being able to deal with what I went through. Yeah, too much to go through here. But I am a walking miracle because, yeah, divine intervention, whatever

 

38:02

you'd like to call Yeah. Well, you know, for me, yeah. And the universe had a purpose for being like, hey, Rhonda, come over here to this truck. But as a result of that, you've been doing some super cool stuff. So we want to make sure and take time to talk about that. But I do want to make sure that we point out that when we say okay, you had a mastectomy, or you had a lumpectomy and you didn't do radiation, or you didn't do chemotherapy, or whatever, whatever people do, and don't do that, that is by no means and any universe makes it easier. You know, you had to have a very invasive surgery. And that affects you on so many levels. And you know, self esteem and body image, and it's a scary major operation to go through. And it doesn't and should never be minimized. You know, that is maybe you didn't have to do the invasive chemical treatments. But that's something just to be more grateful for not to say, Oh, it wasn't like you really had to go through cancer treatment. Yes, you did. And it was a major, major treatment, you know. So how did that change your perspective? And what did you do after you completed your treatment as a result of having had breast cancer?

 

39:16

Okay, so, first of all, thank you for making that point. Because I will say that I've had, I don't know if you want to call it survivor's guilt or whatever. But the fact that I did go through chemo, and I know so many women who have and who have really suffered through it, and it affects everybody differently. I struggled with that for a while because I felt like I cheated cancer out of its own game. That's kind of how I call it cancer out of its own game because I didn't have to go through that. And it was hard for me talking to people who have gone through chemo because I never experienced it. Yeah, but to your point. What I went through was not you know, a piece of cake.

 

39:59

Oh no.

 

40:00

all right for anyone, anyone else who was fortunate enough to be able to go through that same kind of experience I did, I hope that they won't shortchange themselves, because cancer is a very scary thing. You should be very proud of getting through whatever you get through. Treatment is. So I appreciate you saying that. Yeah. For everyone to realize that

 

40:21

it is important. And it's important to say that you, fortunately, didn't have to do those things because of that early detection. So just more of an icon of get an early mammogram, even if you're healthy, because we're always healthy until you get the phone call that says you have cancer, then yeah, oh, I was healthy two minutes ago. And now I have cancer. Yeah. No, that's very important. It's a huge, huge undertaking to go through a mastectomy. Yeah,

 

40:49

definitely. And so one of the things that when I first got diagnosed, I was dying, I got my official diagnosis on June 23, of 2015. And three days later, I was on the phone with a lady from the American Cancer Society here in St. Louis, talking to her about they're Making Strides Against Breast cancer walk that they do every year. And for me, what I have to do with my personality, I'm an extrovert, I like to talk a lot. I like to be around people, I had to get involved in something to get my mind off of me, I needed to get out of that woe is me stay and figure out what I could do to get back and what I could do to start helping other people. Because what I realized very early on was that there is a huge, huge support system out there of women, one in eight women in their lifetime, will be diagnosed with breast cancer, what a women, it's causing women around you. That's crazy people around you that you don't even know that are breast cancer survivors, potentially, oh, yeah, there's a huge support group out there that we should all be taking advantage of.

 

41:59

Absolutely. And I think that a lot of survivors, they want to be able to give that support. You know, I had a friend who had had cancer before I was diagnosed, and she's like, you know, I never want to welcome you to this club. But I want you to know that I'm gonna be here for you through the whole thing, you know, and that's so true. Like you hope they never join you. But if they do, you've got their back.

 

42:23

Right? Definitely. Yeah, definitely. So I ended up getting involved in that right away. They had their kickoff breakfast just in early August, I think. So right after my surgery, which was on July 16. Two or three weeks later, I was attending their kickoff breakfast, for their walk that they have in October here in St. Louis. And I decided I was going to go all in, try to raise as much money as I could. That was my way of feeling like I was actually contributing back. The American Cancer Society had been such a huge resource for me and helping me make my decision on my treatment that I wanted to be able to give back to other people, somehow, in terms of fundraising, and things of that nature. And aside from the fundraising aspect of it, being around all those survivors was surreal. And for me, seeing you know, they had people stand up who's been a survivor for five years, who's going to survive and pretend. See, and I'm almost getting teary eyed. Now even talking about seeing all those long term survivors that were out there, there was one lady that had been like a 40 year survivor. It's awesome. Oh, that gives me hope that gives me right, that I'm not I'm not going to die from this, this is not going to be the thing that kicks me down and keeps me down. That's awesome. Seeing that was very therapeutic. And just something that I needed to help me kind of get through that last phase of, Oh, I feel so sorry for myself. And I, and I'm not going to sugarcoat that you're going to feel sorry for yourself, if you go through this. That's human nature.

 

44:01

That's normal. And it's okay.

 

44:04

It is absolutely okay. And that's part of the whether you want to call it the grieving process, whatever it is, you need to be sure that you're taking care of your own mental state through this process. And for me, getting involved in something like making strides was probably the best thing that I could have chosen, just to be around all those people and know that, you know, I was only maybe a couple of months out from my surgery, but being around 1000s of women who had kicked this thing was

 

44:32

amazing. So moving, that's wonderful. Yeah, yeah.

 

44:36

So I've I continue to stay involved with the American Cancer Society. Last year, they actually picked me to be one of their portraits of hope. I was one of nine other eight other women.

 

44:47

Congratulations.

 

44:50

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. We basically you know, we did speaking engagements and you know, we were kind of the platform if you will for the Making Strides Against Breast cancer event here in St. Louis, to kind of help promote that extra level of hope to other women who are going through breast cancer diagnosis and women that had been newly diagnosed or women that were, you know if the chance of recurrence is there. So, you know, there are a lot of women that end up having a recurrence of breast cancer. So we had a, we had a broad mixture of different different types of women, as portraits of Hope, who had been through various stages of treatment, recurrence, whatever. So you know, our message was to really just provide hope to other women. And because of that conduit to let them know that the American Cancer Society is there, they have an enormous amount of resources to help people get through things they've got with programs, they've got a program called look good, feel better, where they actually help women who are going through chemo, learn how to put on makeup in a different way to accentuate the positive aspects of their features, and to take away from the fact that they're losing their hair, they help them, you know, learn how to put scars on and really fun ways. And isn't that

 

46:06

amazing? That is such a great program. Yeah.

 

46:10

And that's free, all of the stuff is free. But most women have no idea that it's even available. So, you know, trying to get that word out that. And it's not just the American Cancer Society, there are obviously other groups as well. For me, they were the one that really kind of helped me through everything. And I'm not saying they're the end all be all, they might not be the one for someone else. But you know, there are a ton of organizations out there to help women get through breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, everything else. And

 

46:39

so important. Yeah, to let people know, look and look out. And I think and even for me, I think I did it. I think I saw the American Cancer Society is kind of a research organization. Before having cancer, it wasn't something that I thought of that, oh, they're out there, like actually doing things and helping people get to their chemotherapy treatments. And, you know, helping them understand, like you said, how to put on makeup, and they have, like a mentor group people you can call other survivors for support and adjust great, great organization. Yeah,

 

47:10

yeah. And actually, that, to that point, I actually got involved in their Reach to Recovery Program, where they paired me with a survivor here locally in St. Louis, and she was there 24/7 if I needed anything, you know, just to talk or whatever. And they, the people that do this program, they put them through training so that they're, you know, they they know how to help people get through those difficult times, because we're, we are a train wreck as we're going through.

 

47:38

Yeah, it's a lot all over the place, right? It's just a lot to deal with it is.

 

47:44

So, you know, a lot of people aren't. Not everybody is an extrovert like me to be around a lot of people, right? There's that one on one support, too. If you just need somebody to be there just to lean on, you know, the American Cancer Society has that reached recovery program, other organizations have programs like that as well. Yeah,

 

48:05

lots of local programs. I think too. I know I am a mentor with a local program here out of Long Beach, California called Women guiding women. And that's what we do. But it's the say it's so important to be matched with someone because you know, you want someone who understands what you're going through and say, This is what happened. This is what I was diagnosed with. This is what you know, my prognosis, my treatment and they know that it's okay, I've been through it, you don't have to be afraid, you know, and they can really support you and that's yet that's life changing. That's a really important support pillar.

 

48:35

Yeah, it really is. And I I can't imagine for myself, I can't imagine having gone through this on my own. If I didn't have a support group around and I had a wonderful support system i I'm gonna brag about okay, I had a great support system. My my boyfriend, Howard was instrumental in just helping me remain sane through the entire grade. He was there to help me through my recovery. Because I really after my surgery, I couldn't do a single thing for myself.

 

49:05

That's it's difficult. You can't use your arms.

 

49:08

You really can't. But I also I work with a wonderful group of people I work for Nestle Purina I work in their engineering group and they first of all they put together care calendar for me to bring me meals every other day. And that was just amazing. And I'm, I can cook but it's not my favorite thing. Really nice to help.

 

49:33

Great.

 

49:34

Yeah. And they also did they did Friday photo bombs every Friday. I was out for about six or seven weeks. And every Friday they went down into the atrium and they created like a ribbon. Working with whatever but they created like a ribbon. Took a picture that

 

49:54

is amazing. dyed their hair pink. Oh my gosh. That's so cool.

 

50:00

They went all out for me. And so every Friday, that was my thing to look forward to. Oh, yeah. And that just lifted my spirits so much just to know that there was a group of people that knew that I was going through something that knew that, you know, that was just something that I needed

 

50:16

to do you think to that, you know, it, I found for me that it helped to change my perspective, because we hear stories day in and day out from news and whatever they're about horrible things, just horrible things that people do. And then you have something like this happen. And the goodness in people and the generosity in people is just, it's overwhelming. You know, even I was still when I think about things people did for me, it brings tears to my eyes, because people just really they want to care. They do care. They that's just such a neat thing, you know, and it's just like, Where can we help? And where can we contribute? That's really beautiful. So let's talk about Ronda TG Fs. Okay. All right. What is it and why did you start it? And what do you do?

 

51:00

Well, when I first got diagnosed, and once I once I got over kind of the initial shock of everything. I knew that I wanted to have some way to kind of tag my journey through social media. So I came up with a hashtag, it's hashtag Rhonda, TGF s r o da, no h in my name. Because that's not the normal spelling. But I, I chose, I chose T GFS for a couple of different reasons. TTFN stands for tough girls fight strong, okay. And I know that again, that's kind of a cliche, you know, tough girls fight strong. But for me, it has a little bit of an extra meaning that I really internalized. So number one, tough girls, I'm a very determined person, I'm an overachiever, I have my parents to think for anything I do, I go out of 110%, I do not give up easily. And I know that for me, I can do anything that I put my mind to, if I really want to do it, if I really want to achieve it, I can do it. So tough girls, that's how I envisioned myself, I'm tough, I can do whatever I need to do to make things work. Tough girls fight the fight party that, you know, kind of goes along with it. I'm a fighter, I won't give up. I am a very, very determined person. And I'm not going to give up on anything that I set my mind to. I mentioned earlier, both of my parents had different forms of cancer, my father had kidney cancer, my mom had leukemia. And my father passed away. Very young, I was only 20 When he passed away. So it was a very, those very, very difficult time in my life. But I saw what my father did, in terms of getting through his cancer journey, I saw what my mom did in terms of getting through her as they were tough, they never gave up, they were always fighting. And more importantly, they were so positive, just through everything. And that really stuck with me. And I never knew how much that would affect me until I ended up going through cancer myself. So tough girls fight. That's that first part, and then strong. Once again, my my parents, really, I have them thanks so much for my character, because they really instilled in me, just just having this vision of being, you know, having strength. Again, you know, constantly in here, but not giving up being determined. And always knowing that whatever you can do whatever you want to do, you can do it if you put your mind to it. And that that kind of worked into what I'd come up with is kind of my motto now. And I actually have little business cards that I that I put this on, so I can answer people. But this is something that I try to live by now My motto is to act on everything with a purpose. So whatever you do, make your decision. Go with it. And don't look back, no regrets. Don't even give yourself a chance to think about the regrets when you make your decision and go and that's kind of what I did with. I mean, it was a tough decision to make but with my treatment, that's what I did. Once I made that decision. I stuck with it. I went no regrets. I'm not gonna say it was easy, right? But I have no regrets with what I did. And so that's what I tried to do with everything in my life now and it really my my breast cancer experience is kind of just put a spotlight on that for me now in my life that whatever I want to do, I can do. I've determined awesome a tough girl I can find strong.

 

54:38

So tell me about the music the trouble symbol in your tough girls fight strong hashtag. How does that work?

 

54:47

So I come from a family of musicians. I actually play the piano and I used to saying I don't see as much as I used to but I used to be in a singing group when I was in college and music is a very A big part of my life music is very therapeutic for me. I pretty much like any and every kind of music from, you know, Jazz Blues, Jim Brickman type, you know, modern classical, all the way to rap, hip hop, whatever. I like the whole spectrum. And so, again, very early on right after I was diagnosed, I had to stay busy with something, I crossed it. Oh, and I came up with the treble clef symbol. And it just came to me one day, when I was driving somewhere, I was just thinking about what can I do with music and my breast cancer experience. And it's just like popped in my head, this treble clef with the breast cancer ribbon, and love that I got to see if I can make that happen. So I actually have a cross stitch that I did that's hanging up in my wall at work. Now, I love it treble clef with the pink ribbon.

 

55:52

Look at all this divine inspiration you get.

 

55:58

I came up with the, you know, with the hashtag Ronda tdfs, that I kind of put and the pink ribbon part of that symbol. And that's my logo. Now. My go to logo. And last year for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer thing, I ended up putting together a music CD, which is all piano compositions that I created that I wrote, I actually produced and engineered the CD for me. I did a lot of journaling as I was going through my initial treatment and recovery. And so out of that journaling, I put together a little short story with each song that's on that CD that just tells my journey, not just through the cancer treatment, surgery and everything, but the emotional aspect of it. And, you know, my support system and just trying to cover that entire journey of, you know, start to finish and how I was feeling and trying to match the music, you know, the emotions of the music with the story. And

 

56:58

that's great. How can people get that CD?

 

57:01

So I have a website, it's www dot Rhonda R O MDA t gfs.com. It's available on there, I ask a donation of $10. If you can't do $10, that's fine. But anybody can contact me through that website. Any proceeds from the sale, that CD goes to the American Cancer Society, specifically to their breast cancer research, funding and patient services? So it's very targeted? That's great. Yeah. And Michael's story is on that website, too. So anybody that wants to know more, and I'm an open book, to share my story, because I'm hoping to help someone else not have to go through a lot of the turmoil that I did initially, there's there are so many resources out there, we all need to help each other as much as we can.

 

57:49

I agree. 100%. And I love I want to point out that a lot of times people don't give to different charitable organizations, because I think where does the money really go? And does the money really go to the administrative guys and not to the people who need help? And I think it's important to point out that no, with things like the American Cancer Society, with the Susan Komen Foundation with the Avon 39 Walk, I mean, these people put fantastic resources out there for women who have gone through and are going through cancer, and they really do, you know, supply a lot of help a lot of support a lot of resources. So we know that that money is going to something that actually gives back to that patient that's in need. And that's really special and really important, really important. Yes, yes.

 

58:38

Even on my website, I even so people do know where the money goes, I have a page on there that explains where the American Cancer Society money specifically goes, like $25 will do this much for a person or whatever. So that's great. It's very important for people to understand how that money is being spent. Because, you know, money. Money is very precious to all of us,

 

58:58

right? And money is tight. When you're going through breast cancer treatment. You don't realize how expensive breast cancer treatment is, right? People you know that especially well, you have a job, you have insurance, you're fine. It's like holy cow. There are a lot of expenses involved that people don't realize until they're in it, you know? Exactly, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, I am so happy and I am going to get that CD because I'm looking forward to hearing it. That's really cool. But I love just seeing everything that you're doing. He has such a great attitude and and I know that just your energy and what you're putting out there is so fantastic to bring more awareness to help people know. And again, we're not even though we talk about what happens in treatment. I think that's important because again, different survivors can identify, oh, that's what happened to me or this would happen to me. But it's sometimes feel like cancer treatment is like being pregnant. And when you're you know having cancer people are coming from all over to support and to be caring but Once that baby comes, or what sad treatments over, right? I have a joke with my family when I was going through treatment, they all would swoop in every Sunday for taco night, they bring in all the food, they, you know, they bring in food, and then they bring me food for the week. And then they leave and my kitchen was clean. And I said, But then once you guys realized that I wasn't gonna die, you all sat up by the firepit left me to clean the kitchen. You know, so we forget that this person, I think we oftentimes people who haven't had cancer think, oh, their treatments done, they're good, they're good to go, like, get back to life, let's do this. And they don't realize that that has a serious and deep physical, emotional, spiritual impact on the human being that goes through it. And oftentimes have cutting that apron string of here's my blood tests every couple of weeks at my doctor every couple of weeks, and my scans and all this too, okay, we'll see in six months, is very, very frightening. And so those survivors really continually need support and need to know that other people experienced that. I think like you said, you had survivor guilt. Oftentimes, I'll talk with women who they, you know, they're feeling like I'm struggling, like, there's something in me, there's this internal turmoil, but everyone expects me just to go back to life like normal, and life isn't normal anymore. And it's okay to admit that. Yeah, right. Like you said earlier changes you.

 

1:01:24

Right, it affects you the rest of your life. And some people, it's harder than it is for others, maybe, but there's, for me, there's always a cloud of is it's going to come back. And that's always going to be there. And I know that and it's okay. It's okay to feel that way.

 

1:01:40

That's a great point. Yeah, it's not

 

1:01:42

through that. We all feel that. And it's okay to feel that. Yeah. And then

 

1:01:46

it just learning those tools to process that. So you don't get stuck in it, you know, because you can get stuck in it really easily. That's not a place you want to get stuck. No. Well, before we wrap it up, is there anything else that you would like to say you're given such great messages today, but if you could give any message to any survivor out there on Is there anything else you'd like to say?

 

1:02:10

I think probably the couple of biggest things for me is number one, do not be afraid to ask for or take help. If someone offers it, take it, take as much as you can. And don't think that you're taking advantage of anyone. Because if you're going through treatment or anything, you need that support system, just to make sure that you stay stay focused on yourself, you're the number one priority in terms of getting healthy again. And never never lose or give up hope. Because breast cancer is very treatable. And especially if it's caught early. So ladies, start getting your mammograms at 40. Do not forget that do not procrastinate like I did. And then find a support group or you know, other women that have been through this. Lots of organizations have, you know, groups that can help with that, like I mentioned, the American Cancer Society has reached a recovery. I know Laura, you're a coach on one of on something local there where you live, reach out, find someone that you can talk to someone who's been there somebody who can help you through those dark moments, because you will have those dark moments, but you've got to figure out how to climb out of them, because the only way that you're going to get better is to stay positive and to take care of you. So

 

1:03:30

great, great message. Thank you so much. Thanks so much for all of your time. And I hope you have a safe and happy Fourth of July. And I'm gonna look forward to looking at your CD as well.

 

1:03:45

Thank you so much. Thanks for the opportunity to share my story.

 

1:03:48

Not only is it my pleasure to get to have had this time with Rhonda to listen to this incredible lady's story, but I am really happy that I get to share her story, her resources and ways to get in touch with her and support the work she's doing with you. So if you're interested in reading more about Rhonda story, and in downloading some of her music, you can go to her website at WWW dot Ronda RONDATGF S. So that's Rhonda TGF s.com And in just a moment I'm going to share with you one of the songs from Rhonda CD with her permission when I asked her if any song she would have any song she would choose for me to share. She picked this one that's titled strong because of you. And she told me that even though this song is a little bit slower, she felt that it really expressed her and the emotions of how much other people supported and helped her through some of her darkest times. So I hope you check out her website and please support Ron does work. And in just a minute you're going to enjoy this really beautiful song her entire CD is Just amazing. And before I go and I played that, I just want to thank you again for tuning in for listening to the breast cancer recovery coach podcast. I would ask and encouraged and be so grateful if you could leave a review for this podcast in the iTunes Store. And I do finally want to acknowledge that I get support to continue with this podcast through beauty counter. beauty counter is a company with a mission to get safer cosmetics into the hands of every woman. And you should definitely read their story, check out the beauty counter link on my website, Laura lummer.com. Or go to beauty counter.com forward slash Laura Lummer where you can read more about some of the toxic chemicals that were exposed to as women who want to look good in our cosmetics and in our beauty care products and how we can avoid having some of that toxicity in our lives. All right, thanks again. And here we go. Please enjoy this beautiful song strong because of you. And I'll see you again in two weeks on the next episode of the breast cancer recovery coach.